Long Futility Poems
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Voluntary unconditional surrender woke...,
Viz hitting yours truly,
when yokel egghead doth jinx
whereby ye cannot comprehend figurative
wimpy vainglory, unequivocally, tectonically,
smoldering resentments I stoke,
he doth bare his soul no joke,
no matter insight doth severely challenge
cyber surfing passersby, who attempt
to interpret courtesy
mental torture doth invoke
brutality, difficulty, futility gobbledygook,
heavily taxing your fifty
plus shades of gray
I apologetically, grudgingly (ha),
painstakingly, unwittingly... poke,
when mine broadcast
red by anonymous folk
admittedly poetically trumpeting ambiguity
overlain donned with high falutin cloak
peace be with thee courtesy this bloke.
Electronic date/time stamp permeates
within copious, illustrious,
and porous corpus callosum
hemispheric spongy sinks
mister re: mysterious as Sphinx
validation indubitably backfires
invariably induces loosed
unicellular sized rat finks
cerebral blackout courtesy
one to many drinks,
envision sucker punched by
rockin sockin robots one named
Muhammad Ali t'other Leon Spinks,
or gordian knotted cognitive kinks
bajillion befuddled blinks,
albeit feeble analogy methinks
to render genuine concomitant
convoluted, mangled, twisted... (think
Möbius strip) sentiment
specifically linkedin with
sincere appreciation meant
pertaining to this gent
despite slight trepidation
as faux Geico petsmart agent
forced celibate nun sensical chap
considering entering convent
cloistered existence remaining
days of my life get spent,
where "15 minutes
might save me, not so shabby decent
15% or more on car insurance."
Paraphrase aforementioned Matt Speak
more easily succinctly understood,
versus gibberish as ????????
(i.e. the word Greek spelled in Greek)
essentially long in the tooth fella
self anointed literate sheikh
feeble flattered fungi with
average mushroom shaped physique
trends towards playfulness
in tandem with harmless streak
merely acknowledges how his unique
self expression oft times
tongue-in-cheek
experiences giddiness at unsolicited
positive feedback versus he/she,
who doth bitingly, flagrantly,
outrageously, witheringly... critique
modesty misunderstood equivalent
of poetic (peekaboo) hide and seek
to Dani body hook ken find me
game to reveal me re: hide and seek.
Preface:
Earlier today May 28th, 2021,
the 12-member jury unanimously
found Cristhian Bahena Rivera guilty
of first-degree murder in brutal stabbing death
sentenced to life in prison
without the possibility of parole
of Mollie Tibbetts remembered as then friendly
20-year-old who was studying
to become a child psychologist.
IOWA CITY, Iowa
(killingly, jarringly inexplicable,
horribly, gruesomely, and forlornly),
the body found July 18, 2018,
an exhumed decayed corpse
belonging to young
vibrant coed twenty year old
college student Mollie Tibbetts.
Impossible mission to deduce
senseless killing of innocent babe
wild speculation perchance
spurned, snubbed,or scorned
love seriously gone wrong,
she who disappeared
from her small hometown
in central Iowa sad swan song
now plays, where every
last drop of sorrow rung,
now weeping family, friends,
relatives, et cetera subjected wrack
with lifelong emotional pain,
which searing inescapable
grief twill unrelentingly track
ferociously, fiercely, and figuratively,
doth disallow recourse
to duck away
from heart wrenching quack
king unbearably, terribly, and scathingly
will fully bill leave ably
beak homing a folly,
mockery, and travesty,
sans time heals
all wounds (truly "FAKE"),
nonetheless psyche riving tragic
(irrevocable loss) doth pack.
Grievous punch greater then any
all star olympic pugilist
straight to the ab
domain of opponent, where
rumor mongers mill and blab
how this, that, or
another potential suspect,...
whence tissues dab
corners of crying eyes,
an endless stream
of tears merge with gab
bullying utter disbelief.
Family/friends question
the supposed almighty
at devastating loss
to do nothing but bawl (at Baal)
into the fox sized rabbit hole
trying with futility
to block (even crawl
ling into every
rabbit hole) no bastion
against implacable
maddening crowded
house alive with murderous frenzy,
and a dialect (non
tickling) gentle Iowan drawl.
Third anniversary regarding
asper the impossibly steep toll
the purposelessness killing,
aforementioned deceased
affected sodden wet soul
cannot process any (defying) logic,
a foregone lovely gal (same age
as my youngest daughter),
whose missed presence,
(albeit said slain lass
Mollie Tibbetts – permanent absence),
now created an expansive
infinite black sink hole.
Why me father/daughter relationship
important to this papa
Fourteen and a half years
since death of mother (mine),
nary one iota of communication
in general and compassion
in particular while
she lived, now wears
heavy and yokes
mantle fostering tears
indirectly sabotaging rapport
with eldest daughter
futility doth arise uttering
feeble secular prayers,
cuz interaction with mother,
whose vehemence more
deafening than banshee killdeers
exceeding threshold of
decibels tolerable these ears.
Now comeuppance came
full family circle, yes
that's her within picture frame,
when young, innocent, and beautiful,
decades before terminal
illness rendered her
incapacitated and lame.
Her second of
three born offspring,
and yours truly
that singular boy
figuratively tethered himself
to her apron strings,
which near omnipotent
biochemical bond her
rancor would destroy,
when lonesome son
failed to employ
purported adult responsibilities
solitary without any
even one homeboy
never knowing how
to maximize potential
rather totally tubular at loss
advantageously to deploy
supposed ducks in a row
always imp pond
durable feeling cast ahoy
shore lee within alien nation,
whereby village people
observe an exceptionally
unresponsive immovable
lad - qua zee decoy
analogous to stonewall,
albeit socially withdrawn
emotionally, physically,
and socially retracting
exhibiting no joy,
nor any audible,
tactile or visible life
stockstill like an
abandoned broken toy.
Silence spoke volumes mainly
I don't wanna be alive
antithetical to that basic
instinct to survive
protestations arose deliberately
minus figurative parachute,
I took kamikaze nosedive
a couple years after two times five
orbitz astride planet Earth
ne'er did amity, comity,
fraternity ever jive,
nope not even pleasant hello
would fake deaf/mute contrive
interaction between kith and kin
affection toward parents
and siblings (two sisters,
not twisted) I did deprive,
whence fast forward decades later,
a metaphorical wedge would drive
roughshod o'er kinship,
when fatherhood did arrive
though "star student" did connive
him (me) to test discomfort zones,
yet more often than not inclusive
integration abandoned among
linkedin with kindling explosive
smoldering volcano found
wicked volatility expressive.
Interpreting Poetry (mine)
Similar to scrutinizing
an abstract painting,
this author begetting
obscure words dumbfounding
readers, he eludes
(no shade tree fore rest)
clear cut discerning,
yet oft times his words
garner reviews raving
esoteric word choice,
how mind boggling
to this logophile despite
more than one reading
brow (sir) furrowed -
cognitive region scrunching,
no matter intent concentration
utter futility attempting
bedeviled comprehension, whether
literary master (me? ha...
not yet), among pantheon partying,
but nonetheless birthing
present day profoundly thought provoking,
undoubtedly tirelessly expending
mental energy eventually exhausting
effort in futility understanding,
asper mine stymied
linkedin attention getting
(then just as quickly losing)
registering resignation defeat alluding
to challenge physical prowess daunting
engagement well matched savvy sparring
partner, or possibly life
and death battling
against unwittingly aggressive brutal questing
archenemy, sans toward all living
species wretched nemesis ultimately deciding
mortality tacitly accepted proffering
transient longevity refusing
to compromise, haggle, negotiate,
et cetera casting
deadened demise of victor or villain
all thru civilization starring
as unopposable tour
de force quietly biding
end date, versus indiscriminately snatching
hero, heroine, coward,
et cetera requiring
impossible ransom while donning
mask of Melpomene
(Tragedy), or trumpeting
Thalia (Comedy), no exit stage door left
only joie de vivre
until last second ticking
unbeknownst unexpected, and uninviting
deathly hallows ringtone alarming
anonymous (oh Henry)
words worth struggling
to hash meaningfulness, viz
finite existence germinating
since birth, yet
terminal realization pressing
with greater frequency when aging,
and deafeningly ear splitting
amplitude bite the bullet clamoring
to tread welcome matt acquiescing
unavoidable phase of dying
devoid of any bargain, but requiring
unconditionally punishingly suffering
silent non binding
resolution, no exemption decrying
unfair contractual obligation, nor unionizing
worth a fig yore of
speech as cosmic arbiter
blithely doth shear - pruning,
without rhyme nor reason meeting
identical fate toward everyone
even posthumous destiny yours truly awaiting.
February 22 Relationship to God Bible Meditations
Based on Deuteronomy 20-24
Key Verse – Deuteronomy 20:1 When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt.
LORD GOD, YOU ARE MY BATTLE CONQUEROR
Lord God, You are my battle Conqueror,
taking my soul to Your saving deliverance
Thank You for besieging me from worldly spoil’s alluring appearance
I then fix my sight to Your inheritance along heavenly entrance
In carrying-out Your commandment, subdued of my arrogance.
Lord God, You are my battle Conqueror,
training my will by Your sin-slaying might
Thank You for building me up against pride’s downfall and blight
I then find my strength in Your blood-redeeming power for victorious flight
In calming myself to prevail over guilt’s fright and frustration’s height.
Lord God, You are my battle Conqueror,
terrifying my enemies greatly
Thank You for bracing me up to march on righteously
I then follow Your leading perseveringly
In coming nigh to Your throne so I can share Your peace bravely.
Lord God, You are my battle Conqueror,
turning my heart from stubbornness
Thank You for barring me from disobedience and rebelliousness
I then fear You reverentially with total submissiveness
In committing my life to Your blessed joyfulness.
Lord God, You are my battle Conqueror,
teaching my spirit to trust Your wisdom
Thank You for boosting me against vain quest for earthly stardom
I then fall into Your forgiveness, humbled in seeking first Your kingdom
In calling upon You while discovering Your bliss-filled freedom.
Lord God, You are my battle Conqueror,
trying my conviction against materialistic prosperity
Thank You for burdening me with prayer quests to seeking You with sincerity
I then fence my mind around Your truth’s security
In combatting oppressive discontentment midst grievous futility.
Lord God, You are my battle Conqueror,
triumphing toward my divine cheerful excitement
Thank You for blessing me in my stewardship’s engagement
I then feast in Your presence with Your grace-endowment
In cleaving to You always by Your Word’s assuring bestowment.
February 22, 2023
For millennia, our race has lived a vast success.
Hatred, envy, spite, and strife are on the rise.
Despair, aggressiveness, self-centeredness.
Depravity, intrigue, lewdness, vanity, despise.
Hubris, a lack of self-awareness, and trickery.
Aristotle's five components have been corrupted.
Air, water, earth, and fire are no longer ancillary.
Humbly wished to stay alive rather than dead.
When I think back on all I've been through, it all seems insane.
There doesn't seem to be any way for me to heal.
Even if I tried, I'd never been able to reach or even get obscene.
On a detail level hit, I was wounded in the deepest part of my soul.
It seems clear to me now that my fate was set by my disputes.
Before it was too early in the process, I tried tentatively.
They've formed outflow and false analogies without any roots
When I had all the talent and drive, I regret not doing it smoothly.
They think they will be able to detain me after a full investigation
They make me feel scared with all they perform
I demonstrated to them that they could inflict pain and dejection
They're alleging in the flood that they lied about the game.
As a leader, I cannot assert that logic will guide my word.
They exhibit how to rule for the benefit of their family.
They did, however, get the human falsity award.
They're simply playing badly and misleading the community.
However, it's excessively various to decide.
You dared to contact that one strand.
You aren't aware when you alter your face.
It turns into such a terror-like experience.
It's going to last a period, you accept.
For the first time, you've been right.
It's the unique last time indefinitely.
You were harmed, and you stumbled struck poorly.
It felt agreeable yet surprising.
You said that you felt humiliated over increasing.
Pause for a minute to consider; it appears it's an act of futility.
When it got back to sobbing in the downpour, the storm faded away.
This time, everything had changed after much sorrow.
You never know when one door will shut, and another will open.
All the regime crashed, and I'm now being hailed as a hero.
Life is a journey, not a destination; without patience, no gain
Written: June 29, 2021
A broken person Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Faraz Ajmal
June 1 Relationship to God Bible Meditations Based on Psalms 57-62
Key Verse – Psalm 57:1 Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me: for my soul trusteth in thee: yea, in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge, until these calamities be overpast.
LORD GOD, YOU ARE MY MERCIFUL REFUGE
Lord God, You are my merciful refuge,
quickening my soul against calamities
Thank You for quenching my cries caused by infirmities and difficulties
Quiet me please from reproaches of adversities
Qualify me to serve You by Your truth-certainties.
Lord God, You are my merciful refuge,
quickening my spirit by Your righteousness
Thank You for quenching my fears due to violence of wickedness
Quiet me please from whirlwind of destruction brought by haughtiness
Qualify me to receive Your commendation of faithfulness.
Lord God, You are my merciful refuge,
quickening my futility to desire Your divine contentment
Thank You for quenching my pride that propels foolish engagement
Quiet me please from consumption of fleshly defilement
Qualify me to fulfill Your will, pleasing You with faith by Your empowerment.
Lord God, You are my merciful refuge,
quickening my defenselessness with Your deliverance
Thank You for quenching my iniquities that break my endurance
Quiet me please from transgressions’ noise fortifying ignorance
Qualify me to wait upon You and for Your glorious appearance.
Lord God, You are my merciful refuge,
quickening my bad attitude so displeasing
Thank You for quenching my brokenness by Your healing’s cleansing
Quiet me please from despair of frustration’s cursing
Qualify me to follow You and Your leadership for spiritual blessing.
Lord God, You are my merciful refuge,
quickening my prayerlessness toward supplication-delight
Thank You for quenching my struggles against overwhelming doubt’s might
Quiet me please from troubles of insecurity-plight
Qualify me to perform my vows for You through Your wisdom’s insight.
Lord God, You are my merciful refuge,
quickening my joy of salvation and peace of redemption
Thank You for quenching my mischief as You guard me with compassion
Quiet me please from disturbance of deceit’s confusion
Qualify me to render to You my best, marked by sincere devotion.
June 1, 2023
Don't write me letters
Don't send me texts
Don't call me on the phone
Because I will soon fall next
Don't send me snaps
Don't send me tweets
I'll fall for you too easy
Be sick for weeks
Don't like my status
Definitely don't like my picture
Don't make this thing worse
Or my heart grow thicker
Lets stop now, while we're ahead
Because I can't handle love
And I wont' go to bed.
I can never go to sleep
With you In my head.
And I've seen and heard all this before
You might like me now
But soon will be going for the door
Because I don't know how to love
And know no one who can handle mine
I will drop my everything for you,
Waste all my time
The only thing will be you
That is on my mind
Something my silly, crazy heart can't take
Is another cup of sugar
So I'll just take my coffee black for life
Sit there alone at the diner
I'm more comfortable lonesome anyway
Provides for a Much more selfishly convenient day to day
I'll build a wall around my heart
And you're going to pay for it!
Haha
For a laugh I had to add that
If you were a record I'd only scratch that
I'll play you too often
And spoil a good thing
I need hurt in my heart
And more reasons to sing
Karaoke in the bar
George Straight in my car
Being sad can make you happy
If you know who you are
Truth is
You are probably a normal, typical girl
But ill build you up in my head
My heart, you'll rule.
And you will probably squash it like a bug.
There's no sympathy for a nice guy
Only a friend zone membership mug.
And I'm Murphy's law
So I already know what is going to happen
I know the futility of my efforts and actions.
They make me lyrical.
My lack of game is
somewhat comical.
The looks I get are
rather hysterical.
Somebody help me please
I need me a miracle.
26 years of the same old ****.
And I got at least 26 poems that talk about it.
The moral of the story is:
Don't even come near me.
Leave me be to feel sorry for myself.
With my love hate relationship with life.
I'm too much of a Narcisst to ever find love.
For that I apologize to up above.
So don't throw out any bait
Hook line and sinker
Because I will bite the bait hard
The boat I will sink her.
So don't do anything to make me fall for you.
Because I wouldn't know what to do.
I can't handle those feelings.
So What's new?
from Juniper’s Daughter:
War Is Obsolete – Futility and Hope
By Nick Armbrister
Caught Up In a Fairy Tale
My dreams haunt me as does the music, drunk I dance to the mesmerizing tales told by the songs of 25 years ago, as real now as back then. The heady rush of the moment takes me and lifts me up ever so high until my primeval fear snatches my euphoria away like committing an armed robbery on a child for his sweets.
Cold war nightmare returns with a dozen vengeances as I dare to lift the veil of the nightmare, I only wanted to peek inside! Nena and Frankie got it right in their two songs 99 Red Balloons and Two Tribes. We really did live in a nightmare but with such erotic desires - do anything you want do coz after they drop the bomb and nuke us all in World War3 no one will be left to care or give a damn.
I hear my mother ask me what you want for Xmas son. Mother I want this... to go back to Xmas in 1986 and to see a nuclear war, for the Warsaw pact/Soviet forces to come across the Fulda gap and the north German plain. For NATO to stop their conventional forces with tactical nukes after air power fails, the heady rush of nuclear escalation killing us all, overwhelming our planet irradiating our world darkening our skies with nuclear mushroom clouds.
On and on and on I writhe in ecstatic enjoyment seeing the work of the devil thru Christian believing Western men bringing on the end of their, our, world stopping the heathen red menace with all they’ve got. You see it was a matter pride not common sense that made them react they were trained well.
Now after watching my Xmas gift, I ask to go home. I hear no reply. Slowly it dawns on me, I can’t go home and there is no home. Just an irradiated world stuck in Xmas 1986, totally destroyed. What did I wish for? Am I dreaming a nightmare that I’m stuck in, did the veil fall after I looked inside drawing me in a prisoner?
I can say what a f*ckin' rush, I don’t need drugs they’re for pussies I just need my Cold War music and my mind that is like a television. On and on the music plays as the Pershing 2 and Cruise Missiles launch as F-16s and other jets battle it out in the winter heavens as the countdown to the end begins.
Who said the darkness wasn’t fun? Who did win in the end of the world?
~ (~) "Yes to tell the truth whatever I deemed alone so-far-myself in my-lifetime to be-of-
eminent-promise, quiet virtue — is but only a tale I fetched up to be my merry placate... yes
gathered up from the ominous hollo of the wandering winds, told in the futility of my mind
infinitely far-and-a-ways beyond the timelessness of their prudence, love... enchantment
continuing grace; that which I would delight myself in the-hands-of today — and for-the-
remainder of them... if were they to come to pass... ." (~) ~
~ (~) "For-them I would-not-barter a thing... but-offer-all-of-me again... and whatever
pleasures brought-bought-and-sought after-from-then-on yes I pray it would assume a true
peace, for everyone — instead-of-the-clutter wrought-mostly-of-my-own-confusion, and the
certain-hell-it-has brought-me, and another, as a result — but still... given this fact I feel
scars still-grow-old eventually growing over, given-the blessing of-time... life — the struggles
toward an honest enlightenment through faith in Christ all leading to victory I believe today
no-matter — the periodic lack-thereof... ." (~ ) ~
~ (~) "So I consider the experience of this hope as-the-promise-awaiting all-who would-will-
moreover-to fight-to-breathe, God's mercy the breath of life being their release, forgiveness,
their-humble-reprieve... ." (~) ~
~ (~) "Because captivating I think-yes, the-passion-of-a-promise left unfinished — alive... like
the-fury-and-fortitude-of-a-raging-wind, and so it is felt and upheld forever-kept-open —
such-it-is-I-feel-to-own-a-love, unending." (~) ~
~ (~) Be-it-to-death-or-the-journey-beyond, though prompt as time-presses-on so this hope
will always remain. (~) ~
~ (~) "Abounding-of-all good things-peace-forever-carrying its sweet refrain...
and with eternities light shown down... you know I shudder-to think-not...
because where-have I gone-that the-ground has-not risen-up to-greet-me... and-peace-
wasn't-found-eventually...
and at this moment where is it exactly I don't feel safe... through these things I know truth is
always resurrected...
and yes through these propositions I'm sure... so very much more can be deliberated!" (~) ~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koJlIGDImiU