Long Lacerated Poems
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crushed at rock bottom he gathered the fragments of descent
slow motion agony that started at a plateau of deluded deceit
free falling sadness spiraling out of control beyond fast repair
the black dog on his shoulder had survived the fall and barked
another round of sadness an insurmountable sorrow cheered on
‘you are useless and even void and oblivion are having a laugh’
a tunnel with no light and the canary asphyxiated in the mine shaft
another panic attack unable to ease the landing of a scarred mind
scared and confused he gathered the pieces and stabbing shards
with broken bones and un-abating accusations he collected his guilt
fears and shame about yet another defeat at the foundation of evil
demons and miserable clairvoyants spoke in bifurcated obsessions
possessed by the mother of all depressions he reached for a glimmer
of hope he searched for a message from science deities and reason
yet unable to guide his emotions all efforts crashed without rescue
the rope had twisted once more and he dangled helpless face down
just enough slack to disfigure his angry face that featured disgust
and yet as the blood flooded his brain he surrendered his objections
one final attempt and he severed the noose with the open fracture of
the razor sharp dislocation sticking out just below the palm of his hand
with a further snap of his wrist and life line he surrendered lost dreams
if life gave you hemlock but the vessel had cracked on the impact
of the smash and grab of lifeless cycle of disassociated insanity he
resolved to drink his own blood and call upon autoimmune response
after all the medication had been useless and hours on Freud’s couch
had only imprinted more festering pressure sores on purulent skin
cognitive explorations had only dragged him further down self-denial
religion mantras and science had failed to invoke sanity and healing
levitation would not emerge when he fell from the edge of madness
the cross lay in pieces and nails had lacerated his heart and resolve
just when he felt the pulse getting weaker and with delirious gaze
he succumbed to a last ditch attempt to reassemble a piece of his soul
wrote an ultimate will on the wall and vowed to hand over let go and live
15th June 2020
With the melodic cadence of my fervent heart,
pulsating with the charming tinsels of mesmeric night,
gleamed my love for you with the enticing tinge,
suffused with the sequins of the argentine moon.
I felt in a trance the sweet touch so tempting
of your captivating charisma intangible,
but you drifted away from my engrossed perception,
like the chromatic cloud wafting in the twilight sky.
In the blooming valley of flowers my cataract heart
cascaded as a stream of embedded melted emotions
through the turquoise course of lingering longing,
and on the plateau of yearning I wandered beguiled.
From the ebony edge of the fallen gloomy night
the storm clouds surged with blades of shearing pain,
lacerated the lilting facade of the sky, I called my heart,
where the shards of dream sank in the tears of despair.
Losing the desire in the debris of the broken heart,
I sauntered sullen to the shore of silent sorrow.
My infatuation swirled away like dislodged surly sands
in the remote time’s tide when I thought you were mine.
The transient trajectory flame of devoured desire
furrowed in my marooned mind a blazing trail of longing.
I couldn’t trace entranced the track of the spurting star,
it drifted away like your love, for I didn’t dream enough.
From the ebony edge of the opaque night of despair
storm clouds surged with thunders of tearing strife,
splintered my remnant dreams dispersed in debris,
and I then realized my heart couldn’t yearn enough.
The sound of your voice in the avid air of my yearning
echoed with melody in the void of my lonely heart.
How complete I was as it delighted me to the core
to get the feeling of togetherness, I couldn’t let you know.
When you left tracing the trail of the melting mirage,
I felt deserted like the desolate sands in the dry dune.
My pent-up words ‘I need you’ remained sadly unsaid,
floated way in the whirlwind of sandstorm to oblivion.
Your essence stays with me as an indelible image,
fused with the onyx motif of the abyss in my heart.
I’ll light there a million candles of love for you,
so, you’ll find the lost way to return, and be mine, forever.
The Tribute To Jennifer
In a small church on a hill, there are a group of people standing
in silence as they say goodbye to a loved one, who they will all miss.
We will start this tale from the beginning, it was nearing Christmas
And Jennifer and her friends were partying at her house, everything
was going fine, the turkey in the oven and the stockings set for Santa's
Visit, the mother and father went out, so they could all have a good time
As the evening progressed Jimmy, Jennifer's boyfriend said they needed
Some more drinks, so he wanted Jennifer to come with him to the bottle
Shop, she decided to go with him while the rest of the crowd partied on.
They got in the car and travelled down the road about two kilometres
As they were approaching the traffic lights, a car pulls alongside them
Jimmy was an impulsive type who loved the challenge to a road race,
But they were both unaware what was to happen next, as the intruding
Car pushes through the lights, they both excellerate into the night by
Now they were speeding around 80kph, they are followed by a police car
So they both go faster, the intruder flees to the right while Jimmy tries
To stop but the brakes fail, causing the car to vere off the road crashing
Into a light pole, Jimmy's face is lacerated, but when he looks towards
Jennifer, she is badly hurt, the policeman calls for an ambulance to take
His girlfriend to hospital, he is taken to the police station to make a
Statement and to later see his girlfriend at the hospital, however the
Telephone rings to tell Jimmy that Jennifer had passed away, Jimmy was
Found to have a large blood alcohol reading and was arrested; they
Let Jimmy out to go to Jennifer's funeral, Jimmy felt so guilty about
What he had done, he has lost his wonderful girlfriend over being so
Foolish while driving the car, his Christmas was blackened and he would
Never forgive himself for what he had done, on the day of the funeral
He broke down into tears along with his family and friends as they all
Left the cemetary in the church, very saddened at the loss of Jennifer.
This is her story and the moral to it is to never drink and always
Be responsible when you are driving a car, this is the tribute to Jennifer.
I'm here because.....
I need you to believe in me
You...Yes, YOU!
My fellow poet..
You who understands
my love for words and their nuances
denotations, but even more...their connotations
their play and interplay of emotions
I need you to believe in me
believe in my voice
my selection and word choice
believe that I can make a change
with my catalytic composition of rhyme
in this present time
when the world is in pain
when there is so much to gain
by the prophetic cry of a poet in the wildness
I need you to believe in me
I'm here because...
I need you to empathize with me
you who sees my words dripping
the blood of my lacerated heart
I'm incomplete
scarred
I'm scared
I'm holding on by one last thread
at times overcome by dread
life is hard
I need you to empathize with me
to write a little word
that will lift my heart
and caress my soul
with the balm of poetic love
friendship's bandage
Cover me....
I need your empathy
I'm here because...
I need community
others don't understand
this is not just a pastime
a cute little way to occupy my time
It's my heart and soul
my ever present dream...my goal
to live on when I'm gone
in some remembered little song
that you helped we write along
I need community
I need the you and the me
In the communal dance of poetry
They don't see
what words mean
to you
to me
I'm here because...
I need your wisdom
I fall short
I see only within my vision
my periphery
I cannot keep in store
all the mysteries and more
you bring wisdom daily to me
a feast for my hungry mind
to relish all the truth I find
your wisdom nourishes me
I bloom into what I'm meant to be:
a writer of sincerity
I'm here because....
When I'm not
I'm so incomplete
the missing parts of me
are here....
they live in my lines
they breathe in your rhymes
you write; I read
I write; you read
and life is born
and I am
whole...
I'm here because....
I belong
Here are people who understand
who help me to stand
who lend me a hand
I'm part of a band
of people like me
who taste the ecstasy
of a life that is blessed
by sweet
poetry....
For Jerry's Contest (Why are You Here)
December 30, 2015
I heard their call in the far land
But I will not respond
Their deeds I will not look at before rising
Their accusations and murmurs however whack me in the face
And my tears become unstoppable
Is it my fault that I know not my father?
A first son born into a royal home
But today I walk among our people as an outcast
I am a stranger
With no father’s blessing or a mother’s love
Is it my fault I come by night?
To the home of my father
I come by night because I am ashamed
Ashamed because I am disowned
Disowned because I am despised
Despised because I am abused
It is not my fault I know not my mother’s prime mate
When I walk among our people I am teased
Teased because I have no father’s blessing
They toot all day, enquiring
‘’But where is his father?’’
Answers always arrive at my door post
‘’My father is dead and left me with no blessings’’
But I know he lives somewhere in the next village
Papa, come and shower your blessings on me
As a child is born and loved
Papa, come and kiss me
As a child is accepted by his own people
For in your absence
I was humiliated, lacerated and castigated by your own people
How many sleepless night I have encountered
When they say there goes the outcast
But papa, come and shower your blessings on me
As a child is born and loved
Papa, come and kiss me
As a child is accepted by his own people
For I am your child and a son of this village
When the ceremony has come
For the sons to recount their father’s achievement
And pride themselves with their father’s glories
Tears filled my eyes
For my face drenched in pool of tears
And my mind enquire
‘’Where is your father’s glory’’
And how should I know
I am an out cast
Hated and despised by his own people
Like a stranger
Like an uninvited guest
Papa, come and wipe the tears on my face
For your arm is all I crave for.
Nii- Ayi Solomon
Continued from Part 1
The trees, they hang in time and space around me –
trees, which in time before had swayed,
so gently tugged by ocean breezes,
trees, which in time before were lightly lit
with emerald tinted leaves,
trees, which in time before had reached to space above
with twisted tangled fingers,
grasping fingers,
fingers drenched with golden tears
shed by the Mighty Eye.
The trees, they hang in space and time,
benumbed and frozen motionless around me
chilled with rooted premonitions of the void,
their branches clutching darkness
and their leaves foreboding doom.
The muted winds begin to whisper tales
of many frightened things,
which, with mournful apprehension
have hunkered down behind the haze
and ceased their joyful play.
And all the while dank shadows gaily dance
a dismal dance,
for their time is soon to come.
The fitful shore lies suddenly still.
Unfeeling stones and hollow shells,
are paused a little,
stalled,
and dropped haphazardly,
midst their mindless random journey,
now abandoned by the sea,
for fickle waves have slipped away
to greet a falling prey.
And as the Mighty Eye droops lower,
laminated molten lips
are pursed and pucker higher,
sucking in the sky.
Within a trice the Mighty Eye
submits and squints, distended red,
perhaps tormented by fantastic thoughts
of imminent demise,
or else of being lashed beneath a lid
of distant faithless waves.
And as her dying flash dissolves,
two lurid lips arise,
three lusty lips -
a thousand parted limpid lips
which asudden,
though with little haste,
consume the Mighty Eye.
EPILOGUE
The trees are now but lurking shades
amongst the murky shadows.
Relentless fog slips slowly by -
her floating tongues drip silence
as they slink like snakes in stealth nearby.
The lacerated faithless lips have once again returned
to kiss the vacant vapid shores
in a brief eclipse of time.
END
Form:
They stand together
Soldiers young and old
As we sit down beside them
Their stories unfold
Tell me son
What happened to you
Please take your time
I wish to hear you through
I was out on patrol
Looking for improvised devices
Their made of plastic now
For modern sacrifices
But this one was different
It was set on remote
Triggered at distance
As the enemy gloat
Catapulted, bleeding
As i land on the sand
My face lacerated
As are my hands
My left hand has gone
As are my eyes
My emotions are drained
I can no longer cry
I am flown home
To Edwards Air Base
Not the way i left
A new tomorrow i face
My brave young son
I shall cry for you
Yes tomorrow is new
But we will see it through
As he wipes his tears
His son says to his father
Tell me your story again
So my thoughts again gather
Well it was so long ago
And although i am old
The horrors of wars
Should always be told
It was the 6th of June
1944
The day the war had turned
And what we fought for
I was one of thousands
As we hit the beaches
Under heavy fire
Bodies bleeding, bodies bleached
After being pinned down for hours
We finally made a breakthrough
Their lines broken
Our determination pursued
Our objective, Bayeux
To cut off the road to Caen
Re-assemble and group
As we mean to go on
We were on the outskirts
As a 109E attacked
My platoon was strafed
As its bullets impact
I was hit three times
In my legs and chest
Shipped back home
Asking why i was blessed
After the war
In the Army i stayed
As an injury councillor
For other wars have been played
Father and son stood together
Hugged for tomorrow
Yes, there will be more wars
And what they bring is sorrow
http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/war-6.php
The air is open-ended,
The wind sends a whisper through my spinal cord at lightning speed
Acres upon acres of oceanic scenery plunging itself into my irises
The horizon is as wide as the Milky Way
You can see where the opaque waters begin to blend with the stubborn clouds
As they cling to the starless sky,
Refusing to budge,
No matter how much the wind demands of them
My vision wanders down to my feet,
Bare,
And planting themselves into the solid ledge I’m standing on
Exactly one foot ahead of me,
A precipitous drop
Into a vast, daunting ocean
An unforgiving terrain
Devoid of all color,
Infected by a mass of sediments
The sound of its jaws clasping onto its invisible prey,
Satiating its endless desire
Left a sharp ringing in the tubes of my ears
I’m fossilized in my place,
But something is urging me to march,
Urging me to risk it all,
But what else do I have?
I tear my heel bone off of the freezing ground
Like a bandaid off of a freshly lacerated wound,
Mechanizing my aching joints
As I hover five dangling toes over an abyss of demented liquids
I don’t need to inhale,
The pulsating breeze is doing that for me
I take one final look upon my fate,
Block my vision with the walls of my eyelids,
And fall…
Fall like an Autumn leaf…
Stopping at times,
As if time were unsure,
Then resuming my rapid descent
And all at once, the water hits me,
Rushing up from my achilles heel
To the last towering hair follicle upon my head
Electrifying every nerve in my body,
Sending my heart into overdrive
The water floods into my body,
Coursing down my throat,
Pervading my lungs like a proletariat of worker bees
Elevating itself into my brain
Splitting it in half,
And examining it,
Judging it,
Bringing the fears of my subconscious
From a blank page into reality
I never wanted this
Nobody wants this,
But sometimes I just can't part the waves of a Lithium Sea
though I yam Caucasian,
tis rightful to honor that most bitter
racist genocidal crime
nonetheless ovation qua
quintessential significant contribution
vis a vis that doth litter
anonymous multitudinous peoples
many unknown dark skinned souls
bravely fought as non quitter
with melanin so coon sitter
this asthma feeble attempt
made to mind of literate
parent, guardian or sitter
adorn aye rhythmically twitter
to *****Sapiens with Negroid color
who, despite being human bondage
managed to adorn
worthy contributions to society,
though an American (though not so proud)
and civilization since time immemorial
hence, I wanna pay poetic homage
to persons born
akin to diversity exemplifying gamut
analogous to Indian corn
debased brutally and forlorn
and raised in cornucopia horn
of plenty with rare serf tenderness
whipped by wicked task masters
from the crack of morn,
aye cannot fathom why
a great proportion of humanity
must struggle on scraps of subsistence
viz with fifty plus shades of chocolate
vile shamefully opprobrious sworn
vengeance toward those
via heroic efforts escaped,
page number 2
manacled, tortured, et cetera history
as slaves an existence
until...pacified family dislocated
sans rent asunder, ripped and torn.
Once a proud family akin to Brady
bunch, now brutally, nasty
and short lived poorly destitute
(case in point) like Haiti -
once a nation extant with cultural finery
insidiously raped "Lady"
lacerated odiously robbing
unique peoples as owners didst slay
practically naked "Primates"
encaged like wild animals in zoos
culturally robbed while
abhorrently marched in ones and twos
shredded souls without shoes
(analogous to persecuted Jews)
of singular ambition to break shackles
though tightly fused
to life as they chose.
Saša Milivojev
WELTSCHMERZ ("WORLD PAIN") - THE PAIN OF THE WORLD
In this century withal
Rivers of blood still flow
Bombs echo
Children are being killed
Heads are being severed
Millions are starving
Diseases are devouring
And you are singing
The gallows are trembling
In the valley of the fallen
In the salty tears
With our putrescent sores
We fall prey to the crows
Our festering entrails
For the starving wolves
A shattered house
Little boy is weeping
Over the body of his Father
That forever now is sleeping
Schools Temples and bridges bleeding
bloodstained wedding guests are screaming
Little white coffins
Maternal howls
Above Uranus
Hear the painful growls
Delirious poets are prattling
And not a word are you uttering
They blinded you
When they raped your daughter
Strangled ‘er with the wire
They abducted your brothers
Tortured in the cellar
Shattered their fingers
With ferrous clubs
With a saw agape their skulls
Their legs wagons lacerated
Their limbs with machete dissected
Flayed the skin of their backs
Dumpers of corpses
Bulldozers to the grave consigned
Roads run over their bones in cement confined
Bodies filled the bottomless well over the brim
Come closer
Look within
The infinite darkness of the abyss
To hear the silence of the universe
A spark is glistening in an innocent eye
Children are helplessly falling to the dust
Venomous saliva dripping from their mouth
As their rosy intumescent faces bust
In their closing prayer
Reverends to a cross immured
Laughing at the stake they burned
Tender ivory cherubs
Flew away like a flock of birds
Rip my heart out from my chest
As I am unsleeping
May your golden ship catch wind away from shore
To raise your glass of blood once more
As you feast your eyes in silence
Saša Milivojev
Translated by Ljubica Yentl Tinska
visit: www.sasamilivojev.com