Long Eeyore Poems

Long Eeyore Poems. Below are the most popular long Eeyore by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Eeyore poems by poem length and keyword.


Snow Showers Earlier Today December 9th 2020 Yielded Negligible Accumulation

Snow showers earlier today December 9th, 2020 yielded negligible accumulation

Though anyone who saw
and/or watched local news would be more wise
the brief flurry of crystalline precipitation
came as a complete surprise,
cuz yours truly prefers
getting strangled courtesy neckties
versus being given spoiler alert
subsequently forced to give reciprocal highfives.

I generally skirt tracking the weather,
nevertheless the missus would pantomime,
née blurts out with glee
meteorological conditions occurring here
out the skies above second Street
within Schwenksville, Pennsylvania.

No rhyme nor reason prevails
necessitating yours truly to hear and/or see
what mother nature doth hold in store
concerning (Delaware, Chester,
and Montgomery) tri county locale
sometimes loosely referred to
as comprising Delaware Valley

a geographical area coterminous with
metropolitan statistical area (MSA)
and broader combined statistical area (CSA),
and composed of counties located in
Southeastern Pennsylvania, South Jersey,
Delaware, and the Eastern Shore of Maryland.

As a lifetime resident - 19473 zip code
regarding aforementioned place name,
I can ofttimes intimate
how the forecast will bode
especially if adequate hours spent outdoors,

more so when yours truly
lived at 3224 Level Road
which less likely as ole man winter
huffs and puffs with braggadocio
rarely ripping, riffing, and riding
piggyback with nor'easter.

Interestingly enough global warming
affected dramatic climate change
during course of mine lifetime,
where Currier and Ives rural
linkedin with good n plenti grange,
where agrarian lifestyle might seem strange
to urban outfitters constituting population.

Truth be told, I fondly remember those days of yore
when countless unbroken acres of greenery
whereat in Arcola a cider mill vestige
of American/British Revolutionary War
perhaps e'en centuries before frequented by troubadour
named Shakespeare, quite sad

to narrate hundreds of years postwar
(meaning that brouhaha incorporating
Declaration of Independence)
long since derelict and sold
possibly by family with surname Knorr,
(methinks his first name Ignoramus nickname Ig)
who strongly exhibited demeanor of Eeyore.


Virility Imperiled Manhood Emasculated Mine

Virility Imperiled Manhood Emasculated (mine)

No sense of accomplishment prevails to date
analogous to kudzu... inadequacy runs rampant
recurring theme extant within poetic endeavors,
and often discussed with assigned therapist (one
among many girls named Stephanie Dodds) do
GOOGLE search and see for yourself – similar

curiosity got the better of me, whose christened
name (Matthew Scott Harris), not unique to yours
truly, a poem, which theme pertaining to aforesaid
first, middle, and last namesake already written by
none other other than this scrivener) impacted self
esteem less so than inchoate nascently, pervasively

rampantly,... thrashing unleashed upon impression
hubble early (perhaps even in utero) formative days
of milne eeyore whinnying pooh wrenching, ruing
jackknifing...unsmiling, lamenting childhood's end
upon cusp debilitating psychological tragedy, where
whatsapp pining within me present mindset lodged

nexus, sans linkedin destructive buzzfeeding apathy
mired potential vitality (crying evinced powerful
lungs) quickly succumbing against brutish, nasty,
yet not short reign of innate oppression, fixation
abnegation with dereliction, asper self preservation
engendering feeble gesticulation harkening incipient

personhood crowdsourcing courtesy condemnation
damning existential insignificance motif possibly
adopted comparing not fancy free and footloose
demeanor toward none other than Boyce Brandon
Harris, thee papa, jack of all trades, (many taught
thru his own quick learning penchant), numberless

abilities + storied vocation - mechanical engineer
equalled one smart polymath strengths constantly
reiterated by mother (dearest long since deceased)
agog how papa excelled at most every endeavor,
i.e. vocational career at General Electric (aerospace
engineer) in conjunction with bajillion avocations,

hence finding his sole son (second of three progeny)
when only yeah high (a scrawny, skinny, spunky...
little boy) internalizing heaping accolades bestowed
strong, not so dark, modestly handsome biological
paternal parent with (rocking) round the clock timely
adulation, which praise papa similarly received soon
after blessed birth April ninth ninety twenty nine.
Form: Bio

Gibbering Jabbering Gibberish Haint No Recipe To Sound Glib

Ofttimes yours truly assiduously tries to adlib,
but blubbers like a landlubber
at sea treading water donned with bib
(that doubles as yellow
spongy bobbing life jacket)

furiously doing doggy paddle
riding the next tidal wave
hoop fully washing me ashore to crib
if need be to dig an underwater channel
painstakingly slow drabs and drib.

The English language I simply adore
though offtimes methinks waxing eloquent
affects listeners as yours truly a bore
in record time flapping waxed lips
beholds one gordian
tongue tied knot major chore,
whereby I wanna bolt out figurative door
feeling deplorable and stuck
analogous to Eeyore.

Ache 'n to launch into a monologue
or chime into ongoing dialogue
me noggin off times generates brain fog
mental state mimicking one,
who quaffed an over abundance of grog,
which for this teetotaler would constitute

a mere thimble full of drink,
perhaps rum enhanced eggnog
just one sip and boing I go
topsy turvy as if a felled log
hit me over the head
rendering me unconscious.

Thus wood explain mine altered state
though unsightly gash on pate
battle scar leveled playing field
with the missus, 't other significant primate
supplementing and complementing
one aging long haired

pencil (vane ya) necked geek
being caged, yet free
to roam within human zoo
both, (née all) of us captive
on carousel of time
nsync with every other *****sapien
begot to participate in circle game.

All superfluous joking aside,
I strive to groom conversation,
whereby uninterrupted flow of words
(versus fumfering, hemming, hawing,
stammering, stuttering...), thine

general oral feedback paradigmatic guide
ever diligent to think
before I speak with pride
else I heep discourtesy
upon myself and chide
yours truly with harsh rebukes,

which maybe tantamount
going off the mountainside
plummeting into the abyss
engenders an unpleasant
metaphoric roller coaster ride,

and if crash test dummy doth survive -
upon gibbet he will be tried
punishment broadcast world wide
for flagrant horrendous verbal
egregiousness (waywardness) he belied.

Premium Member All Mixed Up

Did you hear about the moose, who thought he was a goose? He swam and he honked and even waddled when he walked. But it would make you cry, if you had seen it with your own eyes, the morning when that moose tried to fly.

Once there was a hog, who thought he was a dog. He barked then he sniffed and even chased after sticks. But oh, how that hog did moan and groan, when all he got for dinner was just an old soup bone.

Grandma had a rat, that thought it was a cat. It meowed then it scratched and even purred when she patted it. But when it wouldn’t chase a mouse, she threw it out of her house.

Did you hear the story of an ox that wanted to be a fox? Each day the ox pulled a cart, as around the farm the fox would dart. Then one morning fair, the ox on a dare, ran away to play all day with his friend the fox. As evening came and hungry from his play, the ox asked the fox “Have you any hay?” “Nay!” exclaimed the fox. So right there and then, the ox headed for his pen and ran away never again.

My Uncle had a monkey who thought he was a donkey. That monkey hee-hawed and walked around on all fours. That monkey even changed his name to Eeyore. But when we put the sacks, heavy upon his back, to haul them into town. The monkey fell flat against the ground and claimed he was no donkey; he was simply monkeying around.



Then there is the sorry tale of a whale trying to be a snail. The whale moved about so slow she got carried away in the under tow. When her friends wanted her to flip about and shout, all she did was pout and lay about. But the saddest part to tell, is when that whale thought she had a shell.

Have you heard the story of the hare who wanted to be a bear? They rollicked about all spring, summer and fall. But when winter came and the bear went to hibernate, that hare decided he didn’t want to be a bear after all.

Now here’s the moral of this whole mixed up tale. When you try to be someone else, you think is very cool, you will always end up, looking like a fool.
For you are you and that should do!

My Ebbing Physical Prowess and Strength Flows Away I

analogous to expending precious Air Supply
embellishing, modifying, revising, et cetera
a poem crafted about fourteen months ago.

I take stock and revisit good ole days of yore
quite conscious undeclared state of war
prevails within body (Electric 
Light Orchestra) of troubadour,
whereby creative juices did perforce pour
forth as if sung by one man koor;
now he haply seated at his Macbook Pro
today April 29th, 2022 
accompanied with Christopher Robin,
Winnie the Pooh, and Eeyore.

Since January thirteenth of this year
(two thousand and twenty two),
yours truly suddenly feels
long in the tooth, i.e. auld,
he whose decrepit body and
gnarled hands ice cold
senility and senescence doled
rigor mortis virtuous vice grip extolled
coronavirus (COVID-19) motherlode
courtesy geomorphology dynamism fold
analogous to discovered vein of mined gold

grim reaper with scythe doth silently infold
(in Old English, scythe spelled siðe)
ore yonder church bell knolled
anonymous beat nickles less,  
dime a dozen, day late 
and dollar short sexagenarian
dropped out of Culture Club
(any strong resemblance between said poet
whose Grateful Dead head lolled,
and once living person purely coincidental)
death and decay, I lichen to mold
meself finally nill and void nolde
of unwanted excessive fleshy flab 
scant personal possessions outsold
to highest bidder polled.

Dead weatherbeaten and fatigued soul
with absolute zero regret
no longer being alive,
immortality impossible mission to connive,
especially when endurance and stamina
took kamikaze nose dive
formerly earthlinked buzzfeeding
desiccated honeycomb hive

in tandem with former anxiety riddled psyche
need no longer worry
his existence perfect example
how hardship did misthrive
death be not proud penultimate quest
since adolescence (think anorexia nervosa)
he did (unsuccessfully) strive.
Form: Rhyme


I Ham Quill Tee For Gobbledygook

I ham quill tee for gobbledygook...
and ruffling tail feathers!

An innocent miss steak kin...
once former main lion den cha hoard servant,
resident iz cow herd vegetarian boar
hoof faux whatever reason iz explore

ring bing foo fighting beastie boy, who doth
newt practice, what he preaches your
truly battens down chicken
coop hatches so... call me galore
re: us hypocritic,
this honest to dog omnivore – more

accurate said buzzfeeding primate -
*****sapiens, he whelk hams
adieu after quick bonjour
hears ear splitting eeyore
deaf finning chore
tills unable to ignore

admits transgression,
now wonder wherefore
whether art thou still
game to reed my adore
hub bull poetry
understandable if ye deplore

such atrocious, egregious, opprobrious...,
violating ethical core
puss regarding straying
against dietary herbivore
rudimentary eel lamb ants
(chocolate covered my dear Watson)

boot fault in the starfish...por
favor mice elf can
oxe plain twittering like plover
with reasonable rhyme for sure
don't get doggy dimples in bunch
cause to skewer me but... but before...

sending killing squad to slaughter -
this puppy, aye kindly honour
my wish and don
me noggin with pompadour
as fetching drag queen
torpedo sized bosom

squirting parti-color
milk as self defense mechanism
averting casus belli thus
amidst melee I abhor
find self on horns of dilemma
life story of this poor

cooked goose flambé
caught between rock and trapdoor
special cannibal delight
where madding crowd
chants "send him back"
accursed unconscionable roar

ring anger, but lurch for eats,
an impulsive reflex courtesy extempore
rain nee yes unforgivable poor
craven impulse to up peas hunger
uncontrollably craving regarding carnivore

pang additionally not further injure
ring innocent animal plus more
to this fishy tail than
meats the Wawa birdseye.
Form: Rhyme

I Ham Guilty For Gobbledygook

I ham guilty for  gobbledygook...
and ruffling turkey feathers!

An innocent miss steak kin...
once former main lion,
resident iz cow herd vegetarian boar

ring beastie boy, who doth
newt practice, what he preaches your
truly battens down chicken
coop hatches so... call me galore
re: us hypocritic,
this honest to dog omnivore – more

accurate said buzzfeeding primate -
*****sapiens, he whelk hams
adieu after quick bonjour
hears ear splitting eeyore
deaf finning chore
tills unable to ignore

admits transgression,
now wonder wherefore
whether art thou still
game to reed my adore
hub bull poetry
understandable if ye deplore

such atrocious, egregious, opprobrious...,
violating ethical core
puss regarding straying
against dietary herbivore
rudimentary eel lamb ants
(chocolate covered my dear Watson)

boot fault in the starfish...por
favor mice elf can
oxe plain twittering like plover
with reasonable rhyme for sure
don't get doggy dimples in bunch
cause to skewer me but... but before...

sending killing squad to slaughter -
this puppy, aye kindly honour
my wish and don
me noggin with pompadour
as fetching drag queen
torpedo sized bosom

squirting parti-color
milk as self defense mechanism
averting casus belli thus
amidst melee I abhor
find self on horns of dilemma
life story these of this poor

cooked goose flambé
caught between rock and trapdoor
special cannibal delight
where madding crowd
chants "send him back"
accursed unconscionable roar

ring anger, but lurch for eats,
an impulsive reflex courtesy extempore
rain nee yes unforgivable poor
craven impulse to up peas hunger
uncontrollably craving regarding carnivore

pang additionally not further injure
ring innocent animal plus more
to this fishy tail than
meats the Wawa birdseye.
Form: Blitz

Premium Member Unscratched itch

I have a weakness for golden blond hair,
and light shade of blue in mascara eyes,
that new recruit in office next door,
I brushed past her as I came up a floor,
and she is got them, she is got them,
She has bloody got them… all of them!!
four decades into life, still out for a mate,
with a good job, house, a car.. well rich!
that girl next door could be my unscratched itch!

opportunity knocks they say but once,
I have to look at this with a magic lens! 
there must be a way I could speak with her,
may be an official call, a business deal?
may be pretend I walked in to wrong office?
may be go and try their brand of coffee?
but a morning came when God had better plans,
Walking to my door who should I see waiting there?
the golden blond goddess all on her own!!

million gun shots could not have stunned me more,
I smiled to say a happy hello but sounded like Eeyore!
She returned the smile with radiance of sunrise,
And killed me with a surprise handshake - “Hanna”!
I shook her hand, and must have said my name,
Wished shaking hands could be a lifelong game,
but she soon disengaged and said if she could come in?
She was changing jobs and moving to our office!!
God is kind and in his wisdom, He arranges jobs too!

Itches come, and itches go, some high, some low!
but an itch of the heart is hard to reach,
there are no fingers to go deep and scratch!
So my unscratched itch that I bore with fortitude,
would it be resolved? thank His heavenly grace!
We spoke with eyes and professed with our smiles,
All was looking good till the boss spoke one evening,
he was marrying Hanna, and next week was wedding!!
and my unscratched itch? well, it will remain!!
Who said goddess?? that bloody b**ch!!

Circumstances of Financial Hardship

Hub bomb bin hubble emotional wreckage
tell tale signs of internal war
ah, there moost be lifelong conspiracy
afoot for a Galician voar

try as I might to Lyft myself
out of penury...this Uber
scribe reckons way back when,
my life took a irrecoverable dee tour,

tis neither pity nor philanthropic succor
this poor man asks,
but just the chance to roar
(albeit within structures of silence)

shaky psychological scaffolding
built from shabby and poor
Scottish matted Harris tweed
material re: mailhouse order

(same as me bartered bride)
assembly required blueprints defied
comprehension, and thus...only my
into whoosh shin as singular guide,

which puzzling quandary sorely
tested frustration, I could not hide
overstressed mental cogs, and
wheels issued steam from inside

the bowels (ah... oh...
moving) within this, nor
thorn prickly human being, more
or less condemned to live
in this mancave, where folklore...
I don't believe that bupkis,
about some hoar

rubble, but...nonetheless,
yours truly unable to account
for this...friggin landmine miss fore
chin, where nuttin boot 

this misanthrope jammed
in a hole like EEyore
moost all bajillion years living in the dark...
as if... yeah thrust in the core

of a black hole, thus
the best available
explanation given destiny did ride
me roughshod into the maw of despair,

now no matter these gnarled
arthritic hands unable to...
ugh...heave ho...grunt
purportedly nada so easy slide

anatomical pieces together
according to schematic 
drawing, aye tried,
hence best this crabby hermit vied
to be condemned remaining separated
(since birth), sans 
webbed world infinitely wide.
Form: Bio

Deep Within Throes of Writers Block Cerebral Cortex Feels Frozen To the Core

Deep within throes of writer's block cerebral cortex feels frozen to the core

Haint no rhyme nor reason
why writing a poem such an arduous chore
twenty two days afore
winter solstice twenty twenty more
or less three weeks from tomorrow
November thirtieth, I implore
the god/goddess of poetry,
perhaps found within Bangalore
highlighted by the 'Green Door'
guarded by the key don Eeyore
also known as Al Gore
him of Earth in the Balance fame
who by George got ambushed unsure
if he chad chance to claim victory tour
when former candidate did score
less electoral college votes
nevertheless in my mind before
thoroughgoing count did ignore
discarded ballots scattered
all across the floor
which outcome incurred Iraq war
insinuating weapons of mass destruction
the gung ho forty third president forswore
existed but quite a few
respectable Republicans did abhor
pinning such ambiguous lore
upon head of recalcitrant Saddam Hussein
bombed back to stone age
think lavishing primitive home decor
no imprecation heaped and hurled
upon United States military, nor
thug, who nobody did adore
asking politely "por favor
can I pretty please take detour
to Galapagos Islands of Ecuador
made famous courtesy Charles Darwin
still popular best selling author
at garden variety generic bookstore
which borders on ridiculous for sure
yet inane rhyme tore
thru my noggin after writer's block
yours truly did deplore
he would spend countless hours in vain
every burst of creativity I did explore
found me smack dab against
figurative cul de sac and bonjour
to you too three score
orbitz after me late papa did bore
mama, she passed away
fifteen years before.
Form: Rhyme

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