Long Forgivenessme Poems
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It was in I in word and deed
I followed my own lust
You suffered and died the Price of Peace
Even I being evil you looked past the leper in me
The spotted ringstraked the one lost sheep
It was I in word and deed
In your full view nothing was hid
Even I being evil you looked past the leper in me
From stolen penny candy to the torturing grayfish
to king of the ant hill to drunkenness of endless filth
Blushing now for sin I committed then
It was I in word and deed
The lying raping to the hypocrite on the bus
In a word I thought I knew better
You suffered and died the Price of Peace
Even I being evil you looked past the leper in me
It was I in word and deed
Brawling stealing adulterous hurting killing tongue
Even I as I begun in word and deed
I followed my own lust
You suffered and died the Price of Peace
Even I being evil looked past the leper in me
Jesus is risen in deed
An ocean of emotion like debris in the surf,
My heart is what's left shipwrecked on the turf.
Shells of solid sadness, clear and sheer, side by side.
Behind my insanity, the vanity causes me to cry.
In spite of contrite, I did do you so wrong.
But friends, reprieve deciet subdued so long.
Sorrow and remorse you also feel inside.
But much greater is the misery I vastly reside.
Hide abuse, aside excuse, so many regrets and mess,
Serving a ration of compassion hosted by my distress.
Diction cannot douse, nor purify by plea.
No wrong have my friends ever done to me.
I aspire to fret in full regret, no matter the low,
To prove to you, my love to show, I implore you to know.
Watch me plummet from my own personal hell.
Rip me from your friendship spell.
But all the follies I submit,
Exceed in numbers to commit.
Comb every strand of sand or land, if lost.
Scour towers not within power, for worthy the cost,
Deliver you from the arms of harm, who dare alarm,
If enemy then mine, surrender offender by forced disarm.
But unaware of villain share, heartless hands accused are mine,
Banished by benevolence, the condemned, I’m the crime!
Withdrawal I endure from head to toe flows to finger.
Although crucial the course, the wreath of grief lingers.
Invented intentions conceived with cradled care.
Yet in these lives, care I did not share.
Scorn me friends, teach me my lesson.
Send me to the spot light of depression.
Impressions left I'm powerless to undo.
Even still, my friends, I always loved you.
I can ramble on for lingering hours,
Wallowing over mournful showers.
Just, I can't bear to continue anymore.
After washing my mind upon the shore.
Only time will unfold my fate.
I'm just changing for my own sake.
Form:
Could explode any minute
Every second you spend with me could be your last
Yet you still love your ticking time bomb.
I don’t mean to blow up in you face
It was all uncociously done
Yet you hold me tighter
As dangerous as it its
You still love your ticking time bomb.
I wish you wouldn’t though
It would be much easier on me
I don’t want to hurt you
But it would be impossible for me to leave
Because there’s no one else out there
That would dare love a ticking time bomb.
But the lit match follows me every where I go
The burns from previous explosions will forever remain on you perfect face
Time may heal, but it won’t repair them fully.
At any time the fuse will run out
I shudder at the thought
I know that I could kill you
But like a moth to a Fire…
I’m drawn to you
Locked forever in you gaze.
With the timer ticking backwards far to fast
Tick
Tick
Tick
But you ignore the loud ticking and the hidden flames
Because you still love your ticking time bomb.
Masked timer
The end is unknown
But I know in the depths of my fiery heart that the time is near
And I twill be a fatal blow.
But overseeing what’s true
And focusing on the present time
You still love you ticking time bomb.
Tick
Tick
Tick
Louder it is now
Racing with the beating of my heart
You hold me even tighter keeping me close
I force myself away trying to keep you out of harms way
But you love your ticking time bomb
So with me you stay.
Sweat accumulates and tears roll down
Heart pounding
I feel so helpless
I know I wont be able to save you from myself
I look into your eyes
Your beautiful forgiving eyes
A final kiss…
The ticking stops and the fire hits it’s end
.
.
.
.
.
And you will always love your ticking time bomb.
If this is what I have to live with,
all the messed up things I did,
well find a way to relive time
before that messed up midnight chime.
To relive the way I hurt you girl
all this pain is just a swirl
of angry oceans, violent voices,
because I overlooked the choices.
But you were young and I was cold
I'd take it back for me to hold
you gently in my palm
until the oceans have turned calm,
but knowing what I know right now
I hope you understand just how
I had to leave your body lying
in that gutter slowly trying
to catch a breath, to break a sweat,
to struggle with thoughts of regret.
But time was short I made a choice
to give up on that pretty voice.
One step forward two steps back
I'm ready for your heart attack.
But ill be home, you'll see me soon
under the shade of midnight moon
so I can leave you once again
and leave you with that dreadful pain.
We both know that I have no say
just know that soon it will be that day
when you put your self onto a plane
to be with me and then ill say,
“We made it here through thick and thin
and all this pain was my own sin
to bare upon my wounded chest
but now its time for us to rest
for we are here we made it through
theirs nothing left for us to do,
but live like angles with ourselves
we'll put the past upon a shelf
let it cover up with dust
and cover us with needed lust.”
But I know no one can hurt you like I do.
I know this is true.
But now it is over,
I am here sober
to tell you
I love you.
Its and indescribable feeling to see you smile,
one last time, through all of our trials.
my angel,
this is for you.
too many late nights out with who knows who
coming home and masturbating to a ***** instead of making love
slapping and pushing me around after coming home drunk
telling me you were out with friends smelling like purfume
lipstick stains around the whole on your boxer shorts
finding your wedding ring in the ashtray of the car
late night and early morning phone calls that you reject
calling out sick to work to sneak off with eyvette
finding the bed sheets on the floor with wet spots on them
blond pubic hairs on the toliet seat when yours are black
not taking me out in public in the daylight hours
screaming her name at me when we fought ooops you forgot
stealing money from our account to go and get high
then turn around and tell me its all a friggen lie
not going to my mothers funeral or my grandfathers too
abandoning me when i went to prison leaving me all alone
sleeping with my little sister and blaming it on the alcohol
leaving in one outfit returning two days later in something new
changing your cell phone number and not giving it to me
locking me out the house and calling the police
you creep
these are the many things i forgive you for
i love you so much i need this to say goodbye
love and forgiveness comes hand and hand
loving and knowing when to walk away is hell
..............................for the jim fish love and forgiveness contest...............................
Form:
All I want to do is drown in my sorrow.
If not, I’ll drown my sorrow.
If that doesn’t work, I’ll drown myself.
Either way, some part of me has to die.
I can’t go on like this…
What is expected of me is something that is beyond my reach.
I won’t even get to the top of a mountain if I reach for the stars…
No. Never. Not ever.
So I’ll find my answers at the bottom of this glass.
Or the next one.
Or the next one…
Either way, I’ll drink some more.
I’ll be fine.
I don’t care.
But you… you won’t dare.
Yes, you’ve seen it all before!
Your friend died the same way I am sure to go.
But there’s a difference.
I’m not like them…
Those wretched people who claim to be decent,
But when you turn away they curse you and mock you for who you are.
But I’ll be here as usual.
Drowning in my sorrows.
Or drowning my sorrows.
Or drowning myself…
Either way, some part of me will be dead.
And you’ll be here still.
Wishing you helped me earlier.
Just you see…
Went to school today.
But I got sent home.
I was found in a corner on my own.
An empty bottle said it all.
All I remember is they were laughing.
Laughing at my stupidity.
But I’m not stupid. I tried to be good. I tried! I tried to ask for help…
But even when I try, it never seems to work.
No. Never. Not ever.
So I’ll just sit here
Drowning in my sorrows.
Or drowning my sorrows.
Or drowning myself.
Either way, if you wait a bit…
I will soon be dead.
Form:
Was he a great father,
like the others were?
Should I indefinitely hate him,
and still despise his arrogance...
when I asked for understanding?
I saw less and less of that father figure,
as he occupied himself with wrongdoings,
neglecting a child's feelings...
His blood still runs through my veins,
and this undeniable truth is the intruder
that should make me aware of his faults:
when temptation surpasses judgement,
and silence is a dreadful deceiver...
to keep everything to myself,
and subside any sublime emotion about to rise,
which any good soul should be able to express!
Father, you are dead...buried for decades
into the family's well-kept chapel;
all that is missing is the sight of an angel,
and my presence to mourn your death!
How can you justify yourself,
if the grave won't allow anyone to speak?
Before death carried you to a different place,
where all senses cease to induce a long sleep,
none other than certitude afflicted me
more than a condemnation so cruel
from an endless God of mercy!
If Hell is only for the wicked ones,
and Heaven is only for the good ones;
why do we need a Judgement Day?
Let my opinion be so controversial,
to oppose a doctrine that's so universal!
His blood still runs through my veins,
and these genes are a reflection of what he was alike;
and to repress my gender and be ashamed of him,
would be wrong and dishonorable on my part!
I Hope my dear you never resented me. Please do not ever set me free. Cause i still do love
you so, and Where else will i go. For our love over the years has grown And no one can
forsee the unknown. No one knows me better than you. Please dear don't tell me we're
through. You've always been here for me when I've been blue. I know at times i talk too
much. But i still love your touch. We have only just begun. And i'm so sorry for all I've done.
But you shouldn't have any doubts. Cause i want to work this out. Yes We've been through
good and bad. Of course some were happy and some were sad. I feel it has made us both
strong. Why can't we both just get along. Tell me where did we go wrong. My love for you
will always be there. And that i will always care. Please won't you come back, so we can get
back on track. We should never give up on each other. Cause we're no good without one
another. Where do we go from here. Please tell me i have nothing to fear. The question here
is should we part or should we stay. Please don't ever go away. Unless we have nothing else
left to say And i want you to know i have always loved being your wife. And my dear i want
it to be for the rest of my life. We should thank the lord above for what we have together
and for our love. A Poem by T. A. K.
I Hope my dear you never resented me. Please do not ever set me free. Cause i still do love
you so, and Where else will i go. For our love over the years has grown And no one can
forsee the unknown. No one knows me better than you. Please dear don't tell me we're
through. You've always been here for me when I've been blue. I know at times i talk too
much. But i still love your touch. We have only just begun. And i'm so sorry for all I've done.
But you shouldn't have any doubts. Cause i want to work this out. Yes We've been through
good and bad. Of course some were happy and some were sad. I feel it has made us both
strong. Why can't we both just get along. Tell me where did we go wrong. My love for you
will always be there. And that i will always care. Please won't you come back, so we can get
back on track. We should never give up on each other. Cause we're no good without one
another. Where do we go from here. Please tell me i have nothing to fear. The question here
is should we part or should we stay. Please don't ever go away. Unless we have nothing else
left to say And i want you to know i have always loved being your wife. And my dear i want
it to be for the rest of my life. We should thank the lord above for what we have together
and for our love. A Poem by T. A. K.
Don’t involve me in your suicide!
Did you see me coming,
On that lonely alpine bend?
Nowhere to turn,
Cliff wall to the right,
River to the left.
I hit the brakes,
But you kept coming.
Just stay in your lane!
The A.M. shift would miss me this morning.
Instead, they would pry me from my smoking car.
Pain breaking across me with every gasp.
Thanks! I spent Thanksgiving in the I.C.U.
They carefully knitted my bones with titanium.
I have a metal souvenir in my knee.
The scars have mostly faded now.
A plastic surgeon reattached my nose.
Still as good looking as ever.
You could have carried more car insurance.
I spent it well.
But I have questions.
What were you drinking that night?
Why did you try to drive?
Why did you choose me?
Guess it doesn’t matter now!
It was you last drink.
The front end of my car was your last vision.
It is eerie to be apart of a stranger’s death.
Even just as a misfortunate target.
Our opposing forces snuffed your life.
You did not suffer like I did.
I still remember their coded description.
D.O.A. (Better known as dead on arrival.)
If somehow I could say three words,
To your drunken face,
It would sound like this,
“I forgive you.”