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Enter Poem or Quote (Required)Required Christmas Day has arrived; the thought fills me with such dread For over twenty years they’ve come to me; it's doing in my head! I get up at the crack of dawn to get the turkey in the oven Gran moans about my cooking – she belongs in a witches’ coven I always arrange the festive table last thing on Christmas Eve I don’t sit next to granny; her table manners make me heave! My sister is so overweight; you should see the size of her fanny She belches loudly when she eats, so I’ll sit her next to granny The taxi arrives at twelve o’clock and I crack open the sherry When they sit down at the table they are starting to get merry I slave over a hot stove; no one moves they act too grand I’ve given up asking for help, they treat me so off-hand Well this year I’ve rebelled and put laxatives in their soup I’ll smile secretly when off to the toilet they will all troop The soup has been devoured and I clear away the plates When the laxatives take effect they’ll be in dire straits! The turkey has been carved; all the vegetables are piled high Uncle Albert grosses out; he needs a trough in a pigsty! Turkey, and all the trimmings they will quickly devour Granny moans about the sprouts she said that one was sour I quietly sit seething whilst they get all get steaming drunk Uncle Albert farts loudly – he’s worse than a blinking skunk! Christmas pudding is eaten, followed by juicy mince pies Sister Annie stuffs her face, as more fat piles on her thighs Single handily I clear the table, and then we open up the gifts It costs me an utter fortune; you should have seen their lists Annie has knitted me the most disgusting baggy jumper I smile sweetly and thank her, but I really want to thump her! At four o’clock the taxi comes and they all go off home I sit by the fire with a cup of tea, I’m so glad to be alone Next year it’s going to be different; I’m going to go away Booked a luxury cruise – I’ll be abroad on Christmas Day! C form contest Sponsored by Broken Wings 12~30~16
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