Old One Liners

For example, take my wife—Please! Who was that lady you were dancing with? That was no lady—That was my wife! I bought my husband a chair for his birthday He won’t even let me plug it in! I told my doctor I have five es He said—My god! How does your underwear fit? I said—Like a glove! I found my best friend in bed with my wife I said Lenny! I have to—but you? Just got back from a pleasure trip Took my mother-in-law back to the airport I told my father, no one likes me He said—Don’t worry, everyone hasn’t met you yet That man’s nuts! Grab ‘em! Money is relative— I have less money than any of my relatives I’m on a sea food diet I see food—I eat it 6/3/22