Long Forgivenesslife Poems
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Dad, this my apology and a prayer of farewell.
To you and me.
So maybe I can feel that you have forgiven me.
And all the things in my life now make since.
Your sad gray eyes haunt me at night.
I can never forget that you have left.
I can’t seem to let go because it feels as I am letting go of my past.
Goodbye to a little girl who misses the comfort of being a daddy’s girl.
Goodbye to cuddles at night and chocolate-chip pancakes in the morning.
I cried for your soul and hope that your happy where you are.
Please send me a sign so I know your al right.
Goodbye to memories of a man singing as he played his guitar with his soul.
How can I explain the pain when I remember my life as before.
Goodbye to the roughness of your cheek each time I kissed you goodbye.
I have forever changed and feel I haven’t ever made you proud.
So now I long to pick up a phone and call to say “Hi!”.
I would have given my life just for a hour to tell you thanks.
I need your courage and strength when life strikes me down.
Goodbye to stern lectures of life.
I miss seeing your face and laughter when it rains.
Or how your face lighten up when my children yelled,,“Grandpa!”.
I never thought it would ever end up this way.
I feel that chance played a hard joke on us and now I am paying for it.
I just can’t get past this because your not here to guide me through this.
So I sit and ponder on streams full of memories and times that seemed so long gone.
Like the vast ocean I drown away trying to drift back to some kind of sanity.
I close my eyes and here the jingle-jangle of your keys as you limp on by.
I miss the pat on the back or the tightness of my hand enclosed in yours to reassure me it
would be al right.
I think of so many goodbye to you..
Goodbye to the way your hair stood up after waking up.
Or how we laughed when you snored.
Goodbye to yelling at the boys when they were misbehaving.
But the most that always hurt is the goodbye to you.
Because it seems that centuries have passed since I last saw you.
Even if it’s been a few years.
The world is cruel and I often wonder what to do?
I question that this is the end, for the pain isn’t gone.
It consumes my soul as I try to go on.
As a reminder of finer things in life.
I look to the sky and search for a sign that you are up there somewhere near by as always
before.
(06/26/11)
His entire life was in his pocket
Starting from his daughters hair locket.
A few pictures of him and his family
Reminding him of how things used to be.
A crumbled up note saying:
Daddy ! I love you - I want you home.
This is where you belong.
The divorce had not gone too well
He had put his family through a living hell.
He felt the pressures getting to him
Of things he did and places he’d been
Of a life that he had been ashamed
He turned to alcohol to ease the pain.
They say with friends he had been
Who Turned to crime and to sin.
they convinced him that
This business was easy prey
And with this they could get away.
He got caught and served some time
Got out of jail and was doing fine.
Then he ran across the same old crowd
Drinking in a bar and getting loud.
Since he had met them his life had changed
He left the bar in a fit of rage.
This rage soon opened up his mind
And he fell to the floor and began to cry.
He asked himself: how is it ! that we lose our way
We leave our families and go astray.
How is it ! That love is like wine
It gets you drunk and leaves you blind.
How is it ! That we fall under loves spell
It makes us happy- or it puts us thru hell.
How is it ! That we see faults in others
But not in ourselves.
Do we think that we could hide it
And no one can tell.
He was putting the blame on him falling in love
And wanting to give his family so much more
That he lost himself and forgot the score.
He recalled: I once felt like a king on his throne
And now I’m left all alone.
I knew what it was like to make love
Under the stars above.
I would feel your heart beating on top of mine
And thought that we’d be together till the end of time.
Those beautiful nights and those fantastic days
Where I would make love to you in every way.
Like a fool I let this all slip away.
He found religion on that night
Turned his life around, and began his plight
He would fight to get his family back
He would not give up the slack.
The pains of divorce changed his way
And he knew he would never stray.
His wife saw the change in him
And decided to take him back in.
His daughter now happy as can be
Because once again she had her family.
Most of your life I may have missed
But I still remember when we first kissed
The first couple years went really well
We we're on top of the world and all could tell
I would fish while you were fast asleep
Now all we have are those few memories to keep
My heart breaks and my eyes quickly swell
Because instead of you I chose a life of living hell
I think of you often every single day
Wondering if our paths will some time go the same way
We haven't talked or e-mailed in so long
The pain of it all is really heavy and way to strong
Knowing that for me it's more then to late
What to do next I think about and wait
Realizing you owe nothing at all to me
I hope , pray, and live that one day again you I will see
Yet as my life comes closer to an end
You are just getting ready for yours to begin
Love for you I always have felt
At the sight of somethings I would simply melt
Didn't take long and I couldn't live without a little crutch
But I let control my life so very much
For big losses there are only a few
That could only be grandpa and all the years lost from you
Maybe my approach will never get through
Still I sit here tear running down my cheek
Because I am a new person no longer weak
Now I ramble on with so much to say
But most of all I Love and Miss you every single day!
The tears I fight and don't want anyone to see
This pain I can not blame on anyone but me!
An Uncle Charlie Original
© 2010 unclecharlie
This stress is more than maybe I can bear.
I am beginning to see Life truly is not fair.
Those baby cow eyes looking back at me.
A weight I feel in my soul so significantly.
My mind is in such a state of disarray.
It is days like today that I look up and say,
One more pea on my plate, is all it will take.
Just one more pea, and the stupid thing will break.
Mental strife and I'm yelling at yours truly.
"Shut up, just shut up!", very cruelly.
How did I end up on this mental ledge?
Pushing myself further from the edge.
Its those sweet nothings you whispered in my ear.
I gave way letting go of all my bottled up fear.
Maybe I should have held on just for a little while.
Instead I fell in love with your tantalizing smile.
So now here I sit on the corner of heartache and despair.
Thinking I know never should have even been there.
I guess I learned my lesson and I'll just go from here.
Take care in this life and I hope you're happy dear.
When you die people say
You fade away while you lay
While they stay on the ground
Your spirit flies with no sound
Now you see the gates of heaven
Eternal life is in less the seven
Are you ready to say good bye
To all your friends and family you left behind
With GOD and Jesus Christ standing there
Now we’ll see who acting scared
Now that your not the bigger one
Waving around that gun,
killing people just for fun
GOD doesn’t even look in your eyes
Why do you look so surprised
Now you know what’s coming next
Your eternal life will be spent in hell,
With burning flash and horrible smells
Now you got nothing to say
With your life ending this way
Now your falling to the pits of hell
But first GOD stop you
To say so well…
If I give you one more chance
You better make this one last
No stupid mess up or..
it will be your ass
Form:
Electrodes electrify in currents so sporadic,
Never leading to objectives but moving with purpose,
Electrolytes breaks down to iron that stays erratic.
And the purpose still erodes to being worthless.
The body is an ecosystem in itself,
Brainwaves fluctuating in perfect unison,
And my life's aura seems to cause stability to melt.
While your beings duplicates seems to do you in.
Parts of the brain one can only emphasize for empathy,
And the bodies vivid power of remembrance fades,
All parasites have an opposite but life has no remedy.
And the windows to souls shuts and always jades.
Resemblance requires the minds recall of images,
And in my chest Ive filled a hole,
In dream land i quickly loose sympathy and other appendages.
And i sleep so life doesn't steal my soul.
Something really happens strange in life ;
Which leaves us with life destroying,
Difficulties over miles and miles,
Those happenings with the tragedies in life.
My life is destroyed with the;
Arrival of certain occasional happenings.
The life is not life without name and fame,
By the upcoming time,through which I am blamed.
If I get a chance again, I would;
Really try hard again to repay-
The depth of my early happenings;
With hard work and my good timings.
I will destroy myself, if I,
Will be unable to keep my words.
Those words to avoid my future happenings,
With the upcoming of failure timings.
I am now in the middle of,
The deep sea floating courageously.
In a lonely boat waiting for the ,
Happenings to lead or to end my life bravely.
As I sit and watch the sun settle down,
I think of life in itself.
I think about the ups and downs,
I think about the better and the worse.
As I sit and watch the sun say its final goodbyes,
I think about the way things used to be.
I think about what it means to be me,
I think about why things happen the way they do.
As I sit and watch the sun disappear beyond the horizon,
I know what I want in life.
I want to be the me that I've always been,
I want to be the me that believes in God.
As I sit and watch the darkening sky,
I feel that I have faith.
I feel that life is renewed,
I feel like me.
Form: