Long Lassie Poems

There once was a young man from Szechwan,
who thought his prick looked like a pecan.
He met Bertha Butts,			
who was hankering for nuts,		
so he gave her his pecan to chew on.
The women in my Viking village
don't...

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They called her Cookie at Animal Welfare, she had a white body with one black ear and a black spot on her upper butt. She had a friendly face and was 
pretty girl. Could not...

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Inspired by the painting "Highland Lassie" (1871) by Thomas Faed.

(Verse One; In introduction to Cailin)
Walkin' on the highways, searchin' down the byways,
Tromps a lonely figure on the Highland roads;
Peerin' from the Highdown, breezin' through the...

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Unquotable quotes: Beggars - XXX

Who said beggars cannot be choosers?

Who chooses for them the place, the moment or the people they choose to beg from; the hours of the begging day; the alms they refuse;...

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Suzie lived next door to Tom, and their families were the best of friends;
Like toffee clouds, chasing rainbows, once the blue storm wildly spends!

Tom and Susie enjoyed playing together, since they were the same age;
Like...

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Droves who flash 'brand of God' all will die, Faith or not!
Faith's not blood we can paint on the gates of our homes,
wait for Passover's promise as servant's of God -
man's death falls, a cold...

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Mitchell: The most expensive working girls employed by this establishment are what I call shielas. Class A shielas include all specimens of female physicality who were blessed to have inherited near perfect DNA, have taken...

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_____________________________________________________________

                              THE PRICE OF ADMISSION


So many...

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Dragon did a pratfall, his tail accidentally taking his Mama’s computer out.
Poor Mama’s mind, lost its’ cool, as her computer hit the floor and went out.
Withdrawal left steam coming out of her ears, as nightmares...

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His heart is with the winds
that set his spirit free,
enduring breeze that sets the sails
and guides him out to sea.

Sea rover fair with eyes as blue
as ocean’s deepest depth,
he hails the morning mist
and keenly sets...

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Blind Date

I went on a blind date, to support my best mate
Who assured me my girl would be awesome,
But the girl he admired it later transpired,
Said she'd only go out in a foursome.

So with oodles...

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Zenith University   

I am a proud graduate  
of Zenith University,  
where the quality stays on  
until the little dot  
shrinks and goes away.  

I attended that fine institution  
with Tom and Jerry,  
Heckl, Jeckl, Mickey, Minnie,  
Da?y, Donald, Daisy,  
Huey, Dewey, Louie,  
Speedy, Wile E., Gumby, Pokey,  
Yogi, Boo Boo, Dino, Chucko,  
Hobo Kelley, Lassie, Bozo,  
Betty, Barney, Bam Bam Rubble, 
Wilma, Pebbles, Fred,  
Casper, Felix, Sheri? John,  
Gentle Ben, and Mr. Ed.     

Astro, Elroy,  
Judy, George, and Jane--  
Eddie Haskell, Wally Cleaver,  
Mom and Dad and Little Beaver.    

Favorite Martian--Flying Nun,  
James Arness--smoking gun, 
Spanky and Alfalfa,  
Larry, Moe, and Curly.

Tests consisted   
of posted patterns.
To see those,  
you had to get up early  
like Jack LaLanne and Buns of Steel, 
Captain Kangaroo.  

Mid-morning classes included  
Monte Hall (quite a deal), 
Bob the Barker (not the builder). 

Allen Ludden passed the words, ...

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Emma. 

I met this replica of snow white, a day after summer. Her skin was still tanned from the burning summer sun. Her eyes glowed with a hint of twinkle within it. When she smiled,...

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Jam packed little brown suitcase 					                
Post cards along the way   					      ...

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(I'm 
an 
Indian 
lassie, 
was 
born 
in 
West 
Africa, 
(Nigeria), 
Grew 
up 
in 
South 
Africa 
(Swaziland) 
and 
currently 
live 
in 
East 
Africa. 
(Tanzania). 
So 
I 
live 
in 
Daresalam, 
near 
the 
Indian 
Ocean.)


I 
might 
be 
like...

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Because He Beats Me

                               ...

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A tale of two twins ...


Kit:	That sure was a mean swing, Dottie. You knocked it out of the park. You’re the Sultana of Swat. I love the way you ‘round the bases doing your cute...

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One lone rose tumbled from the basket,
the same as the others but set apart
All were beautiful. They congregated
in one basket, these Southern belles,
but she, with her pink cheeks, tumbled,
she’d cut her ties. She loved them,...

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Bonanza of shamrocks will soon blanket Green Acres...
where Lassie free to run across petco junction 

All across the webbed
wide esse Scott's landed wold
emerald green Trifolium
carpets harbor untold
burrows of tiny Leprechauns clover
(leaf) ways grant trifold
wishes if...

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American Bandstand, Aqua Velva Ads, Aretha Franklin, and, the Andy Griffith Show
Black lights, Bewitched, bean bag chairs, beads, Batman and the Beatles
Cleopatra, Corvairs, Corvettes, Chevelles, Captain Kangaroo, Civil Rights Movement
Dionne Warwick, Derek and the Dominoes,...

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(Written in response to the poem “Black and White.”)


Over age 40? Here’s some truth from the new generation.


Don’t get me wrong,
I love those old shows.
Classics for long 
All that and more. 
But if I may...

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Countless generations lapsed since height of Greco-Roman mythology conceived, birthed and populated vast canopy of sky and expanse of terrestrial firmament, whereat obeisant propinquity quintessentially remains stalwart this day and age as guise dolls dote...

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There was a young lassie named Heather,
Who played on the beach in hot weather,
She thought it a sin,
Just dressed in her skin,
So covered herself with three feathers.

II

Remember the beach-babe named Heather?
Who covered herself in three...

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What were you doing, alone in the woods, my John,
What were you doing out at dawn?
Why it hasn't rained for ages now,
So many failed crops, and fields you must plough.
Your dirty clothes are all so...

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Part I.    
The organized church, whether Catholic or not, 
Probably kills more people's faith than Satan.
Its grand pomp and circumstance all 'tommy rot, '
And designed solely to up ‘the gate' brought in.

The...

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