Our Very Own Hero
A flash in the sky had just caught my eye
A man wearing cape and tights quickly sped by
He landed sure footed and that’s when he spoke
“Forsooth, I am verily one super bloke.”
I said, “Ooh, get you,” in a mock comic voice
He said, “Tis a brave man, that mocketh my choice
To vanquish the blaggard of doubtful intent
So desist young scoundrel and be thee not bent.”
I said, “Leave it out guv, you’ve gotta be nuts,
You look a right numpty, there’s no ifs or buts
What kind of hero do you claim to be
You look like a dollar store loser to me.”
Well he stood feet apart with his hands on his hips
He gave me a look that said, “You’ve had your chips.”
Instead he said, “I roam alone like a cloud
To snare ye that do-eth what be not allowed.”
I laughed in his face and I told him he’s bonkers
And his tights were revealing his couple of conkers
And then I said, “Give up this crime fighting caper
Or soon you’ll be ridiculed in the newspaper.”
Suddenly there was a screeching of tyres
Out of a Buick leapt Machete Myers
He shouted, “Oy, nutter, get outa my way
Or you’se gonna go meet your maker today.”
The self proclaimed hero spoke firmly, “Behold,
Hast I not crossed hosts of daffodils - gold
To stay thee thy hand as thy crime was foretold
And in yonder jailhouse then thee I shall scold.”
Machete Myers with his machete out
Laughed, uncontrollably falling about
He collapsed in a heap and died where he laid
By coming down hard on his own lethal blade
I said, “Okay, Mister, you’ve saved all our bacon
It seems that it could be that I’ve been mistaken
You’ve talked us both out of a grave situation
But that gear you’re wearing is one weird creation.”
The man in the cape and the over tight tights
Who had just put out the machete man’s lights
While speaking in rhyme said, “I have a plan,
I shall fight crime and be called Souperman.”
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