Long Mother in law Poems
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I reminisce, I miss
The days before wedlock
I was my parents darling
They brought me up with love and care
When sick they would ask me to rest
Till I was well they took care.
Often I reminisce, I miss
The days before wedlock
I lived a life of my own
Doing whatever I wanted
All my desires I pursued
Enjoyed life with jest.
Whenever I reminisce, I miss
The days before wedlock
Parents wanted to see me happy
My tension would pain them endlessly
They would do everything to end them
Their life was dedicated for me!
When idle, I reminisce, I miss
The days before wedlock
After marriage I am a responsible person
Cooking for all and taking care
Somewhere my desires have got buried
In midst of responsibilities...
While working, I reminisce, I miss
The days before wedlock
Even when sick I must work
My mother-in-law is aged
Husband leaves early to work
Serving them I lead my life
When unwell, I reminisce, I miss
The days before wedlock
Days before marriage were best days
My parents were good and nice
I often think of them, really miss them
I wish I could go back to them
The days before wedlock
I reminisce, I miss.....
19th March 2021
Inspired by Contest I REMINSSE I MISS by James Edward Lee Sr.
Winner- 1st place
(This is a fictional poem)
My mother-in-law has the biggest mouth in the south.
She keeps talking and she won't shut her mouth.
My remote control can mute my TV, I wish it could mute her as well.
Living in the same house with her is like living in hell.
She has the temper of a bull and the face of a sow.
She eats all of our food and she's as big as a cow.
She criticizes me everyday and that's not fair.
Every time she takes a seat, she breaks the chair.
Yesterday I shaved my head because the ##### gave me lice.
I'll give you anything if you can get hr to leave, you just name the price.
Form:
Monday Morning Madness
Just because the morning starts
like the morning straight from hell,
and the little one is screaming
and you need a magic spell,
just because you burned the pancakes
and the bacon, well it’s crisp,
do not rant and rave and stutter
or you’ll acquire a nasty lisp!
If your husband’s little habits
drive you batty, do not fret,
but don’t fill his cup with poison;
well, perhaps at least not yet!
If the dog destroyed your curtains
and your mother-in-law is back,
and you hurt your precious pinky
when you tried to nail a tack,
do not turn suicidal
and do not give up, no way!
After all it’s just the morning!
You still have the whole damn day!
Our family is all about smells.
When Old Spice clogs our senses
My father is visiting.
Sometimes I get a glimpse of him too,
Out of the corner of my eye.
He has been gone for eight years.
When my mother-in-law visits it is
Oil of Olay, and more than plenty of it.
It permeates the kitchen and the great room area.
Enough already!
I say "Hello, Helen. Glad to see you,
but you know I am an asthmatic," and
the scent vanishes.
She has been gone for ten years.
She died the day after she told her girlfriend
To go get her funeral suit from upstairs.
The girlfriend did not want to.
She was heavy, and there were a lot of stairs!
Smoke surrounds my recliner when Dwight
is around. He was the kindest soul, so sweet
and loving but he seems to want to make a point.
I think it is because he passed in 1984, so he
has been gone a lot longer than the others.
"ENOUGH ALREADY!" I scream when he
visits. Poof. The smoke is gone. I say, "Joe, your
dad is here," and he laughs. Then he says,
"He is always here. He likes it here." My husband is
pretty in tune with spiritual stuff.
Nothing triggers my asthma faster than cigarette
smoke, perfume, and cold air. Those are the three worst
culprits for me. For sure! Sometimes it is damning
being a sensitive.
“Bookkeeper” is the only word in the english language
That has three consecutive double letters
So the next time you're at a party and ask this question
You'll be crowned “Best Trivia Player” ever!
Did you know there are as many chickens on earth
As the number of human beings
This one blew my mind and will surely blow yours
Each day, 75 acres of pizza are eaten
Our eyes are the same size as the day we are born
But our nose and ears don't stop growing
Bet you've never heard about this amazing fact
Under black light, a cat's urine is glowing
A healthy, individual laughs about five times a day
Did you know, “bananas grow pointing up!”
I've heard that bamboo can grows three feet a day
Never stick bamboo up your nose or your butt
The Statue of Liberty's fingers are eight feet long
That's quite amazing for picking her nose
Imagine the size of her ginormous large nostrils
Could probably drive a truck in there if you chose
Did you know that humans average 4,800 words a day
My mother-in-law can beat that no problem
During a full moon, she can speak two words at a time
Some days three but that's not quite as common
Amazing stuff!!!
© Jack Ellison 2014
For example, take my wife—Please!
Who was that lady you were dancing with?
That was no lady—That was my wife!
I bought my husband a chair for his birthday
He won’t even let me plug it in!
I told my doctor I have five es
He said—My god! How does your underwear fit?
I said—Like a glove!
I found my best friend in bed with my wife
I said Lenny! I have to—but you?
Just got back from a pleasure trip
Took my mother-in-law back to the airport
I told my father, no one likes me
He said—Don’t worry, everyone hasn’t met you yet
That man’s nuts! Grab ‘em!
Money is relative—
I have less money than any of my relatives
I’m on a sea food diet
I see food—I eat it
6/3/22
Business executive Darrin Stephens has a life
with a good paying job, a fine boss, and a great wife.
He’s employed by a large advertising agency.
Darrin and Samantha should live with complacency.
However, when anyone sees them, that’s not the case,
some strange phenomena occur often at their place.
They have a nosy neighbor who’s named Gladys Kravitz.
She cannot prove what she knows, and it gives her some fits.
It is easy to determine Darrin’s troubles cause.
He has a bunch of witches and warlocks for in-laws.
His problems are many since he married Samantha.
Darrin’s mother-in-law goes by the name Endora.
It is an encumbrance, and certainly not a joke,
when Endora can turn him into an artichoke.
His father-in-law Maurice, his cousin Serena,
the jokester Uncle Arthur and old aunt named Clara,
cause plenty of problems for him and wife Samantha.
Darrin and Samantha have a daughter, Tabitha.
Daughter Tabitha has the power of a young witch.
Mommy and daddy keep telling her she must not “twitch”!
Whenever Samantha becomes ill on any day,
they call on a witch doctor quack named Dr. Bombay.
He often contributes to Darrin’s situations
with his magical spells, potions, and incantations.
With all of these things, why has not Darrin gone crazy?
These things make a funny situation comedy!
Robert Pettit "Bewitched"
My mother in law has died and was buried today.
Although apart from her son this past ten years,
she and I continued to maintain our loving relationship.
Never judgmental and kind to her core,
we shared many happy outings in her final years.
Christmas concerts, cinema dates and butterfly gardens.
Her son and I had not spoken since our acrimonious split.
But this summer, she talked of my joining their Xmas table.
I said I would, knowing in my heart she could not last until then.
Sleepless last night, she came to me unknowing, in spirit.
How else can I explain the change in my heart?
Before the service, I sympathised, forgave and asked for forgiveness.
In the presence of our eldest child, he and I embraced once again.
Her love inspiring me from the afterlife to forgive at last.
Renewed in faith for a hopeful future, I am free of past hurts.
Her parting gift to me.
23/10/2019
For contest
Writing Challenge 2, November - A Poem Meaningful
Sponsor, Dear Heart - Wisshkobi Ode
This is death; we are all dead. Deceased. Living half-lives or worse.
We ae zombies, sitting at screens, we have forgotten to love each other.
Here is the grim reaper now, to take us to life.
No thanks, we say, thinking death is real.
Our soul knows better, but we have not heard her for years.
This is death; being alive means supposedly “dying”.
Oh, they have passed, someone says, as if dying is a bad thing.
Dying is life, dying is living.
Dying is being ALIVE. DYING is returning HOME.
My relatives are empaths, psychics, and soothsayers.
We know about death.
This earth “life” is death.
Releasing the soul only at night. Being confined to this tight body.
Death is the end, some say.
Not realizing it is the beginning.
Death is sad, some want to think. Sobbing for attention.
I know better. We are empaths and psychics.
We see each other more clearly after a supposed “death”.
Others death is my "life".
My father appears whenever he wants to – so much for “death”.
My mother calls us on her disconnected landline
and some say she is deceased!
My mother-in-law slams the kitchen cupboards – death? Not really.
My father-in-law smokes, until I beg him to stop because I am an asthmatic.
Earth’s life is death. I am an asthmatic here. In heaven, I am not.
The son-in-law was growing desperate
Seeing that his father-in-law wasn't dying.
Juan Sancho's reasons were
That he had gone into debt
Taking out loans in his daughter's name
Deceiving her by saying
That the money he brought home
Was the fruit of his labor and the sweat of his brow
When, in truth, he was a lazy, crooked man
With a silver tongue and a swagger.
The debt collectors
Dressed in black like crows
Were waiting for the son-in-law to come and tell them:
-He's dead now.
Tomorrow I'll inherit and give you the money.
However, good old Antonio, his father-in-law
Who knew him very well
As if he had given birth to him
Hesitatingly told him:
-Wait a little while, Juan Sancho
Wait a bit
Until Death comes for me.
Juan Sancho, furious
Went to his mother-in-law and asked her for money
To treat the loan sharks
To whom he said:
-Damn, he's still alive.
Let's go to the hospital cafeteria
For some coffee.
Juan Sancho left with the loan sharks.
More people came to see how the sick man was doing.
The nurse who came to see Antonio
Saspitably told us:
-Antonio is already suffering in Purgatory.
Death has him ready.
At that moment, from between Antonio's legs
In the bed, already completely collapsed
Through the fly of his pajamas appeared
An erect that no one expected
And let his wife say
That she couldn't get rid of the ********
Not even by giving him a solemn handjob.
They called the hospital priest
Tenaciously reciting an Our Father
A Hail Mary and a Creed
And if you want rice Catalina!
Nothing worked, the ******** remained.
The doctor at the Móstoles Hospital in Madrid
Who signed the death certificate,
Announced to us:
-Antonio has died of a stroke
With a solemn ******** unforgivable.
Juan Sancho, upon hearing the news,
Cheerfully and happily entered the room
Saying to the debt collectors
Who followed him:
-He's dead. The devils have taken him.
The debt collectors replied:
-Now we believe you.