Long Exterminator Poems
Long Exterminator Poems. Below are the most popular long Exterminator by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Exterminator poems by poem length and keyword.
COCKROACH...!!!
Scream my desperate daughters ...
- Mom, kill the cockroach ...!
I ask because mom
and not the father ...!?
- What's the reason for not
dad ...!?
They answer in chorus:
- Dad crushes ... and we
cannot stand... !
- Mom, kill with class,
with insecticide ... let it
dizzy ...!
So, here at home,
is she the woman who
is the exterminator of the future!
of cockroaches ...!
"Book Worms" Posted 1 Feb 2021
i'm reading a book about anti-gravity I can't put it down
that bio of Led Zeppelin's guitarist is a real Page turner
don't miss this: "Dummies For Dummies" by Charlie McCarthy and Lamb Chop
i'll admit there is a time and place for books in my hand and right now
in one college course we read books about candy the class was Choc Lit
today I got hit on the head by a book I have my shelf to blame
[humor attribution: all humor found online of unknown origin]
"But Weight, There's More" Posted 8 Feb 2021
for some of us during COVID overeating is a weigh of life
when i feel plump i tell myself i'm not overweight, i'm undertall
those who sell books on dieting are living off the fat of the land
darwin's theory of sumo wrestling the survival of the fattest
during lockdown, i'm on the seafood diet i see food, i eat it
i saw my doctor and asked him what kind of shape i'm in he said "pear"
[humor attribution - all were found online, of unknown origin]
"Groucho Marx Edition" Posted 15 Feb 2021
if i said you had a gorgeous body would you hold it against me?
i would never belong to a club that would have me as a member
be open minded but not so open minded that your brains fall out
i never forget a face but in your case, i'll make an exception
i have had a perfectly wonderful evening but this wasn't it
those are my principles and if you don't like them, well, I have others
All humor attributed to the inimitable Groucho Marx
"Occupational Hazards" Posted 22 Feb 2021
my dentist's motto be true to your teeth or they will be false to you
bakers trade recipes with each other on a knead to know basis
I called a budget exterminator he came with a flyswatter
the butcher backed into the meat grinder and got behind in his work
a back- and neck-straightener in Egypt is called a Cairo practer
don't call me a plumber I am a "broker in new and used water"
[Humor attribution - all humor found online, attribution unknown]
How shall I begin,
we say we're not a couple,
but we had been living together
since I don't know when.
Why I can tell you how the day will go
by the way she breaks wind.
Now I'll say good morning,
no matter which end of her speaks first.
She'll excuse herself
and run off to the bathroom,
for some water
and the medication in her purse.
Being a man,
I'll at least open a window,
and wonder which end
of her is more intelligent.
You see with me
She doesn't waste any time
speaking her mind,
So, as a gentleman.
I only listen to the end that wears lipstick.
Now I've been told that a lady,
doesn’t fart or break wind, they either
poot, pass gas or lose their manners.
But if you ask me it all smells the same.
As she walks around
making her little musical sounds.
It has the added side effect of us
not needing an exterminator.
As a man, blessed with a poor since of smell.
My need to ventilate the room as you can tell,
is more to for the health of my house plants.
Who are at this moment
trying to jump out the window.
Now don’t get me wrong,
she is a lovely woman.
Her figure and grace
I will describe
as poetry in motion.
She moves with a carefree coordination
that would make you a fan
of her ability to walk and chew bubble gum.
It’s like Wrigley’s invented
chewing gum just for her.
I can do it tomorrow, I think, feeling good in my pajamas.
Isn’t this Monday? My husband asks.
Drat! I thought it was Sunday.
Have I already had two days off?
I look at the clock.
I teach school virtually in three minutes.
“Mrs. K are you wearing your pajamas again?”
I thought it was pajama day, I lie.
I do this every week.
The kids start giving me advice.
They all want to help me.
Why do you put everything off to the last second? My husband asks.
Why don’t you go catch the mouse in my new car? I suggest
We are both the world’s biggest procrastinators.
It is good we found each other
So we do not have to drive anyone else mad
with our “last second, last minute” last chance efforts.
Our children are going to hate us when we die.
Look at all the messes they get to clean, and there are mice here.
Every day we say we are going to call an exterminator.
Every day for the last thirteen years. Have we done it? Not yet.
But we are going to….Our mantra.
Lady bug
Lady bug lady bug it is fun to play and look at you,
you seem to increase in size whenever we live in some place new,
you hide in my toy, you hide in my closet
what am I am going to do with you?
Lady bug lady bug look at you, when I turn on the lights
you run with your friends and fly away too.
Lady bug Lady Bug
I am getting tired of you, you run and
alluding me in to my shoes, even when I am over you,
eating my food, you look and seem
you want me to bless you to.
Lady bug lady bug I am not having fun with you,
I am getting my mom and dad to get the
exterminator to get with you and your crew.
This poem is about a five years old kid who never saw North and
South American cockroach in his young life.
Poetry 11/26/10 by Keith Kadell
was skipping through my bathroom one day
about to land in my office, when an inner voice yelled hey!
Turn on the light first, which I had never done, but did it this time.
Saw a six foot black rat snake, stopped my bare feet just in time.
If I had landed on the snake, he would have no doubt taken a bite.
Rat snakes are not poisonous but being bitten is not a delight.
I have been bitten by a snake once before.
I shuddered at having this creature in my house; shut the bathroom door.
cost of snake-remover eradicating this creature is five hundred dollars.
An exterminator came out, then we heard his hollers.
Poet of Perkiomen Valley
discovered aforementioned titled poem
about thirty months ago he wrote
impossible mission critters to smote
chronic issue yours truly does note
years later meaning today
April 19th, 2022
necessitated we allow, enable
and provide welcome to exterminator
actually management did hote
(obsolete) To command; to enjoin
hazard upon body, mind and spirit,
thus ridding apartment b44
visited by said swarming insects,
his expertise sought to mitigate
courtesy applying insecticide.
Insects created dark shadows
analogous brought outer limits
of twilight zone
resembling edge of night
in truth our one bedroom apartment
at that earlier date
affected, encroached, and outsmarted
by massive infestation of
Drosophila melanogaster light
weight winged worst
pests to eradicate
(scientific name regarding
winged flitting nuisance ignite
mentioned in title) besieged,
inundated, and thickly swarm.
dost primp and pretty
fie themselves (to
attract a witty
mate) during their
40 to 50 days city,
or suburban life
cycle long enough
to qualify for this
quickly written ditty
seemingly overnight
a bajillion biz zee
buzzing adults (each
about 1/8 inch long see
their world wide web,
thru at least one
unusual red eye,
which compound eye
of the fruit fly
contains 760 unit
eyes or ommatidia, well nigh
hapt tubby one of the most
advanced among insects,
where Google search
for home remedies aye
didst find to exterminate
these teeny weeny pests,
plus informational pursuit my
instantaneous curiosity yielded
above mentioned
esoteric tidbits,
sans accidentally disc
covered helpful good riddance
material of household ingredients
restraining me to breathe sigh
of dollop, and hope to try
one or more solutions,
which informed
this amateur entomologist -
listed forthright as:
1. Create a trap by mixing
apple cider vinegar
with a few drops of dish soap.
2. Another homemade trap is to
pour leftover red wine into a jar.
3. Mash up banana slices in a jar, and
cover top with a plastic wrap.
4. Pour bleach solution
into bathroom sink.
5. Detonate atomic explosives
as a last resort.
Clean and empty vacant spot
Built to make sure you thoroughly rot
Spacious area, room to grow
For a lot cheaper than it ought to go
Nice little path for a flower bed
An ex barber next door to shave your head
Down the road whilst our children sleep
City workers clean our streets
A little lively towards the nights eve
But still enough serenity allowing you to believe
Christening are twice a week
Or counseling and guidance other days of the week
Down the street and around the block
Are places corpses hang and talk?
How much money in your pocket child
I’ve got a price it’s listed on file
Still unsure well move aside
There’s another person waiting in line
Well considering just who you are
Part of your payment could come from the stars
Wait sir please don’t run
Just a few more questions then I’ll be dun
Are you sure it’s been properly infected
After all I may not need to be resurrected
And must the exterminator always be near
Perhaps in the contract it wasn’t quite clear
And finally before I sign this page
When do the vermin get their chance on stage?
Plot 4 sale
Spacious plot 4 sale
Empty vacant plot 4 sale
Is it in heaven or is it in hell
Driving through the neighborhood in a shiny armored truck,
The exterminator arrives, looking to make a few hundred bucks.
He goes from door to door and asks to come inside:
And he already knows there's nowhere the pests can hide.
The exterminator swatted a mosquito and says, "You've got to G-O!"
He stepped on a cucaracha with his boots and said, "Gotcha!"
Then he sprayed some termites and told them, "Good night."
He got rid of a wasp and some annoying bees.
"Sorry, y'all," he said. "You're not stinging me."
And after he roasted a housefly, he yelled, "Bye-bye!"
The people were astounded as these insects were grounded.
Although the weather was hot and muggy,
The exterminator yelled, "Hasta la vista, buggy!"
This handsome brother was in complete control.
You can call him butter because he's on a roll!
Then the exterminator caught some mice and rats.
He laughed at them and said, "You ain't getting up from that!"
But what about the spiders, you ask?
The exterminator hired them to make special masks.
"Praiseworthy work," the Mayor exclaimed.
"The neighborhood is safe and the vermin were tamed."
Our hero smiled with glee as he was handed his fee.
"Thank you all," he said. "And now I must flea. (Get it?)
I'll be back again soon. Until then, see you later."
And this concludes the story of the groovy exterminator.
I think of a past lover,
One lost now in the machinery of time,
but that’s just a poet’s conceit,
she has built a castle
where she now rules dozen of white mice,
one of those twitchy loyal rodents
has my face.
Far better to see her
wandering in a maze of sweet sorrow
as she recalls our brief liaisons.
I can write a poem about that,
nothing with her not giving a damn about me
or a day after we parted
dismissing me from her thoughts forever.
No, I will rewrite the past and the future,
maybe get the exterminator to call
regarding the mouse problem.
Clutch my chest
to indicate a broken heart,
think of an ending that won’t leave folks
wondering just what kind of a looser I am.