Long Guv Poems

Believe me,
                                 ...

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A leopard found a shepherd who was looking after lambs
The shepherd had some sandwiches with different flavour jams
The leopard feeling peckish thought he’d steal one tiny sheep
So he snuck behind the shepherd and that’s when...

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Being Aussie and a nomad with a wish to travel far,
there comes a time when money’s scarce no matter who you are.
I was in the north of England when the bank declared I’m broke,
so I...

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A flash in the sky had just caught my eye
A man wearing cape and tights quickly sped by
He landed sure footed and that’s when he spoke 
“Forsooth, I am verily one super bloke.”

I said, “Ooh,...

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Guv, tell me, not without the reason
our Moscow in the fired treason
was burnt and left for French.
Oh, there were fights I see their splendours 
so awesome and we have the embers,
No wonder Russia still remembers
Borodino’s...

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Poem 9/11

Believe me,
Just watching my TV
News Flash!! Skyjack! 
New York City Centre,Jet Crash. 
Check that.
News Call,Broadcast stall. 
Drop the headlines!! 
This is the new line 
Look up on the Skyline   
Flash,Bash,Crash 
Right on...

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Well, here comes the sheriff and his boys a-strollin' t'wards my cell.
I say adios to the cockroaches, fleas and rats I've come to know so well!
"Lord, I want Ya to take care of my Ma...

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Rudolph's nose shines frosty bright,
Relations will be cool this night
He raps a hoof on Santa's door
And says we feel we should earn more

If we're to work on Christmas day
We must insist on double pay
And if...

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“So this is your yearly assessment
Pray tell how you feel you have done
Since we made you Head of Progressment
Shaping everything under the Sun.”

   “My achievements are way beyond measure
   And whilst...

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You're my hero this month, Dianne.
You brought down your unfaithful man.
"Luv Guv," now your ex,
was wild about sex.
One staffer was his greatest fan.

A text meant for her went to you!
Months later you'd bid him adieu,
but...

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Susie teetered into Bill’s office, wearing a skintight miniskirt
Sat on Bill’s knee for dictation. She was an outrageous flirt
Soon Bill was smitten and couldn’t resist her ample charms
He forgot about his wife and kids and...

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[Warning - This Acrostic may contain profanity…
I have checked and I couldn’t find any, but, well
something’s just kinda niggling me… honest guv]


Heroes of the ‘super’ variety
Often disguised from polite society
Lovers, fighters, angry blighters
Yesterday’s pilots, freedom...

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One world in a trillion
Where everything clicked
In a Goldilocks zone
Where a switch had been flicked

Busted
Perfection soon rusted
When late party crashers
Were grab it and smashers

For eons they blended
Their world complemented
Till fresh out of college 
With abundant...

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First the bunnies came en masse
and chewed up all our fine green grass
the students had to watch them mount
and they multiplied till we lost count

Now, the deer are out of hand
they've overrun our fertile land
if...

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Spare a copper guv, for many fought for you,
We went to war and many mates died there too.
Buy a Poppy lady, I'm not a beggarman,
The trenches were full when it began.
A penny in the pot...

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For years preachers have ranted and raved to control the activities of hookers!
Well, I'm proposin' that the guv-mint control the sale and use of pressure cookers!

We've seen the havoc these lethal weapons wreaked upon Olde...

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Through it all, this crazy season,
There has been one voice of reason:
Andrew Cuomo, New York’s guv,
A Democrat we all can love.

He gives us info, up-to-date
And all he does communicate
Is done with calm and strength and...

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The mayor and guv’nor did clash,
Both feeling empowered and brash
And we all await
In city and state
To find out whose credit will crash.

The mayor says schools will be closed
‘Til September, which we all supposed
But the guv,...

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