Long Fred Poems
Long Fred Poems. Below are the most popular long Fred by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Fred poems by poem length and keyword.
I went to visit Farmer Fred
Found him out in his wood shed
He was splitting up some oak
As I approached, he paused and spoke
“When I was young, I served my country and was willing to give my life for what I believed this country stood for.”
“Today I’d give my life to protect my family from what this country has become.”
I looked at Fred a bit askance
And he could see at a glance
That he should explain his new stance
‘We will bury you’ is coming to fruition.”
“Our country is becoming the very thing I fought against.”
“Pravda had nothing on the propagandist news in our nation.”
“Give it any name or label you will, government control over people has failed “the people” throughout human history.”
“I do not hold that government is evil, rather power which is corrupting and evil.”
“It has always been about power over others.”
“Kings, Emperors, Chancellors, Prime Ministers, and Presidents all abuse it.”
“Using government power to control others by controlling their means of earning and amassing wealth.”
“Feudalism, Socialism, Communism, Fascism, all place government at the top and make all people beholden to government.”
“Free market capitalism was the only exception.”
“Some played it better than others and acquired more wealth and wealth is power.”
“Thus, the role of government should be to check that power by ensuring the playing field and rules were applied equally.”
“All men are created equal, not all outcomes should be equal.”
I hold my hand up
Fred paused quite abrupt
With a pained look like please don’t interrupt
“I will simply say, we are no longer ‘The land of the free and home of the brave’ rather the land of the aggrieved and home of the knave.”
This was all he had to say
Fred dropped his ax and walked away
Imagine if at the drop of a hat,
You could become a cartoon
Sylvester the Cat,
Chasing poor little Tweety Bird,
Perhaps it sounds absurd
Or be Fred Flintstone or his friend,
Let’s just pretend,
I was Barney or Fred’s wife Wilma,
Back in the Stone Age era,
Or I really fancy good ol’ Bugs Bunny,
Being incessantly shot at by Elmer
Fudd, I wouldn’t feel that it was
eternally funny,
‘What’s up doc’ Bugs would say,
Every moment of every single day.
And of course, the beginning of
Cartoons with Mickey Mouse,
And his girlfriend Minnie, I wonder
Did she ever become his spouse.
Unforgettable Donald Duck
Who sometimes would show pluck
But lacked finesse and polish,
And never ceased to astonish
His audience who laughed at his
Semi-intelligible speech,
But how much each
One of us looked forward to time
In front of the telly, prime
Hour for adults and children alike,
Heading home on your bike,
To not miss a second, homework
Not yet done
For now, it was all about fun.
One of my favorites for absolute sure,
Was the Mad Hatter at his tea party
At whom Alice in Wonderland
Was a guest, and experienced first-hand,
What riddles were or were not about,
For without him, there would be no story,
And this famous fable would
Have lost it’s glory.
The road runner for me was a trifle
Boring, but his ‘beep, beep’ grew on me,
I ought to agree.
I could go on forever, and mention
Many a cartoon, but time to go
To sleep like Sleeping beauty,
And be awaken each morn
By my handsome prince who pampers
Me, for he believes I earn
An amazing aroma of fresh ground coffee
And interprets my cartoon dreams,
Into romance and a kaleidoscope
Of incredible themes!
I'm tell'n you bloke, it ain"t no joke,
specially if he's a big and red, and a
Joey's dad..who got him quite
Already mad! Ya may well think when
He's hunkerd down, real low against
The ground, just munchi'n on veg
But geez he's got some edge' so if
You think to applick.? To his ribs a stick?! I advise ya nooo! Do not do that Joe.!!!
Some stand at eight feet nine.' And when
They are in a bind.??? First they tilt the head. Left eye, right eye..Just to sort'a say- see' what'cha do'in ta me.? Then its
Up he'll come skin tight like a drum.' And even
If your name is fred.? Well its now to late to get
To the shed..Its time to ( suck it and see.!)
Immediately...Just in time the earth quake
Happened.' All the bloody roos; just wen't scatter'n God always comes in time, ya know? even saved on a dime, as it goes '
Fred was afraid, but Daphne had his back after all.
They were staying in a haunted mansion that fall.
Velma was the last one to come onboard and join in.
She brought Shaggy and Scooby by the hair of his chin.
There are shadows in there, and ghosts, Scooby said. True!
Come on the rest coaxed him; they brought dog chews too.
The first few hours were marvelous, they had fantastic food.
But they heard some weird noises at midnight; What are those, Dude?
The shadows are creeping me out, Fred told Daphne and Scoob.
Don’t worry, they are not moving yet, that’s the weird TV tube.
Shaggy watched them until his eyes crossed nearly into his head.
Let’s go to bed quickly, he suggested, before we turn up dead.
Dead! Scooby and Shaggy took off on a run, away from the dark.
They ran into the hills and stayed with a dog who had a big bark.
Velma left too, for she had seen a shadow figure appear.
I guess we’re the only ones left, Fred said to Daphne Dear.
But Daphne dear had already gone, he was alone with this thought.
A shadow person crept to the bed and did what they should not.
Fred jumped up and ran, screaming like a bobcat lit on fire.
The landlady claims it did not happen, that Fred is a liar.
A cock and a hen held a party
It caused chaos in the farm yard
Billy bull and a cow began mating
Of course it inspired this silly bard
A crafty spider wanted to join them
From her web spun with nylon not silk
But she wouldn’t drink at the party
And declared “I’m allergic to milk”
A piggy wig said, “I’ll lead the dancing”
But quite soon piggy began to wail
When a nasty old goat butted in
And spitefully pulled piggy’s tail
The noise from the barn was horrendous
Farmer Fred heard the cow loudly mooing
He dashed in with his pitchfork and rifle
Billy bull and the cow ceased their screwing!
Farmer Fred arrives, puce in the face
He asks, “Who arranged this soiree”?
The sneaky spider pointed all 8 fingers
Soon the fowl hosts lie dead in the hay!
The farmer starts to reload his rifle
All the party animals quickly disperse
The farmer’s wife cooks the fowl in the oven
And this is the end of this witty verse
Water is uniquely ancient, yet it hasn’t aged a day.
It’s older than Dr. Leakey’s bones.
Older than Olduvai Gorge.
Water is older than life itself,
Unaltered by evolution’s chaotic ebb and flow.
Undiminished, though redistributed,
Surviving every mass extinction,
While continually redeeming itself through the sacred trinity
Of evaporation, condensation, and precipitation. STOP!
All the water that exists today is all the water ever was,
Lapped at by pterodactyls and mastodons.
Slurped down. Pissed out.
Recycled over countless generations,
And though polluted, can ever be made clean,
Giving blood, and sweat, and tears
Their most obvious property:
An aqueous disposition at room temperature. STOP!
Water raining down. Water drying up.
Raining down. Drying up.
I naively let it fill my cup,
Conformed to the shape of my emptiness,
Because that’s the American way.
All or nothing at all. Love it or leave it alone. STOP!
Now I’m a wallflower every social hour,
Where cup half full and cup half empty
Cut the rug like Fred and Ginger. STOP!
My cup is full, but my dance card’s empty.
There’s no one here to even tempt me.
Billy Idol sang a song about that issue. STOP!
Hard water. Rock hard.
Hey, Culligan man! STOP!
AND WE HAVE A WINNER!
Men with invisible hair or grey manes
gravitate to city parks
by chance to meet each other.
They gather there to find long lost buddies
in the company of strangers.
The universe of unreliable coincidences,
attracts all such likely
to be parked by the same small duck pond
or some other place where old men
can remember the dead with the living
as a few mutually shared yesterdays.
There they catch up on imagined events
that were almost real once;
or once should have been real.
They may do not know each other’s surnames,
but Bob, Fred, and George
are content to sit there on a bench
as if they were idling buses
waiting for bus-stops to arrive.
Aunt Ethel said to Uncle Fred,
Let’s attempt the starfish in bed,
Old Ethel insisted,
Till Fred’s back got twisted,
They best stick to sleeping instead!
Original poem by Jan Allison
Fred couldn't stand and was writhing in pain
Ethel was mad and looked on with disdain
So he took a blue pill
Then went in for the kill
And now performs like a stallion again...
But the blue pills power started to wane
As Ethel begged him to do it again
But things came to a stop
Poor Fred started to flop
So they gave up and cracked open champagne...
Then Ethel got hold of a book
Fred fainted when he had a look
Twas the 'calmer suture'
Some poses may suit her
But Fred said it made him feel crook
Aunt Ethel said Freddie my dear
You truly have nothing to fear
Cos tonight’s the night
Much to my delight
We’re swinging from the chandelier!
Old Fred said I don’t understand
Your desire’s got right out of hand
If you want so much sex
Go next door and see Rex
He’s the randiest guy in the land
Aunt Ethel said you’re being silly
At aged ninety I’m no young filly
I still want to have sex
With you and not Rex
Cos Rexie’s got a tiny Willy!
The champers made Ethel quite woozy
Fred’s shattered so he had a snoozey
They were awoken at four
T'was Rex from next door
No thank you said Ethel I'm no floozy...
Collaboration with Tom Cunningham
06/02/21
Impossible mission, nonetheless
eschatological, diabolical, critical...
dire straits betokens armageddon.
Come Tuesday, November 3, 2020
mandatory voting obligation to oust
horrible malevolent commander in chief.
Spanish and English writing on border wall
bespeaks impending apocalyptic windfall
weapons of mass destruction concomitant ashfall
brinkmanship ticks doomsday clock, hence the call
muster civilians and military troops coup to marshall
tuckered bands overthrowing pathological
megalomaniac haint your
homegrown garden variety apprenticed screwball,
Née commandeer of human abuses free world oh God
this exclamation ejaculated yours truly house atheist
runs ruinously, reprehensibly, rampantly roughshod
scaring out bejesus within winkin blinkin and nod
land of powdermilk biscuits and raw bits promises
to become ground zero predicated boneheaded clod.
Atrocious, cantankerous, egregious,
grievous, ignominious... dispensing
most every venerated, ushered, touted,
sacred, revered, pronouncing
progressive amendments dead
on arrival blithely shredding to tatters
hard won reforms since Fred
Flintstone days of yore shelving
codied, ratified, sanctified... shed
jeweled important legislation,
plus Russian musk cows to wed
Putin on the ritz.
Blasphemous, cantankerous, deleterious...
execrable folly... doth seed
subsequently begetting and breed
anarchy, chaos, hell, plus helps
foment pernicious, ominous,
noxious, malodorous... misdeed
pitting one against another creed
internecine warfare, where liveried
troops don and trumpet
(auld) alternative energy
fighting gear powering, i.e. ac/dc freed
one or more dirty deed
done dirt cheap reducing at lightspeed,
the hard fought/won democratic
inalienable rights purportedly guaranteed
by United States constitution,
(though oft times bias, i.e. reed
anti semitism, charade, facade...) heed
trample equality, morality, universality...
making mockery (attested bleed
courtesy flagrant historical extant bigotry,
chicanery, depravity... greed).
Hence, I step off figurative soapbox
dodging any lobbed missiles or rocks
no surprise bullied by same jocks,
who tormented me during high school
probably tattooed, pierced, and bald of locks
unlike yours truly, he sports self
as aging pencil neck geek
wearing non matching shoes and socks.
The Land Before Time Spike and Ducky;
Not so lucky In The Land Before Time;
Littlefoot has a giant foot compared to us humans;
Humble Tyrannosaurus Rex, what a mess, dinosaurs-for children;
Reptar is everywhere ice-shows, cereals in everything and he's so fair;
How hysterical he gets about everything,
He's a loyal toy, dinosaur;
That always looks out for his friends
Great works of the great lizard lord;
While being awesome in his own right, Reptar;
Dino is the best friend a caveman could have;
Always forever licking and knocking down Fred, dinosaurs-for children
Yippy, Yippy, Yippy, yap;
Loyal, affectionate, protective, and lovable ;
All necessary qualities for a pet dog dinosaur;
Especially we love the purple snorkasaurus, Gateway to Godzilla
The journey of Aladar the Iguanodon the displaced dinosaur;
Aladar finally settles down and with babies in Iguanodon honey;
Where’s the irony, T-Rex, Rex is your guy where his glory;
You’ll find him with others in a Toy Story, dinosaurs-for children
Despite how hysterical he gets, he’s a stand up sort of T-Rex;
Waddles back and forth, has a soothing voice monster tall stature…
All those dinosaurs for children gateway to Godzilla;
6/24/19
DINOSAUR(S) - FOR CHILDREN Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Line Gauthier