Our Very Own Hero

A flash in the sky had just caught my eye A man wearing cape and tights quickly sped by He landed sure footed and that’s when he spoke “Forsooth, I am verily one super bloke.” I said, “Ooh, get you,” in a mock comic voice He said, “Tis a brave man, that mocketh my choice To vanquish the blaggard of doubtful intent So desist young scoundrel and be thee not bent.” I said, “Leave it out guv, you’ve gotta be nuts, You look a right numpty, there’s no ifs or buts What kind of hero do you claim to be You look like a dollar store loser to me.” Well he stood feet apart with his hands on his hips He gave me a look that said, “You’ve had your chips.” Instead he said, “I roam alone like a cloud To snare ye that do-eth what be not allowed.” I laughed in his face and I told him he’s bonkers And his tights were revealing his couple of conkers And then I said, “Give up this crime fighting caper Or soon you’ll be ridiculed in the newspaper.” Suddenly there was a screeching of tyres Out of a Buick leapt Machete Myers He shouted, “Oy, nutter, get outa my way Or you’se gonna go meet your maker today.” The self proclaimed hero spoke firmly, “Behold, Hast I not crossed hosts of daffodils - gold To stay thee thy hand as thy crime was foretold And in yonder jailhouse then thee I shall scold.” Machete Myers with his machete out Laughed, uncontrollably falling about He collapsed in a heap and died where he laid By coming down hard on his own lethal blade I said, “Okay, Mister, you’ve saved all our bacon It seems that it could be that I’ve been mistaken You’ve talked us both out of a grave situation But that gear you’re wearing is one weird creation.” The man in the cape and the over tight tights Who had just put out the machete man’s lights While speaking in rhyme said, “I have a plan, I shall fight crime and be called Souperman.”