Long Lay away Poems
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Lay away.
I had never heard the term
Until I saw a friend use it. We were in seventh grade.
We had both fallen in love with a purse with large ugly brown beads attached to the side.
Hers was blonde, mine was orange.
I lamented I could not have it.
Lay a way, she chanted. Lay a way! Lay a way!
I had never heard of it.
This is where you put three dollars down,
The only three dollars you have,
Your babysitting money that used to come hard back then, when
We babysat a family of six for twenty-five cents an hour.
And you have to come back to the store and pay the rest of the money in installments
Until you are finally finished plunking down the whole twelve dollars.
Her mother had taught her,
And she taught me.
It nearly worried me to death.
Scared I would never get the rest of the money to them.
Knowing not only would the purse not be mine
But that if I could not scrounge up the
Rest of the cash, I just lost twelve hours
Worth of babysitting six children.
I laid across your heart like a bed.
Secure, soaring through the air.
Goodbye to the linen I left back at home.
Stuck in an room.
I felt at ease.
My back falling splat into comfort.
An endless supply of sheets.
Laying in complete peace.
My every woe.
My every ache.
Thereby at the door.
There's nothing outside this moment.
Soon I will be sleep.
That's all left to do.
Snore.
A dream closer than the eye.
Sandman.
Stay where you are.
Away from me and my cache
made of heart.
I hope you don't mind that I've laid here.
Contouring to your every shape.
To lay away in this elation I have towards you.
I hope to catch more than a decent sleep.
My neck twisted left.
In a deep sleep in the contours of your heart
It’s when you don't have
the money for a hit man.
And you know something
needs to be done.
If you have a hot date
and your boss asked you
to work late.
Dial 1-800 Whoop that ass!
The whoop ass delivery Service,
We will deliver a can of whup ass
anywhere to anyone at any time
day or night,
if there wrong or right,
in any kind of weather.
Call and ask about
the wet ass whupping
for no extra charge.
For someone who needs
there Ass handed to them
Thee old fashion way.
Let us do that for you.
Dial 1-800 Whoop that ass.
On your request,
we can leave them
on their feet
or laying on the ground.
We can deliver a can of whup ass
in public or when no one's around.
Satisfaction Guaranteed
or we will tear that ass up.
If a loved one
doesn’t know how come home,
or people who get smart
with you on the phone.
Hang up and dial...
1-800 Whoop that ass.
The Whoop ass delivery Service
let’s you choose one of three sizes,
Small, (This is going to hurt)
Medium, (We're going to break something.)
and the Large. (Put them in the Hospital)
Each package comes with fightback insurance.
Just in case the subject’s tries to fight back
In which case
we will beat the snot out them.
Ladies if you want
to keep your abusive husband in line,
then keep us in mind.
Dial 1-800 Whoop that ass.
Ladies our slap happy option
comes as a back-hand service.
Where at you request.
we can just slap the piss
out of them.
slap the taste out they mouth.
Or even slap them clean
into next week.
Dial 1-800 Whoop that ass.
And men we don't discriminate,
we can return the favor for a nominal fee.
We will slap people on both sides
of the family tree.
Dial 1-800 Whoop that ass.
We take Visa, Master card, and American Express.
But don't let credit problems get in the way!
You can even put an Ass Whooping on Lay-away.
Find us online at any time. @WhoopthatAss.com
Copyright ISBN-13 978-19781188973
ISBN-10 197811897TX
As you walk through the corridors of life, its highways and by-lanes, the
back-alleys and well-beaten trails, through lush jungles or the arid scorching wilderness you pickup tidbits or sometimes gems of wisdom at the unlikely places, from the unlikely people, sometimes very much alive and present, sometimes from long dead and forgotten.
you learn from parents
and more so from peers and seers,
life teaches better.
One thing I learned from Jesus Christ is that you have to carry your own cross knowing full well that you may be crucified on this very cross – sometimes you have no choice, sometimes you have to do it for the good of the people.
Prophet Muhammad taught me that when a revelation dawns on you, embrace it zealously. If you have enough people believing in your perception, you have begun a new creed.
Moses taught me that you don’t have to tread the well-trodden path. You can cut across the wilderness and still reach the Promised Land.
Buddha taught me that a state of enlightenment can only be attained by renouncing physical and material yearnings.
Mahatma Gandhi made me see the futility of war and aggression. You can bring down a mighty empire just be a wooden staff in your hand and wearing nothing but a loin cloth.
Mother Teresa made me realize that you can live your life unselfishly, working and caring for others and still make your life a success and fulfilling.
not of the heavens
nor of any astral plane,
faith is of the heart.
Nowhere is taught the skills to live a life. You are not born with an instruction manual. No one can fix it for you if you screw it up. And you cannot return it and get an instore credit. You cannot put it on lay-away. You cannot exchange it for another if you don’t like the one you got. You just got to make it work good for you by yourself.
But these bits of wisdom comes much later—at the tether’s end of one’s life,
when we have already put too many miles on and the seats are all worn-out and the dashboard all faded and dusty. When the brakes start screeching and squealing. When the engine starts making funny noises and the radiator begins to leak…
a life-long process
salvation lies in one's self…
seek none but thyself.
Mother Earth
Mother Earth woke to find
Her light had hit the ground
She held her dyeing ember
Until it's love faded out
Which left just a shadow
She held so tenderly
That the sorrow of her loss
Became a melody
So she sang as she cried
For her love that went away
Sought herself a box
For what was left to make it's lay
Upon a walk in the wilds
She came upon a tree
Barren, all but branches
With a Leper underneath
He said "Mother Earth I know you,
I've heard your melody
Out back beyond the mountain
I have what you seek.
But see dear I'm weak
By my legs I am betrayed
Say carry me along
And your shadow love we shall lay away."
So reaching down like mother
His sickness she did bring
And together onward journeyed
Towards her own oblivion
Upon a path so well trodden
Once lay white beneath the sun
Fell fathomed into darkness
Until life and death were one
There upon a great stone
Lain for many years
Under autumns golden slumber
Of life's seasoned fallen tears
The prize of her passion
For a son lost in haze
Just a needle away from star shine
And a shadow from the grave
With Christmas time coming
It's time to call Jack
Sears needs a Santa
to get the Families back
They look for his number
It's no where to be found
They look in all the drawers
Managers buzzing all around
Then almost like magic
Who walks through the door
Sure enough it's Jack
no need to search anymore
His boots are all shiney
His beard white as snow
He looks like Santa's twin
His eyes even glow
Retail season is saved
The people coming in today
Will get to see Santa Jack
And put gifts on Lay Away
The children all love him
They don't give him a break
Poor Santa Jack has to go
His knees start to shake
He drops little Johny
Jumps over some trees
Slipping on a present
He falls down on his knees
The real Santa's watching
Down in the North Pole
A special gift for Santa Jack
This year he won't get Coal
Perhaps a red new suit
with some non slip boots
No more nasty stains
When Santa Jack gets the toots
For Carol Eastman's Christmas Contest.
I think the kids will enjoy Santa Jack.
Dedicated to my friend Jack, a jolly old soul who's never lived at the North Pole.