Long Doodle Poems

FICTIONAL BIO:

The missus asked me
(hitherto known as her bozo)
just mere moments ago
to craft humorous poem to glow
nsync with the shiny nose of Rudolph
keeping syncopated metrical flow
thus methought to crow
about being equally as foolish
streaking naked outside...

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Whether you have come to possess this compendium of doggerel confessions by chance or by choice, should you decide to venture beyond this page, I politely suggest you consider the contents to be nothing more...

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Once pawn a time...

About four plus weeks after
frazzling fiasco from friggin fraudsters
white knight still mourns swindled money
Lynne Costello Senior Civil Investigator
(assistant to Philadelphia attorney general)
unable to recoup forfeited funds.

While holed up in castle keep,
(albeit fetchodit...

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Mimi and Mary T.
By

M P Walsh


It was 25 December,
And a snug-warm Christmas day.
The temp was over 50,
The weather: bright, not gray.

But a sadness on this Sunday fair
Perplexed me...what was wrong?
As I left the cape with...

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Daylight savings time more'n minute effect on me

In 2024, daylight savings time will begin at two o'clock ante meridiem on Sunday, March tenth. That will mean losing an hour of precious sleep and moving the...

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Grant this civil yankee to doodle till Lee gets blue in the face 

blowing 99 red balloons April 9th, 2023
will signal 158 years since Appomattox
plus what would have been ninety sixth birth 
of the late...

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Have you ever felt like you needed to talk to someone?
Someone whom you could open the closet to and unveil the skeletons that you have been hiding
Someone who you could connect to soul to soul
Someone...

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I walk into the AYA studio, apprehensive as I have never taken a dance class.
"Come on it!" Suzette, our dance master says. On the wall behind her there is a giant Moose wearing a pink...

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(alternatively titled: tardy duff fender of assertiveness,
especially after adjusting following insanity clause
affixed with rubber baby-buggy bumpers)

Methinks I nearly got snookered
courtesy CVS employee at store number 7569
(address: 1206 North Gravel Pike,
Zieglerville, Pennsylvania 19492)
September ninth, two thousand...

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[In the spirit of ‘Old Macdonald’, I envisage a class
full of kids filling the space between stanzas with
moo’s, quacks and dings etc as appropriate. Of course
if you’re in charge of a room full of kids......

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blowing balloons signaling 158 years since Appomattox
(Alternately titled always look on the bright side of life)

Armageddon would be morbidly amazing,
   concluding (reign of Homo Sapiens)
   fascinating albeit simultaneously catastrophic boon
dog gull...

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HERO

“As a boy you’ll go away to that far off distant war
 And you’ll come back a man
 Of which my son I’m so proud.”
 
So off to this war I went
To a place that...

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Let’s have a lil fun. Let’s see how many of these you remember.
If you know, you know (Smile)

Little Boy Blue come blow your horn…
Jack be Nimble, Jack be quick
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
Little Bo...

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After beguiling charisma,
damnable excoriations fixedly,
gamely, horribly, insult jesting,
kibitzing, loosely mindless nattering,

outlandish pablum, quintessentially
representing senseless trumpeting,
unswervingly vapid wordy
X-DOUBLE-MINUS
yawping zest.

If ye did not already guess from thee 
above blimey claptrap, Das English flap
doodle glib human incorporates jokingly,
kookily,...

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The Nile River seems like standing still;
But is actually continuously running, continuously promising.
By day, by night;
Depositing on its shores sands and rocks and debris.
Green farms stretching along;
Tall palm trees overlooking the scene.
Trees’ long “jareed” (leaves)...

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Daylight Savings Time 2023...

in Pennsylvania will begin at 2:00 AM 
on Sunday, March twelfth
and moost likely will impact
min-née-ute effect on me
a run of the mill on the Floss
amazingly gracefully aging
long haired pencil necked geek,
who welcomes...

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Here's the truth @my about P.D.
I will knock you off your key bored rapidly
Envy you are, of my ghetto rhyming slam
Shh!!Who really cares who I AM
"lmfao!"Your slam back was a lame attack
My poetic illusions will...

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Utmost nadir of despair found
this atheist craning his neck skyward
hearing resplendent August orchestra
today June 10th, 2022
choral symphony may sound absurd,
but...mine supreme auditory sense

(compensated with poor vision,
i.e. extreme myopia) impossible mission
driving after dark
genetically injured
acute undoubted gifted...

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starry eyed cloud of surreal angels

utmost nadir of despair found
this atheist craning his neck skyward
hearing resplendent August
choral symphony may sound absurd,
but...mine supreme auditory sense

(compensated with poor vision,
i.e. extreme myopia) genetically injured
acute undoubted gifted courtesy,
viz cochlear...

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“Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.” - Woody Allen

When I was much younger, previous decades seemed so distant, so far away. To me these older and impossible decades existed only...

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   Soak in the palmolive snake oil tonic.
The cool stalk of my ebonics on hydroponics.
Get stuck in the matrix of my convicts, of hooker phonics.
Get high off of my knock off water on...

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Bob, the cat, lives in the room number 13 of the sixth avenue.

He likes fish, rollercoaster, ice cream cones and Sunday papers.

He's an artist. He's a painter. When people ask him about his latest work,...

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Peter Pan? He is nothing but a tale drawn out,
a hero of half-truths, drowned in fairy dust,
the dullest side of a double-edged sword.
 
Before my time lost its salt, 
before the boards of this ship...

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Adulterous besieging capstone damnation
exploitation foists groping, heaving
insidiously jerking
knowingly lunges
machinations notoriously nymphomaniacal 
officiating penile quests
rapaciously, sadistically 
tenaciously, unstoppably 
vasocongested wickedness 
Xerses yawped zeolously.
*************************** 
All throughout history of  man/woman kind
ascendent civilizations extensively gouged, 
impailed, kindled, murderous...

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"Camptown Races sing this song, Do Dah! Do Dah!"
( sung incessantly by a certain, unique rooster.)

Henry Hawke: ( Sung to Holly Jolly Christmas:)
" I'll be there and back by sunset.
  There's a chicken there...

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