Long Idiot Poems
Long Idiot Poems. Below are the most popular long Idiot by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Idiot poems by poem length and keyword.
There's a grocery chain in Canada
Known by the name of Loblaw's
That in itself isn't anything special
Till owners named their son after grandpa
Their poor son was blessed by his parents
Didn't think very hard these Loblaws
Baptized their son Robert that's silly
Bob Loblaw, blah blah blah!
Like someone is incessantly babbling on
Making absolutely totally no sense
Bob Loblaw is quite an intelligent man
Bob Loblaw, blah blah blah!
His name makes him sound like a total idiot
When introducing himself to a newbie
Hard as he tries to pronounce each syllable
Can't say it without sounding goofy
Poor Bob will take his name to the grave
Can you see the inscription on his headstone?
How can anyone be sombre while visiting
Imagine how it sounds on the telephone...
Hello, this is Bob Loblaw, blah blah blah!
(alternately titled: lion eyes hide sharp claws
unless made irate, then yours truly
bares his sharp talons
on all of mine faux pas).
Aye attest tubby reincarnated
from one male Russian Blue
species Felis silvestris catus
named Morris if that gives a clue,
and during my fuzzy past
hence, asthma “Cats Cradle”
segued into kitten hood
fur hum lee established
type cats as (tin pan) alley cat,
a rather litter boxed gritty debut
t'wood become (later in life) tabby
quick as greased lightning
snatching in the air,
when tender vittles flew,
technically got fired (acquiring
appropriate pet nicknames)
as fame (like a bushy cat tail) grew
viz perfect back up crooner
for “Cat Stevens”,
or lead singer for
the "Stray Cats" oddly
coupled, featured, and
incorporated with the guru
Horton Hears A Hoo,
yes him Elephant resembling
a humungous mandrake
from the, "Animals,"
whose body heat could
easily melt an igloo,
whereby Eskimos accepted charity from
Korean philanthropists named Joo
(founders of Palaces for Pachyderms),
these lumbering creatures possessed
an exemplary photographic memory
(rivaling that of the amazing
deceased idiot savant
Kim Peek) knew
practically every detail
incorporating trunk hated lines
(and could track missing lynx),
when felines shared common ancestor
but,...such petty files would most likely boar
and go way off course, and hence
I will shy away being extempore
favoring a deliberate fore
ray padding around basically ignore
ring any rhyme or reason
suddenly ending this persiflage,
and thence to thee bon jour.
Les Miserable
I walked and walked down a steep ravine and came across
a village has forgotten by time by a road that evaded dwellings
A track not trodden among boulders and roofs made of canes.
skinny women with empty breasts sat on the bough of trees
waiting for someone to enter their loss of love
While telling their idiot children in the wet grass to shut up
Oh, crying stones free us from the untidy domestic wilderness
where dogs are too indifferent to muster barks.
Under flat stones, the men are hiding the emptiness of the
existence too much to bear now that the vines take no berry
On this day that has no time, but the endlessness of the gone
Cabbage patch, yellow chickens looking for worms before
the children do because they are hungry too.
Their New Regime
When I read what the high and mighty say
they come across as having no understanding
how the lesser people see the world
An overprivileged person called JFK. j
told us that the Palestinian people were
overrepresented on the world's stage, and that
Israel had offered to give the people
of Gaza greenhouse so they would become
self-sustainable growing their own tomatoes
To his amazement, Hamas turned down this
offer, but insisted on becoming a state that
that included the West Bank and East Jerusalem
This person called JFK, senior didn't grasp this
this simple wish, but continued defending Israel
who only wanted the best for the Gaza people
except for freedom
This man JFK, je who has been tasked to control
the health service of the USA is an eccentric
amateur, he is an idiot savant; we must not give
him to power to potentially kill millions of people
My favourite type of books are mysteries,
Not romance, comedy or biographical histories.
So when Rick Castle on my t.v. first appeared
His character to me was already endeared.
I am fixated with his personal appeal.
He is just drop-dead sexy and I truly feel
That Beckett is an idiot if she cannot see
That a perfect match for her he would be.
So faithfully each Monday night I tune in
To see if Beckett's heart he's managed to win,
And if by the end of the season she will realize
The affection for her that I see in his eyes.
The mysteries they solve together each and every week,
Interesting as they are, still aren't the shows peak.
For the peak is the chemistry between this pair
And I truly hope "Castle" will remain long on the air.
Playing poem-making today. Twisting my brains into position.
They are resisting in no way, realizing grown up Caren is in charge here.
I start a little gorilla missive.
It is going along nicely, and I am humming the rhythm.
Pleased with myself.
Suddenly two of my childhood dendrites grab it, throwing roller skates on it.
They turn my darling purple gorilla into a Scottish Eunuch who is running from a custard-pie shop owner.
“No, no, no,” I yell. “WHOA! STOP! SLOW DOWN! QUIT THAT!”
I am furious.
I have no idea how to spell Eunuch.
Look it up, stupid! One of them yells.
Yes, idiot, look it up, another dendrite hollers.
They giggle, and I watch them give each other a high-five,
They think they are in charge again.
But they are not!
These are two of my most
Un-favorite bullying, internal
Childhood voices.
I recognize them as Chip and Dale.
Extremely annoyed, I
Throw my pen and tear up my computer.
I can feel myself screaming internally.
My heart is racing.
Thank goodness I have matured.
So many voices.
Competing
for Real Estate
in my head.
“You’ll always be a loser”
“He’s smarter.”
“She’s better than you.”
“Why are you so stupid.”
“You’ll never amount to anything.”
“No one wants you.”
“Wait”
“Stop!”
“Don’t listen to them.”
“You deserve to be happy.”
“You’re lovable.”
“DUMMY!”
“Idiot!”
“Those voices are lying to you.”
“You’ve come so far.”
You’ve got this.”
“You have so much to offer.”
Sometimes,
I can push the bad voices
deep down inside.
I put a cork in it,
place glittering gold foil on top to make it pretty.
I install a wire cage around my neck
so my cork doesn’t pop.
The bubbles are kept at bay
year after year.
I’m both transparent and contained,
trying to decide if I’m ready,
Am I properly aged?
Is this my special occasion?
“They don’t want you.”
Self doubt whispers from deep within me.
Shame for what was done to me.
A gentle hand caresses my neck.
“You are ready.”
“Champagne must be shared!”
“Okay, I trust you.
Please don’t shake me,
I’ve already been shook,
shaken to my core.
Open me slowly,
pour me into crystal flutes.
Let me sparkle,
shine sunlight through me.
Smell my essence,
let me tickle your nose.
Feel my notes on your tongue.
Everything I have ever been
presented for your pleasure.
Only to be shared with a precious few.
The ones who love me.
The ones who spoke kind words into my soul.
My flavour, like me, is complicated.
Yes, I can be intoxicating.
So please drink me with care.”
Oh man, oh stupid moron twerp,
how could you be so bigoted and intolerant?
For I too saw her every blessed night
dancing in the glade, a youthful dance,
moon rays shining through dark boughs,
as she pirouetted, unshod and skimpily dressed,
deep in the dark green forest,
where no song birds trilled.
She delighted in her freedom,
she asked no one for help,
her food was all that she could find,
from the hedges and the trees.
Wild apples, uncultivated mushrooms,
yummy blackberries, cranberries and hazelnuts,
all depending on the season.
And although emaciated, she was strong,
dancing to the moon, in a silent interlude.
Until some idiot decided she was mad,
others agreed, and in an asylum she was sent:
Only to die. Oh stupid feathered brained man!
The poison parrot is repulsed by me, hates my art, laughs at my poems.
sneers when I enter my imaginary world, pokes fun at it.
She throws roadblocks into my mood zone,
destroys my great ideas as fast as they enter my dendrite alley.
You think you are something! Ha! She laughs. You are less than nothing.
No one will like that. It is too sassy, too bright, too snotty, too tall, too snarly.
She snips away at me, chopping little pieces off, as I try not to cry.
You are an idiot! She yells at me, her favorite pastime.
Poison Parrot managed to hold me down, away from myself, for years.
She held me hostage in a prison I helped her build; I cowered in a scared way.
Until I met Savior Boy. Savior Boy did not know about Poison Parrot, for when
I was around him, I was confident, witty, sassy, fun,
out-going and memorably lovely.
He let me do his homework, and he received good grades,
praising me to high heaven.
The closer we became. the more self-assured I became,
assertive genius oozed out of me.
Poison Parrot was fearful now, she saw she was losing her grip.
She began yelling louder than ever.
“You are an idiot! You are worthless! You are a loser!”
I stopped hearing her. Savior Boy’s love and respect helped me
to clip her wings, and tape her beak.
By the time our children arrived, I had re-invented my self-talk.
I was now being talked to by Sophie,
a dynamic, self-assured, marvelous pixie queen who
believed in herself, and everyone else.
I released Poison Parrot and let her limp away,
saving no face at all, after Sophie arrived.
Plucking the Poison Parrot Number 156
Written: 1-6-2019 Sponsor: Maureen McGreavy
Deffy Daffinitions (Monoku series)
inflation: the thing that makes balloons bigger and candy bars smaller
irony: when obnoxious online bullies post "your a idiot"
jury: twelve people chosen to decide which side has the best lawyer
shin: an inexpensive device for finding furniture in the dark
pediatrics: comforting the parents till nature cures the illness
golfing: getting sunburnt and bored while failing your task at great expense
vitamin: what you are supposed to do when neighbors ring your doorbell
#3 attributable to Robert Frost, all others found online and converted to monoku form by yours truly.