Long Diarrhea Poems
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You give into gravity
You need no compass
You endlessly go down
First goes your mind
It’s stuffed with gold and garbage until it bursts
Then your bleeding organs await maintenance
Then your gray heart and your dried up soul
Get caught in a wheel that is being continuously turned by you
But you have no control over it
And every voice that matters gets put on low low volume
So that you won’t be distracted from the deafening incoherent loop of nothingness and soul numbing diarrhea because your brain craves a reset and you run it low power til it dies
And you have so many tools and no supplies
And an inability to take truth from the lies
And when your cup overflows with poison it can seep into places of importance
And you use your brain as the sponge that guards your heart
That sits down at your stomach
And it drips and it soaks
And it leaks and it never stops and the noise
it never leaves
Maximum time for minimal attention
Nothing of note is worth a mention
It comes only by reflex and invitation
Some people just cannot be honest for the life of them. Others, like myself are all too honest. I wonder if honesty is like diarrhea, if it too runs in the genes? I will ask him, he will know the answer. In the mean time I just need to accept that this is something I cannot change and the liar just wants to get my goat. To clear their secrets like blackberries. They are sharp and hurt every time they scratch the surface. And like the moth I continually go towards the flame and get burned. The liar wants me to beat myself up and place the blame. A sociopath that gets off on secret sex relations. The liar is a miser and in constant supply of endless manipulation. I'm confused and mentally abused, like a douche that has been repeated reused. Left out in the sun to dry and watch wilt. A no brains with no balls left under his kilt. Riddled by shame, and guilt. The liar has taken his will. His might, his pride, his ability to just chill. Left uptight, I look up at the sky. So gray and dismal. I wonder... Why? As the liars evil eye lies upon me, thoughts cloud as rains falls. I hear the crows call out. A horn honk and siren in the distant. The sun breaks and the fog lifts for an instant. Truth becomes me but I'm already broken. I ask the store manage for the restroom key token. As I look into the mirror I can't help but think, liar lair lair can't you see. Sometimes your lies just hypnotize me.
As a talisman around my neck, I wear a glass magnifier.
Now where ever and whenever there is sun, I can make myself a fire
and cook food I have scavenged to kill any harmful bacteria,
or boil water free of all parasites that can cause dysentery and diarrhea,
or for the warmth my body needs to prevent possible hypothermia,
or as protection from any local life threatening wild predators.
As an added precaution I also always carry a disposable lighter,
in case darkness falls upon me before I can make my campfire,
but I only use my disposable lighter very rarely.
because it will run out of fuel eventually
and anytime I need fire when fire can't be
is an official life threatening fire emergency.
You won't have any chance of surviving in the wilderness successfully
if you don't make harnessing Fire your number one priority.
rain comes rain
rain wets my pain,
wets my dust of gain,
cleans my walking lane,
find I inside a path of sane
rain comes on empty green fields
cows, calves, goats run away dancing
rain comes and wets nature
dogs, cocks, hens move on my doorway
sparrow, tailor birds soaked in the grove
flapping wings and feathers seek warm
rain comes and wets coconuts and betel-nuts trees
raindrops fall as trees tears
rain comes on the poorly pond
fishes are playing hide and seek around
kingfisher waits to make a dish of fish
in food natures allow- no bond
rain comes on paths, quay, field
a passerby walks with an umbrella
ship discharges goods
soaking child play mirthfully
rain comes on little boys and girls of the village
they use banana leaves on the head like an umbrella
rain comes on the desert
quenches its thirsty heart
rain comes around us
venomous, non-venomous snake crawls on frog liberally
earthworms cultivate soft field gamely
rain comes, water plays its rule over all
urban drains are full of naughty- garbage water
urbane street and footpath flooding
skyscraper building floating on immobile stinky water
rain comes unsurprisingly
cholera, diarrhea touches neighbor slum child
rain comes, roaring flood attacks terribly
dead crows, cows, dogs, mice in the urban dustbin
rain comes, soggy feelings on my sight
I do not find my pet cat and tame dog
rain comes, flooding, around my flooding
the street tong tea stall flooded away
supplying daily foods-goods are short
the tariff rate is high
rain comes with a price hike
rain comes but the doctor does not come
water cause patient increases day by day
rain comes with snow coolness
cough harasses beloved voice
I'm not hearing a welcome song of rain
rain comes and I come-
by the right eye, I see elated life of around nature
by the left eye, I see gloomy death is nature’s feature
-August 13, 2018 Chattogram
Put your hands up those who want more sillies
Counted six thousand, one hundred and forty
Seems like a bunch of you still like to giggle
Be assured, more's coming up shortly
First one, how does one make holy water?
That's easy, you boil the hell out of it
That's really quite funny and extremely clever
A copyright I've got in my mitts
They say nobody is perfect, well I'm a nobody
So it follows I must be perfect
If four out of five suffer from diarrhea
Must mean one person enjoys it's effects
A computer once actually beat me at chess
But it's no match for me at kick boxing
Beat the poop out of that annoying computer
Other laptops thought it was shocking
I say no to alcohol, but it just doesn't listen
That's the silliest thing I've ever heard
Whenever I talk quietly to my Bloody Caesar
It answers, “you are totally absurd!”
Whad'ya call a boomerang that won't come back
I guess I'd just call it a stick
What do you give a woman who has it all
Your phone number of course, Mr. Slick
© Jack Ellison 2015
Here we are in 1650, which is ten minutes to five
swing the wheel to the West, which is left,
put your sun cream away, man the mizzen and the stays
as we set off for some murder and some theft.
You'll find us as your hosts on the sunny Barbary Coast
and from there we venture forth to ply our trade
we've been out leaving them for dead from the Atlantic to the Med
before we skittle off back home our fortunes made
With a yo-ho-ho and a barrel of grog
and an arrr and some other cliches
table leg for a thigh and a patch on me eye
as a Pirate I will end my days
As I previously stated we all get inebriated
from our copious imbibing of the grog
our excuse is there's no Cola in the bars of Hispaniola
which is why we need the hair of the dog
With a yo-ho-ho and a barrel of grog
and an arrr and some other cliches
table leg for a thigh and a patch on me eye
as a Pirate I will end my days
Got a woman in Bermuda and another in Tortuga
and they give me lots of lovin' for some coins
and although they're very foxy they're just both a pair of doxies
which I'm sure explains the rash around me groin
With a yo-ho-ho and a barrel of grog
and an arrr and some other cliches
table leg for a thigh and a patch on me eye
as a Pirate I will end my days
Now we're really no buffoons when it comes down to doubloons
and our treasure chests are burstin' at the seams
then old Blackbeard started spouting about doing our accounting
so I said (before I shot him) 'in your dreams'
(ye chorus)
As we skirmish the Atlantic I was starting to get frantic
since the one thing on my voyage I've always feared
is the men who've not been coming for a while across some women
have all started wearing lipstick, which is weird
(arr, the chorus again)
Well it's reached that point me hearties where we anchor down and party
so me shipmates here on board I'd like to thank
though the mix of food and beer has now given me diarrhea
which is why I've made our cook just walk the plank
(for thee last time, chorus, arrrr)
September 17th 2015, 'A pirate's life for me' contest, sponsor Kelly Deschler
(Author's note- there are several spellings of diarrhea, but it doesn't matter, they all have 'arr' in 'em, me hearties)
I love having—
hating the feeling of wanting.
Wanting cuts my guts as consequentially as diarrhea.
I steal casually,
like second breaths after waking,
or proper newborns latched onto Mama’s nipple.
It is inspired vice.
There’s a teaspoonful of buccaneering Barbarossa
sprinkled in my lines.
I commit careless crimes—
not much outside the magpie’s range.
I am the cupbearer at Mass now.
All men are wanting persistently.
Other men’s carelessness is providential,
inviting nosy rats to the quiet catwalk.
I collect on neglect,
underprized nuggets
that poke at my wonder,
scratching curiosities.
I stole wives off petty husbands,
decaying cars banked by roadways,
the overhanging fruit of fat landlords,
words from Webster’s to ennoble intellect,
thoughts from tinkers;
Christ’s reflection—but the mirror stole it back.
Psych docs lower me on leather beds,
wanting to safe-crack my mystery.
I tell them Barbarossa blood ties tarnish, birth bandits.
Shrinkers countdown—
ten, nine, eight...
I am paroled to a fantasy field of rare, clean earth, of no lack.
There is my First mother.
She is a beauty queen.
Me, unseen.
She is careless,
drawn by luster.
I yell, spoiled apples!
Me, unheard.
She tastes.
She calls my First father to probe the coveted yield.
I am bidden too.
I eat.
Theirs is mine.
A primordial gift is constant craving.
The wife plays nurse Nightingale while her husband...
convalescences in sickbay
from irritable bowel syndrome,
the Flip (Wilson) side of constipation,
a disorder of the lower gastrointestinal (GI) tract,
which includes the small intestine
and large intestine (colon)
essentially a problem
with how the intestines function,
causing symptoms like abdominal cramping,
bloating, and changes in bowel habits
Any room in our
one bedroom apartment accessed
as my place of bedrest
which might find me seated
upon the commode
or lying supine on the Lazy boy
E-Z chair fully dressed
defies mine surly sour grapes
physical state where diarrhea doth erode
as if I swallowed Liquid Plumber
and complete rectal purging finessed
prior to the wife going to sleep,
she prepared me soup to goad
to withhold urge
to defecate impossible mission
I feel hard-pressed
to impose restraint
against the trademark symptom
of gaseousness finding me shell shocked
and ready to implode
laughter the best medicine,
thus yours truly doth jest
cause almost forty years shigella
contracted at July fourth Rainbow
family gathering he knowed
quite well, cuz no sooner
did sphincter muscles spasmodically
contract and expand in tandem
with anus expelled lest
I attempt to stand up
from hole in the ground
which grass grew hardy
and warrants being mowed
quite frequently hopefully
not disrupting any wild animal nest
and to think that some areas
within the webbed wide world
still lack proper sanitation,
where modern plumbing outmode
did courtesy primitive privy,
a breeding ground for
more than one disease causing pest,
now not deceived courtesy
paved yellow brick road
criss crossed with military tanks
heavily armored, tracked combat vehicles
designed for front-line warfare,
equipped with powerful guns
for direct fire
and machine guns manned
by a small number of soldiers
squabble over a spit
of land for defense cannot rest
in peace until no fighter left standing.
bunny heads
and spilled wine on the sofa
Minotaur on fire
and a raspberry doll
a sailboat in a swimming pool
and high foreheads in a park
a mime in a sand mirror
and armed homeless people
blue lips in hands
and Max Ray or Man Ernst?
graffiti in a coffin
and a skyscraper in a bottle
vegetable war
and a black hole in a pear
violin chef
and obese angels in McDonald’s
a paving on a water surface
and an auction sale in a wrong hour
colourless grass
and laughter in times of plague
fashion diarrhea
and a cow in a dance dress
black winter sky
and Cabaret Voltaire forever
dark red absinthe
and a hundred-year-old fisherman on top
murder on a chessboard
and dinosaurs in New York
cosmic mixer
and a smell of lemon fields
amarylis inside out
and a toddler in a sea shell
snow under the bed
and an orchestra at Mount Everest
space shuttle on the beach
and a night under her skirt
a steel ropewalker
and a flea in a golden cage
nice gesture under the reading glass
and a zip on the back door
calm west
and a key to deceased stars
labyrinth of cards
and a 2-D dinner with God (knows who)
all this and more
another time.
(Jazz it up to the tune of "Everything’s Coming Up Roses")
***
Caught a cold?....Have the flu?
Do you think a truck ran over you??
Need a pill?..........Have the chills?
Honey..................everyone's blowing red noses!
Pounding head? Now it's spread...
To your lungs, and now you wish that you were dead?
Cannot eat.....cannot sleep
Honey.............everyone's blowing red noses!
Now head's spinning....temp one hundred and two?
Doctor's grinning...........says it's just the beginning!
Out of luck.....you've up-chucked
Diarrhea wars are waging in your gut?
You'll get well......just you wait...
Doc said flu.........his bill is due....
Honey, ...............everyone's blowing red noses like me and like you!
You can do it.....all you need is a pill
You can do it, ...chicken soup will see to it!
Feeling weak? Fever peaked?
Thoughts of living one more day may seem too bleak?
You'll get well.....take a nap...
What's Doc's bill??!! ....Holy crap!!!
The only thing that stops you from getting well....
Honey...everyone's down at the pharmacy...and buying meds
Everyone's hording the Pepto and Tylenol
Everyone's using up Medicare, and HMO's
Everyone's blowing red noses........ and sneezing AaaaaaaaaaCHOO!!
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