Long Germane Poems

Limericks I - Relatives and Relativity

The Cosmological Constant
by Michael R. Burch

Einstein, the frizzy-haired,
said E equals MC squared.
Thus all mass decreases
as activity ceases?
Not my mass, my a$$ declared!


A$$-tronomical
by Michael R. Burch

Relativity, the theorists’ creed,
says mass increases...

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Limericks VI - Religion

Pell-Mell for Hell Mel
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a Baptist named Mel
who condemned all non-Christians to hell.
When he stood before God
he felt like a clod
to discover His Love couldn’t fail!



Why I...

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Was this a bold  endeavour or worst-case high risk plot?
 In one sense I was caught between two poles apart  concerns.
One must never underestimate indeed trivialise a devilish 
difficult decision.
A decision that may...

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A plethora of complex verbiage clogs and clutters solemn university tombs,
gem-encrusted sequestered  vaults  impervious on  mountain peak percentage practical basis, 
when express benevolence  enjoins the ultimate in empirical  assessment ...

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Bad ass beauty brought bedlam, and begat bastard child...
courtesy booty call minus preemptive measures
while plugg naughty bits of tarnished knight 
while he took tea and crumpets within mistress's boudoir

The following verses typed out some years...

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Bedlam and mayhem in the mistress's boudoir

Nsync with variations on a theme:
of drool worthy Reuben Sandwich
(consisting of corned beef, 
Swiss cheese, sauerkraut, 
Russian dressing between slices 
of rye bread that is grilled 
until the bread...

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Deva Ossig, the landlady (and property owner) turned rogue

Just a couple weeks shy 
and seven years ago to the day,
I still remember contractual obligations
our previous residential abode
724 West Railroad Avenue, 
Bryn Mawr 19010 zip code
volatile...

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I posit picayune propensities prevail among pesky management

Most favored renter status imposed on us
i.e. meaning myself;
(one tarnished prince of Highland Manor)
and the missus, his princess consort
who must abide by rigorous writ
of tidiness, whereby
every flat surface...

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An anticlimactic sexual event...

with Barb Black née Beebee
to help set the ghost
of little Willy Brandt free
(a non German, but germane fellow  
courtesy Craigslist classified
personals of mine invitee
she replied, I took liberty
to Google her first...

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Loving my refurbished fifteen inch mid 2015 Macbook Pro

A lightning fast machine
purchased three days ago
now comfortably nestling with
said technological wonder,
where outside a cold wind howls
measuring windchill factor of five below
allowing, enabling and providing me
an opportunity...

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Jinxed jesting jejune junior jobber...
just jabbering gibberish (A - J)

Again, another awkward ambitious
arduous attempt at alphabetically
arranging atrociously ambiguously
absolutely asinine avoidable alliteration.

Because...? Basically bonafide belching,
bobbing, bumbling, bohemian beastie boy,
bereft bummer, bleeds blasé blues, begetting
bloviated boilerplate bildungsroman,
boasting...

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Plagued with lifelong lower gastrointestinal Sturm und Drang

Ever since a young lad
irritable bowel syndrome
in my humble pinion wracked
lower abdominal area 
gurgled and ballooned gastrointestinal tract
(similar to following Colonoscopy preparation
slated for January 24th, 2024
at Phoenixville Hospital)
posterior...

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The figurative nail hit on the hirsute covered head!

Eventually vices will witness me crow king
cough'n affliction caw hearse courtesy 
smok'n since me yay high,
hence appellation (mountain) wheezer 
natural set of adult teeth (rotten to the...

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I still feel under the weather today April 2nd, 2023

Unseen enemy invades my body 
with platoon of green berets air
rating, and enfilading immune system viz 
Hib bully knock and sock kin me 
courtesy roebuck seers...

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Free association comprises ratiocination...

Bonafide catatonic doggedness,
nevertheless this stubborn stoic poet writ
afore and another feeble effort courtesy
exhaustive mental effort
he brewed den - brought about divine visit
analogously to solve mystery pinpointing
within suspense unveiling whodunnit.

Whereat your true
plane vanilla...

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Free association comprises ratiocination...

Bonafide catatonic doggedness,
nevertheless this stubborn stoic poet writ
afore and another feeble effort courtesy
exhaustive mental effort
he brewed den - brought about divine visit
analogously to solve mystery pinpointing
within suspense unveiling whodunnit.

Whereat your true
plane vanilla...

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Harold the Hugh Hefner wannabe carrot top...

spry buck analogous to energizing bunny 
jump/kickstarted procreation ruckus.

Home on the range 
cacophony quite absurd
PlayBoy Bunny herd
and felt ingratiatingly inured,
nevertheless colony or nest 
of doe eyed demoiselles 
stewed over...

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The (tongue In Cheek) Balm...
Of "permanent" Sleep

Abbott, nothing beats the
     immortal heavenly reincarnation
     after mortality odometer
     unexpectedly set to zeros
preparing deceased
  ...

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I haint donning royal carpet treatment

No stuntman/woman showed up, 
albeit intervened in timely fashion
to thwart mishaps experienced 
courtesy me I bemoan,
and poet lore re: yet of Perkiomen Valley
Pennsylvania, United States of America
never suffered major illness...

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October 7th, 2023 upon third anniversary of mine papa's passing...

Death no longer jars, nixes, 
and rattles mine sense and sensibilities
without pride nor prejudice
no matter (even with marginal persuasion) 
wit and wisdom of Jane Austen ill...

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October 7th, 2022 upon second anniversary of mine papa's passing...

Death no longer jars, nixes, 
and rattles mine sense and sensibilities
without pride or prejudice
no matter (even with marginal persuasion) 
wit and wisdom of Jane Austen ill...

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Harold the Hugh Hefner carrot top buck

Ruled his hare'm 
nsync with trumpeting Donald Duck,
(loud enough to arouse Daisy),
the former cartoon character,
a pensive searing black kind Roebuck
heir to a fortune hauling trash and rubbish,

whereby dust bunnies...

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Dear Attorney Thompson Page, LLC
Sentient Advocate for Domestic Companions

Thank you for reminding me
last evening, as I was feeling unfree,
Retributive justice is rooted in ecological principles
of healthy empathic relationships
responsibilities
judgments
discernments
communications between sentient beings.

For remembering that good
healthy
effective legal...

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Light Verse

Marvell-Less
by Michael R. Burch 

Mr. Marvell was ill-named? Inform us!
Alas, his crude writings deform us:
for when trying to bed
chaste virgins, he led
off with his iron balls ginormous!


I Learned Too Late
by Michael R. Burch 

“Show,...

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Vitriolic scathing psychological malevolent jujitsu
cruelly, fiendishly, incriminating
lambasting opprobrium rue
teenly dished out to yours truly

mechanically engineered hatred to stew
when passive aggression fostered corked,
where self destruction grew
tens of decades ago, when this then
much younger match chew

Scott doubted,...

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