Long Impale Poems
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The Truth is the Gift of Gods Word
for it's understanding the habitation has stirred
softly upon spirit we listen to it's call
comprehension to it's voice like a seed is small
Can you understand the wise man's riddle
apprehend interpretation the narratives trail
from beginning to end surround the middle
without understanding it's Truth you may fail
Upon the Truth are your heavens fixed
the hearing upon earth with lies are mixed
to many have reached a state of complacency
the cares of this life has choked ability
You lead upon paths unknown
a flight those having wings have flown
I tell you upon the rise of each day
that you must lead and show us the way
Oh Shepherd like a lamb you guide me
for I am lost to the flock without thee
My Lord and my God you have called us out
faith in you but confidence in self do doubt
With every gesture you affirm the way
yet evermore before me do my sins lay
I look around upon those I do see
whose lives are worth much more than me
The seventh day Jehovah has blessed
where mankind will enter into his rest
abundance of joy will fill the earth
as Gods Kingdom has given birth
The fruit of her labor is worldwide
she will wipe the tears her children have cried
Gods woman has brought forth Life
she will train the children remove their strife
You are God from the womb of my mother
have preserved me from violence of brother
your handmaiden as captive I serve
given more than anyone here deserve
I listen to the music of your call
understand I grace given since fall
for to live is Christ and to die gain
and within the hand of your Love remain
Forsake me not when I reach that hour
frail woman in mankind has not power
give me courage so I don't therein cower
for I have beheld the future from your tower
Oh my gentle Lord your path holds no discord
our seas turned to glass when we do as asked
neath your wisdom do kneel as truth you reveal
all thinking given you and insight given true
Hold me close and in your arms
for hear I do the trumpets alarms
you have signified my death
for those you love I give my breath
Hold my hand on the path you take
for I am weak and easily brake
a thing that is soft and frail
for those you love like Lord impale
Now I know the path to you
by example your loved showed true
willing I am to give you my life
like anointed Son did for wife
source JOHN 3:16 Romans 12:1-2
COPYRIGHT © 2009 C Michael Miller
Just because I'm working on my mental health
Doesn't mean I think I'm better than a person who chooses to stay unwell
It just means
I'm working on my internal dialog daily, and I'm not perfect, at the very least, well.
I'm working on making myself content with knowing the past versions of myself
For instance,
Today, I had to set a 5-minute timer to allow myself to wallow in my own guilt surrounding yesterday's choices
This my sweet little psyche always chooses to think and ruminate on during the worst times and hours of the following day
90% dramatized, I guess I should say
Apparently, I really need to feel that sharp impale during the 5 minutes of living today's moments with yesterday's guilt and shame, during
that timeout period
I chose to take today with yesterday's pain that is actually 10% real
This I realize when I am out of my anxiety driven panic state because
let's face it, when we're in it
Time's just an illusion; the world is ending and
The sky is falling yet still
I am stopping to focus on
Yesterday's spilled milk? Haha
Guilt...
I hate you
You make me lose moments in days
Focusing on hours you already claimed
To re-live feelings that were derived from
False impersonations of the characters those
past versions of me played
Why the heck am I still walking onto this unappealing, applaud lacking stage
Only to draw center to all things I wished I could reclaim
Guilt, you are the main villain in this play
Still, you, too, have a significant role to play
So yeah, I'm working daily on myself
The thing is guilt, regret, and shame are just reoccurring roles
I sometimes get in costume to play and recreate, for those 5-minute timeouts I need to take
In those moments, I feel unwell
I think it's a way to keep me regulated and on the forever path to improving wellness within myself
It's more a timed woe is me opportunity
As I still have to take a bow out and do a few oh hell no's
To save my sanity
Born with a blinding veil
Learned
Over time, to be fearful
When life suddenly blew your sail
Deterring us off course
Learning how to fail
Made without worry
Judgment, or hate
In the beginning
Our soil was pure, so growth
Of love should take
But no, we littered soil with the dead
To grow nothingness in place, instead
We learn to be fearful of
Inevitable change
We are expected to not expect
We fight internal wars
that they tell us
are all in our heads
Sure
But the damage I am doing
Internally
is quite noticeable
Externally
In past years, the pain I felt
Was not an illusion
A PhD may argue this point with me
But I can tell you first hand arguably,
I didn't make up my breath, shortening air for me
Or my heart slowing down
To a nearly halted beat
No
it's real , and over time
Unknowingly, that protectant veil
Flew off of me
The one I came into this world with
That was made to shield me
But if I hid behind
That veil
I would never have come to a conclusion of my own
About just letting go and
blowing with the winds sail
Finding out love hurts
If you are lucky enough
To take a hearts impale
People come and go
Like stories and old tales
Of journeys across oceans to
Destinations that were anywhere
We learn that each moment is connected to a part of us
On our timeline somewhere
Each past caterpillar of ourselves that we cocoon from
Is a step closer to the butterfly
Our true selves will emerge from
Your sullen muted whispers,
wafting in this dank whiskey inn,
are falling on wide-open ears, except,
your mousey annoying voice lacerates my brain
with claws that rip and tear and impale,
yet, I desire more of this, here
with these wet unhappy sots,
lost forever like me,
on a dark numbing cloud,
as it floats aimless to the endless east,
leeward like a restless barge,
netting and trapping more broken souls,
more reluctant denizens, more
lodgers for the vacant harbor inns,
and the laurel-shaded graveyards.
But we are different than they, you and I.
We know when to stop talking,
and start nodding.
“Miss, could you speak up, I can’t hear you.”
The din of these dozens of voices here,
amongst these dancing grabbing fools,
are drowning out your sad pleadings.
But I can taste your sadness, and your
self-realization of a life worth nothing.
“I’m lost and don’t know where to turn.”
Then, in the neon darkness,
the staid barkeep places a covered porcelain dish
on our corner table, by the exit sign,
brimming and teeming furiously
with steamed remonstrances of insatiable fear.
“You should see me in the morning,” she says,
“Certainly not now, when it is the end of day,”
when night has ascended its ego curtain,
and a thousand imperfections are revealed.
“No, not now!”
"But my dear," I say, with eyes screwed forward,
“You are perfect in the twilight time,"
this now time, as we sit here in the back booth,
sipping these strong white whales.
“No! you fool of a man!”she says,
“I am not perfect enough!”
Lost in a world of regrets and dejection
Struggling for an escape
But I am shackled between a rock and a hard place
With no key in sight and no help coming my way
I am trapped.
Flung into a world that hates me but needs me
A world with its foot on my neck
The more I struggle, the more the diseased, putrid-smelling member
Crushes nearly the life out of me
I am trapped.
The open road to nowhere calls me to liberation
But responsibility and maturity have
Placed a Denver boot on my golden chariot
And have stolen the reigns of my white stallion
I am trapped.
A sword falls before my feet
With the balm of relief at its tip
Beckoning me to impale
My already lifeless body
Onto its medicine
But God and hellfire
Prevent my eager hands from
Injecting my body with its medicine
I am trapped.
What did I do to be plunged
Into this perpetual prison?
The bars to my cell
Are far too solid to destroy
To whom can I cry out to
And how can I know they can hear me?
Who is able and willing
To rescue this damoiseau in distress
And how long must I wait?
How long my I hang my harp on a willow tree
And weep?
How long will it be
Until I am free?
I am trapped…
I am trapped…
I am trapped.
7/17/17
Working in nature or inside a room
Underneath the sun and moon
During morning, night and afternoon
Hearing and playing a different tune
Near and far from plants that died or are still in bloom
Above and below any kind of tomb
Not a step too soon
Go ahead and assume
But It could lead to your doom
If you want to be a buffoon
I'll impale you with tremendous force from a harpoon
Toss you into a deep lagoon
Or beneath a dune
Involved in slander
With delusions of grandeur
Just so that your pockets could get fatter
You killed innocent lives and caused a disaster
Now I'm going to do the same to you, turning you into a cadaver
Because it feels fitting taking matters
Into my owns hands, regarding threats and hazards
The tale of the sinister Prime Minister of Israel
Latest eruption but your corruption will not avail
Wiles and guile on trial as does rile and defile
Knows if loses his job..without fail going to jail
Beyond the pale conned so can derail & impale
With war crimes of such scale no comeback trail
Lebanon carry on in his coffin will be the final nail
Political suicide Persian incursion Gaza genocide
Should be tried lied about Iran as folks fried died
Benjy the truth denied said plied with Israeli pride
Ghoulish prankster & foolish gangster can't hide
Missiles flied but hard as he's tried end of the ride
All did begin with Benjamin chagrin making a din
But his entire liar empire on fire torched from within
Every debauched sin held to account no more spin
No matter colour of skin Zionist zealot plot must bin
Burn Benjy burn return to concern about kindred & kin
The Netanyahu retinue in full view cannot continue
What will he do well facts & pacts will skew & slew
Vicious acts hate does imbue pernicious plans pursue
Will still spew discerning they're now turning the screw
Critics form a queue too late your fate coming for you
Will rue the wars he does renew well let him fret and stew
Always biffing and tiffing like he's been sniffing some glue
Because boo hoo after another boo-boo you're in poo
Phew and about time too..
Into the deep i shall descend and be no more...
Like a vanishing smoke into the skies,
My shadow will evaporate and never be seen.
On that day, the sun will rise to numb your hearts,
And set with your thoughts polluted with grief.
The leaking tears of my absence will impale your emotions
For without my presence, your life will be the same no more
I will, with peace land on the bed of my forefathers
Not as loud as i came but as silent as peace itself...
And like rubbish into the bin,
You will dump and abandon me into the deep
Where the roots of the grass will be naurished by my melting flesh and blood.
Could I take love and push it out the door
Make it to die and breathe of life no more
Could I take love and with a spear impale
To make it breathe it’s last, I would not fail
Could passion be personified I’d try
To beat and torment, then I’d make it die
Desire would be next my wrath to taste
I'd murder it for what it’s laid to waste
I would inflict the cruelest agony
For what imposters these have done to me
I’d close my ears to cries of mercy made
Until I bury them and turn the spade
For they have only gifted grief and pain
And clothed my heart in shrouds of the insane
Eileen
Bitter sweet is the song of love
a quivering leaf in the wind floating
twisting turning in blazing hues of red
spiralling down kissing the earth a promise sent
to the heart that loves.
As the violin bow against its strings enthralls
melting the stoutest heart stirring emotions buried deep
inside the nightingale sings its final song softly sweetly
into the heart that loves.
Cupid's bow straight and sure does not the heart impale
touching only the outer wall while love encompasses all
No splinters here of hate or envy no evil seed shall grow
only caring buds blossom here
deep in the heart that loves.