Long Forgivenesslife Poems
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(06/26/11)
His entire life was in his pocket
Starting from his daughters hair locket.
A few pictures of him and his family
Reminding him of how things used to be.
A crumbled up note saying:
Daddy ! I love you - I want you home.
This is where you belong.
The divorce had not gone too well
He had put his family through a living hell.
He felt the pressures getting to him
Of things he did and places he’d been
Of a life that he had been ashamed
He turned to alcohol to ease the pain.
They say with friends he had been
Who Turned to crime and to sin.
they convinced him that
This business was easy prey
And with this they could get away.
He got caught and served some time
Got out of jail and was doing fine.
Then he ran across the same old crowd
Drinking in a bar and getting loud.
Since he had met them his life had changed
He left the bar in a fit of rage.
This rage soon opened up his mind
And he fell to the floor and began to cry.
He asked himself: how is it ! that we lose our way
We leave our families and go astray.
How is it ! That love is like wine
It gets you drunk and leaves you blind.
How is it ! That we fall under loves spell
It makes us happy- or it puts us thru hell.
How is it ! That we see faults in others
But not in ourselves.
Do we think that we could hide it
And no one can tell.
He was putting the blame on him falling in love
And wanting to give his family so much more
That he lost himself and forgot the score.
He recalled: I once felt like a king on his throne
And now I’m left all alone.
I knew what it was like to make love
Under the stars above.
I would feel your heart beating on top of mine
And thought that we’d be together till the end of time.
Those beautiful nights and those fantastic days
Where I would make love to you in every way.
Like a fool I let this all slip away.
He found religion on that night
Turned his life around, and began his plight
He would fight to get his family back
He would not give up the slack.
The pains of divorce changed his way
And he knew he would never stray.
His wife saw the change in him
And decided to take him back in.
His daughter now happy as can be
Because once again she had her family.
This stress is more than maybe I can bear.
I am beginning to see Life truly is not fair.
Those baby cow eyes looking back at me.
A weight I feel in my soul so significantly.
My mind is in such a state of disarray.
It is days like today that I look up and say,
One more pea on my plate, is all it will take.
Just one more pea, and the stupid thing will break.
Mental strife and I'm yelling at yours truly.
"Shut up, just shut up!", very cruelly.
How did I end up on this mental ledge?
Pushing myself further from the edge.
Its those sweet nothings you whispered in my ear.
I gave way letting go of all my bottled up fear.
Maybe I should have held on just for a little while.
Instead I fell in love with your tantalizing smile.
So now here I sit on the corner of heartache and despair.
Thinking I know never should have even been there.
I guess I learned my lesson and I'll just go from here.
Take care in this life and I hope you're happy dear.
Most of your life I may have missed
But I still remember when we first kissed
The first couple years went really well
We we're on top of the world and all could tell
I would fish while you were fast asleep
Now all we have are those few memories to keep
My heart breaks and my eyes quickly swell
Because instead of you I chose a life of living hell
I think of you often every single day
Wondering if our paths will some time go the same way
We haven't talked or e-mailed in so long
The pain of it all is really heavy and way to strong
Knowing that for me it's more then to late
What to do next I think about and wait
Realizing you owe nothing at all to me
I hope , pray, and live that one day again you I will see
Yet as my life comes closer to an end
You are just getting ready for yours to begin
Love for you I always have felt
At the sight of somethings I would simply melt
Didn't take long and I couldn't live without a little crutch
But I let control my life so very much
For big losses there are only a few
That could only be grandpa and all the years lost from you
Maybe my approach will never get through
Still I sit here tear running down my cheek
Because I am a new person no longer weak
Now I ramble on with so much to say
But most of all I Love and Miss you every single day!
The tears I fight and don't want anyone to see
This pain I can not blame on anyone but me!
An Uncle Charlie Original
© 2010 unclecharlie