Long Novocain Poems
Long Novocain Poems. Below are the most popular long Novocain by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Novocain poems by poem length and keyword.
A skeleton walks into a bar and says
“Gimme a beer and a mop”
Show me where Joseph Stalin is buried
And I'll show you a communist plot
My masseuse rubbed me the wrong way again
Fired her though she had good skills
A duck in a bar orders a couple of beers
Says, “Just put it on my bill”
About seven million people are overweight
These, of course, are round figures
Where would you find giant snails I ask
On the ends of a giant's fingers
Studied over four years to become a doctor
But I didn't have any patience
A Buddhist refused Novocain from his dentist
To transcend dental medication
Had a job working in an orange juice factory
Got canned 'cause I couldn't concentrate
Also worked for a pool maintenance company
Too draining so getting fired was my fate
Thought I'd try working as a tailor a while back
But the job wasn't suited for me
Can you please tell me the purpose of reindeer
It makes the grass grow, my sweetie
Enough is enough so until next time we meet
Thanks for your indulgence once more
I will definitely want your honest critique
But please be gentle, I implore
© Jack Ellison 2014
Sometimes it’s like pulling teeth in pain, even with Novocain
Or climbing a San Francisco hill in a Chevy Chevette
Or trying to fly a kite on a none windy day
Words I say, from my heart to yours, seldom come easy
I’m certain my brain is not on ‘lockdown’ or it would
have told me so. Or maybe it did, and I simply wasn’t listening
It appears that I was born in the quiet zone, but I’m trying to get out
I wish that I was more vocal because you are a lover of words
It bothers me greatly that my words don’t flow as freely as a river
Is there a blockage? Is there a dame holding back words I want to
deliver? Although I know the beauty and the power of the spoken word;
Still, I struggle. But today, I sense a few fitting words, coming from
my heart to yours.
Please forgive me when I seem cold and distant, like the North Pole
Please do not hold it against me when I’m like the birds of Fall,
anticipating wintry weather. May it never be said of me,
that I have flown South on you.
Surely, it is not the fault of one such as you, who is as steady as
the sun, rising out of the Eastern sky. Never should one be blamed
who is strong and sure, fearless and faithful, so kind and true.
O dear one, may you never cease to be this way.
May it be said by me today without further delay.
You and I, forever together, we shall stay.
O, my dear beloved wife, the point is this:
I am sorry for the times I seem far, foreign, and dry.
There is no excuse for one like me, who’s such a lucky guy.
For I am blessed with one as lovely as the setting sun in the Western sky
04252015PS Contest, A Difficult Topc For You, Lewis Raynes
Disappointed Tina
Tina was mad,
thought she gotten a lad
that would fulfill her dreams
turning whispers into screams
First night in bed under the spread
there was nothing there to grab
That’s when mean Tina kicked Fred out of bed
By; Eve Roper & Sonny Roper 3/21/2016
Inspired by Jan Allison's poem "Terrifying Tina"
http://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/terrifying_tina_770135
TERRIFYING TINA
A petite ballerina named Tina
Seemed serene but she couldn’t be meaner
When she got in the sack
She was on the attack
At the size and the shape of his ‘wiener’
Her suitors would then try to dodge her
After insults on their little todger
But listen up guys
I have a surprise
She’s transgender and she was once Rodger!
20th March 2016 Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2016
Continuation poem written by Sonny Roper
TERRIFYING TINA PART 2 - COLLABORATION WITH SONNY ROPER
Tina wanted a special honeymoon night
She wanted everything to be just right
Into his drink she slipped two little blue pills
It was to enhance their midnight thrills
Into the bed she jumped with her stud
But the night suddenly turn into a dud
Fred was in the land of dreams! As a joke it seems
Someone had slipped Novocain into her Vaseline!
Original Limerick by Jan Allison - the story of Tina continued by Sonny Roper
25th March 2016
Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2016
http://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/terrifying_tina_part_2___collaboration_with_sonny_roper_771773
super boll
boll weevil twin brothers: one was great, one the lesser of two weevils
you killed my father, prepare to die
three-legged dog in a saloon: "looking for the man who shot my paw"
a news headline i'd like to see
buddhist avoids novocain wants to transcend dental medication
somewhere in the middle
she once told me i was average i said she was just being mean
that would be a real night-mare
he tries to not talk like a horse doesn't want to be a neigh sayer
what's a particle like you doing in a place like this?
neutron asks "how much for a beer?" the bartender says, "for you, no charge"
eleventh one's the charm?
i entered ten pun contests hoping one would win
no pun in ten did
Happy New Year to all... may your 2023 be filled with smiles
I pass by wispy meadows
That have always lined these roads
I've got a dollar in my pocket
And a dog who will follow me,
Almost anywhere
I let the sunshine deaden me
With solar Novocain
And my tear ducts that dried up
A long, long time ago
Don't despair if I'm not there
You're better off without me
and the burden I've become
'Cause if I stay this thing remains
I'm sure you'd do the same
I've worked the same job for a decade
With nothing much to show
Just a pension and some wisdom
And a handful of bad memories
So, forgive me if i leave you
Without so much as a goodbye
Your time is worth more than The dollar
That I waisted
For some cigarettes
It seems unfair that you're still there
While I'm leaving,
This place that never wanted us
For anything
In my travels I have wandered
Much more than two and fro
And though I’m tired
I regret that I am leaving here
Just as I wandered home
Original limerick written by Jan Allison
A petite ballerina named Tina
Seemed serene but she couldn’t be meaner
When she got in the sack
She was on the attack
At the size and the shape of his ‘wiener’
Her suitors would then try to dodge her
After insults on their little todger
But listen up guys
I have a surprise
She’s transgender and she was once Rodger!
Continuation poem written by Sonny Roper
Tina wanted a special honeymoon night
She wanted everything to be just right
Into his drink she slipped two little blue pills
It was to enhance their midnight thrills
Into the bed she jumped with her stud
But the night suddenly turn into a dud
Fred was in the land of dreams! As a joke it seems
Someone had slipped Novocain into her Vaseline!
Original Limerick by Jan Allison - the story of Tina continued by Sonny Roper
25th March 2016
Hey, would you care to chat? Actually, I think you should take a seat, and listen as a matter of fact. Don’t take this too hard but you’re invasive, like English Ivy; smothering. You are very ostentatious. Seeking any eyes admiration. You're pretentious and that word could be found carved into your tooth’s cavity, by a craigslist dentist. Probably how you started to speak your own language. Guess it’s expected the Novocain has you singing notes of your testament, in Life’s chair found is your true confessions . What has you trembling, feeling like now's the time to confess your sins? The end has always been subjective, but nonetheless expected. He forgives , though sadly humans don’t forget, the wrongs onto them that were committed by wickedness. Recently I learned that it wasn’t by a stranger who made me hurt, it was but a memory of one of my past characters. That cuts. So it’s onto getting through overcrowded unreliable thoughts from different versions that were shed, when we changed and evolved on, just a memory in our head. Moments of you, from versions of few, where all the characters were played by no one other than you. Lead was always within you. That is what I just learned. That everyone you meet, everyone you’ve hurt, they are just external parts of you existing still trying to gain worth . Its an odd truth to observe, but it tickles your thoughts and makes you reconsider being unkind to anyone as they are just a reflection of you from the past lives that lived within you.
I would rather have all my teeth pulled out by a mad gorilla
From the psychiatric ward of a jail house in Manilla,
With a pair of dirty dingy pliers, and manure and more,
Than have to walk on Black Friday into any store’s entrance door.
Rather have my wisdom teeth pulled by this deranged gorilla head,
Without benefit of Novocain in a dirty cow-birthing shed,
Nothing neat, nothing sterile, or the least bit clean along the way,
Than have to go kicking and screaming into a store on Black Friday.
So if you think you are going to call me at two in the a.m.
And try to get me to the store, I am simply not one of them.
And if you call me at the ridiculous morning hour of two,
I will send this head-case gorilla to pull some teeth out of you.
(This is a fictional poem)
When I went to the dentist, I was not thrilled.
It scared me to death when he used his drill.
He went in my mouth and started drilling.
He forgot to use novocain so you can imagine the pain I was feeling.
I asked him to stop but he said no.
I pushed him with my foot and he went out the window.
He didn't hit the ground, he landed in some trash.
Maybe what I did was a little rash.
After getting out of the dumpster, he came back to his office and yelled.
His employees ran out because he smelled.
He popped me in my mouth with his fist.
He told me to get myself another dentist.
When I went to a new dentist, I got in a real mess.
As I came to, he was getting dressed.
The same thing happened to me that happened to Seinfeld.
You should've heard how much I cussed and yelled.
I took the dentist to court and I learned that he did the same thing to the judge
and to my attorney too.
The three of us took him outside and beat him black and blue.
It sure was fun to get revenge.
After that, he never practiced dentistry again.
Form:
Do we not euthanize our terminally ill
because it is not ethical?..
..or do we not do it because of something MORE unethical still?
It costs more to keep a terminally ill patient alive.
It costs much less to euthanize.
The longer you keep alive the terminally ill
the more the medical community can charge on the bill.
Perhaps paranoia is paying a visit with me,
but I smell an ulterior motive in the medical community.
My friend dying from cancer was in chronic pain.
I begged the doctors to give him more morphine.
They refused saying that an increase would probably kill him.
"So what!" I screamed, "Haven't you noticed? He's Dying!
He's going to die any God damned way!
He doesn't have to die this God damned way!
Have some God damned mercy You God damned quacks!
He's in constant pain and he shouldn't have to die like that!"
I screamed the above however within me silently.
It was out of my hands short of the "killer" being me,
but Chris, if I could only do it all over again
I would have put an end to all of your suffering
even at the risk of going to prison.
It would be a small price to pay for my little brother friend.
I was confused at the time and wasn't clearly thinking
so I just played it safe and did absolutely nothing
other than stay with you until the final end
through 18 long hours of constant suffering.
It may sound horrible, but I found such joy and relief
when in death I finally saw you truly at peace.
Imagine your tooth being drilled without any Novocain.
Imagine that going on forever with no relief from this pain.
That's the kind of suffering I witnessed my friend sustain
and ever since then I haven't been the same.
Think of me what you will, but I love and support Dr Kevorkian.
This Is In Honor Of Him. A Very, Very Great Man.