Long Handily Poems

Rumors
How we arrived at where we are
By Franklin Price
05/03/2020

By now you've heard the rumors
How Covid-19 came to Earth
How it did not come here naturally 
How Wuhan, China gave it birth

Maybe aided by our government
To make...

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Lost dexterity since fingers tap away at qwerty keyboard...

since being a student in grade, junior and high school
analogous to geometry proof how lack of use proves
quite aware that finger muscles atrophied
veering off on a tangent...

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Vexation at self - regarding avoidable altercation...

Today May 12th, 2021
at Royersford (Pennsylvania) LIDL,
when spouse stepped into checkout line
(minus her horse drawn grocery cart -
pushed courtesy yours truly).

While passively standing stock still
I (think Stonewall Jackson)
let scenario...

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Fraught With IBS Irritable Bowel Syndrome...

today – late morning of November 4th 2022
sudden onset experienced whereby
whooshing waste naturally flushed out
ala mine body electric performed colonoscopy
diarrheal gangbuster instigated
maybe Machiavellian microbe
with powerful rectal surge
analogous to invisible plunger
forcing...

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When vitamin and medication bottles became plaything of the missus

Mental health of yours truly
heavily reliant upon one selective serotonin
reuptake inhibitor named fluoxetine (Prozac)
aside from countless
(approximately seven) other
prescription medications kept
stashed in a plastic tray
until one or...

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Argh! Oh no for dog's sake...
Uneasy thoughts commander in chief...

Will be elected president
(putative tsar of United States
forever long he lives)
until... he abdicates faux
official crown to Jared Kushner
will be handily elected
Tuesday November 3rd, 2020.

Said foreboding intimation
insinuates,...

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A Trite Nihilistic Occasion   

This doodling Yankee 
(boot noah dandy) 
doth newt lack chutzpah, 
tries to finagle Fitbit 
fitting figurative footwear, 
that ideally Fitzhugh 
like custom made glove snugly, 
terrifically, unequivocally matching, 
thence...

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True "FAKE" Story Of A Vita Man Junky
(any resemblance between this poem,
and living persons...iz purely coincidental.)

Ruthlessly abuzz in my mind
     loosed another idea
     for a poem asper
(wren)...

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Alfredo always abhorred angry approaches
After an amigo accosted after an argument
And, afterward, Alfredo abstained arguing,

Because blackening bruises betrayed blather
Berniccio blindly behaved better, bravely
Becoming brotherly before blasting bullies!

Carefully commandeering calmer Carlos,
Claiming cool comradeship courageously
Communicated clever candid...

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This doodling Yankee (boot noah dandy) 
doth newt lack chutzpah, 
tries to finagle Fitbit fitting figurative footwear, 
that ideally Fitzhugh 
like custom made glove snugly, 
terrifically, unequivocally matching, 
thence handily solving Finger hut issue, 
when...

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Fraught With IBS Irritable Bowel Syndrome...

The earliest recollection with 
lower gastrointestinal eruptions,
viz psychosomatic induced distress
occurred when yours truly
quite a young lad, which specialist
invited me to ingest barium sulfate,
whereby the pinkish chalk like solution
traced a path...

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End of summer countdown before school year...

countless decades graduating 
contemptible cum laude
hence same time frame every 
August since...the stone
temple pilot age, this beastie 
boy flashes back to yahoos
whose rawhide (mine) they 
miraculously never whipped!

Uneasy panic...

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Symphonic Quiescent Overture – Maestro Kant Imitate

(alternately titled: a retrospective review 
randomly selecting an outdated poem 
stored within Apple icloud queue
methinks ye might might savor preview

regarding general overview
how yours truly dabbled 
with words where new
sense...

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Misery accompanied, haltered, tethered... tattered web

This health conscious lx year
roam'n, hoodwinking hoodlum doth wear
two pair bullet proof underwear,
(which confession rarely trumpeted),
plus yours truly admits unclear
why tibia long in the tooth fellow,

prevaricates with tongue in cheek...

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Folie à deux
("shared madness," or "madness for two").

I suffer in silence, though not alone
kvetching old curmudgeon (me)
(once upon a time, a promising
long haired pencil necked geek)
buzzfeeding off life's miniseries
of unedited miseries in tandem

with ideal counterpart...

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the (better late than never) 
free admission confession, exhortations against Ole Saint Nick

treasured untold shenanigans of Santa, 

his elves and reindeer discovered only 

by colluding via "FAKE" fluke 

did I manage to worm winning the...

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Fraught With IBS Irritable Bowel Syndrome...

Rear lee if ever suffices as an apt poetic title
amidst bookish canon - while
this writer (similar to other aspirants
in their respective creative pursuits)
aware arbitrary perusers may deem vile

core body of...

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Christmas Day has arrived; the thought fills me with such dread
For over twenty years they’ve come to me; it's doing in my head!

I get up at the crack of dawn to get the turkey in...

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...exhortations against Ole Saint Nick
(alternately titled untold treasured shenanigans of Santa)

his elves and reindeer discovered only 
by colluding via "FAKE" fluke 
did I manage to worm winning the trust
among Christmas elves and reindeer

confident this generic...

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About Twenty Two Score Years Ago...

One “FAKE” rumor purports April Fools’ Day
accepted with hostile abandonment
according to Giggle ling search result
conducted by this gent
adopted when France switched

rather than fight abolishment
transitioning from Julian calendar
to Gregorian calendar,
(yet maintaining...

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(otherwise titled psalm to
Amelie Beth by Matthew Scott,
his genuine, gluten free and non GMO
poetic non fake appreciative guise.)

Ah, thee availed me reason to craft
a poem with rhyme or reason,
when I beheld unexpected email
exemplifying Christmas season
triptych...

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Though I posted the following poem 
(B)efore (C)ovid, a sense 
of glee donned my being 
the notion arose to trumpet anew
said literary handily crafted endeavor.

Not far from here – Perkiomen Valley -
Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
regular folks going...

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exclamation, which does nothing to stem dead locked high tide   
     proliferation of high-powered assault bazookas 
     manned by berserk cruel death eaters, 
 ...

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Paraskevidekatriaphobia logical as any other phobia right?

Superstition(s) stubbornly linger
impossible to shrug off
(cue Atlas) courtesy pointer finger
regarding Friday the thirteenth bringer
o' ire rush ill luck cue fountainhead gargoyle
nsync with ominous grateful dead singer

uneasiness drilled into collective
conscience...

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Carte blanche, 
this scribe bandies, exercises, 
and indulges inexplicable gravitas 
drooling, extolling, and fielding greatness, 
frothing handily, indubitably jinxed, 
linkedin as some lingual philanderer, 
which oral intercourse, 

this sensate being suckles 
figuratively das bosom 
sans...

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