Long Legal tender Poems

Yours truly would never be confused for a gourmand, nevertheless I could enjoy experiencing taste testing select food samples if offered an opportunity of attending a fancy feast viz smörgåsbord, whereby oral indulgence would arouse,...

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Food glorious food

Asia generic guy gastronomy (and how gourmet foods eat destructively clearly beyond any) excess enthusiasm, the necessity to feed and clothe this lean mean exercising machine gunning corporeal essence christened Matthew Scott Harris...

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Where art thou anonymous benefactor...to offer me succor?

Ah... methinks legal tender 
could be a boon to help me bolster 
mein kampf with necessary material equipage,
which prospect to acquire essential 
commodities sabotaged 
at the altar of...

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Introduction: once again I incorporate 
my trademark penchant 
to fabricate fictitiously
portions of the following poetic endeavor
can you care to 
discern fact from fiction?

Attempts at lifelong friendships and holy matrimony...

Shot thru with figuratively cankerous nub,
cuz yours...

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FICTIONAL BIO:

The missus asked me
(hitherto known as her bozo)
just mere moments ago
to craft humorous poem to glow
nsync with the shiny nose of Rudolph
keeping syncopated metrical flow
thus methought to crow
about being equally as foolish
streaking naked outside...

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Once pawn a time...

About four plus weeks after
frazzling fiasco from friggin fraudsters
white knight still mourns swindled money
Lynne Costello Senior Civil Investigator
(assistant to Philadelphia attorney general)
unable to recoup forfeited funds.

While holed up in castle keep,
(albeit fetchodit...

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My jubilant latent, nascent poetic tribute to black history month

Which acknowledgement ought to be year round,
similar to altruistic, humanistic, and philanthropic
unconditional acceptance and respect
crafted with the following words 
mostly written January 23rd, 2023,
cuz I, (a...

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Once a pawn a time within castellated bishopric

We purchased 2020 Hyundai Elantra
at Enterprise Car Rental
1207 West Ridge Pike
Conshohocken, Pennsylvania 19428
April thirteenth two thousand twenty three
witnessed greatest amount of money
I spent at one time.

The following day...

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Nascent poetic tribute to black history month...
crafted before onset when people of color  
got acknowledged for twenty eight or nine days
depending if leap year occurred. 

Though I yam Caucasian,
rightful to honor most bitter
racist genocidal...

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Spouse cannot forget mine suppressed flatulence upon our first date

While yours truly sat here 
at the desk housing MacBook Pro,
pondering his next idée fixe apropos
for gamut of anonymous readers,
he unexpectedly, noisily and effectually
exploded out rear...

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My nascent poetic tribute to black history month

more apropos and alternately titled: 
praise to thee people 
of variegated melanin color,
whose immense understated improvements
and enhancement of webbed wide world
worth more than paltry words
of yours truly can...

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[Non-Fictional Preface: Fictional Old Folks Home/Apparition] "This is the story of two friends, both considered themselves start-up writers, whereas, one who was a bit more of an upstart, was merely known as, Robert Frost. Frost's...

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Ink roached infestation didst derive within mice elf

Minor emendations to following
just posted verse
oversight to correct dissatisfaction,
yours truly I do curse
ah... methinks if hands of time 
can be made to go in reverse
a more exemplary version
to...

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"Robert Frosts', friend, Edward Thomas was an indecisive fellow, until that one day they took the other road Edward wanted, and of course, Robert's piece was not Edward's choice to say the least, so when...

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Loving my refurbished fifteen inch mid 2015 Macbook Pro

A lightning fast machine
purchased three days ago
now comfortably nestling with
said technological wonder,
where outside a cold wind howls
measuring windchill factor of five below
allowing, enabling and providing me
an opportunity...

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I am ill eke quipped to dusk hoover dawn ting task of badinage

Indentured gumption forsaken 
courtesy each pulled wisdom-tooth
this hug gust aspiring writer..., albeit youth
fool looking imp posse Hubble wordsmith,
(i.e. the babbling dad) coon sitters...

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~          

          Welcome to the land of 
         ...

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Ink roached infestation didst derive within mice elf

Thus writer of these words
forever mus lee experiencing 
craving to eat cheese,
a milk product 
eternally preserved within 
annals, chronicles, epistles, 
et cetera of human civilization 
and it's discontents...

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Insomnia welcomed courtesy high test coffee

consumed later at night than usual
finds me bright eyed and bushy tailed
amply lively to learn 
about an American radio 
and television personality and pioneer
Wee Willy Weber,
who prominently and popularly reigned...

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April 5, 2023 – refracted reflections:

The following lines
haphazardly linkedin 
slap dash fashion
over the course 
of dazed and confused days,
therefore desist reading 
any profound meaning
if you dear reader dare expend 
energy and time perusing 
meandering gibberish....

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Roman à clef tragicomedy...
overlaid with façade of fiction = Mein Kampf

in summer re:
typed out during winter of my discontent,
when yours truly no spring chicken
stirred ruse to expatiate poetically
regarding following rhyming reason,
hence mine lovely bones 
into...

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Argh...fresh out of reading material!

Hence... what better opportunity, I aver with zeal
presented to one local everyman token schlemiel
keystone state (Pennsylvania) three score lifelong
trumpeting resident in United States commonweal
experiencing severe withdrawal symptoms I feel

plenti linkedin with...

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Bring on the rejection slips...

and/or try distilling my spirits
at losing gamble
if curious (by George) proceed
reading reasonable rhyme,
I guarantee the following words ramble.

Though flush with good humor
pun one mock two yields negligible
true cash equivalent value won
dirt...

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Wasted verses ushers quirky pathetic oeuvre

HENCE....herewith, 
a post (traumatic) 
stressed disordered poetic whim 
to summarize fantasy
incorrigible lottery dreamer
paradise visage and eyes 
zapping, swatting, and battling 
a bulge with dollar signs
whets imagination with 
Mega Million ticket...

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Overzealousness and assiduousness...

now propels yours truly towards restitution
courtesy sophisticated mountebank,
whose criminal mind
filched mine banknotes
rationed for when I exhibit decrepitude.
Cutthroat robber baron
re: newly minted vandal
an alumni matriculated

from school for scandal
a sheep in wolf's clothing
said culprit I...

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