Long Desperate Poems
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In shadows deep, where anguish thrives,
A poem dances, with cutting knives.
Its verses etched in wounds so raw,
Unveiling pain, our deepest flaw.
Oh, melancholy, cruel and vast,
Embrace my words, and hold them fast.
Let them bleed upon this parchment white,
A tale of darkness, a soul's endless fight.
Within these lines, a heartache sways,
A symphony of sorrow, a mournful haze.
Where echoes of anguish, in silence weep,
Embracing wounds, too painful deep.
Cutting through the fabric of my soul,
The blade of despair takes its heavy toll.
Each incision, a secret plea,
To ease the ache, to set me free.
Oh, sorrow's tapestry, woven tight,
Threads of longing, in shades of night.
In every stanza, a tear I shed,
A desperate whisper, where hope
fades.
But pause, dear reader, and look beyond,
For hidden within lies a glimmer, a bond.
For in this darkness, we find solace true,
A testament of strength, a journey anew.
Within the depths of pain and despair,
Resides a resilience, a spirit aware.
The scars may speak of battles fought,
Yet within, a flicker of light is sought.
For even in darkness, hope shall arise,
Like a phoenix reborn, it bravely defies.
With love's gentle touch, it mends the soul,
Stitching the wounds, making them whole.
So let this poem be a lighthouse beam,
Guiding lost souls to hope's serene dream.
Cutting, pain, and depression may reside,
But through the darkest night, we shall rise.
Angels listened, still in the skies
Heeding each breath, waiting for the word…
“come quickly, save me, I have had enough!”
Words never spoken by the Son of God,
Who hung between heaven and earth,
On a splintered cross where He was tormented
By pain so desperate, the blackest of sins,
The despair of those moments in between
Life and death, light and darkness, love and fear…
Because God had left Him hanging…
Angels listened, hoping to hear His prayer
Never wanting their Master to be tortured this way…
“come quickly,” they had expected Him to pray…
But, He quietly accepted His dark fate,
Death on a cross meant for the worst sinner,
Death on a cross – where He was surrendered
His light, His life, His glory…
Then, comes the angel’s gentle story…
As they pulled away the stone,
Leaving room for their Master to come forth,
Out of the darkness, the death,
Some thought was the ending –
As others celebrated the best beginning!
When He arose from that tomb, even the angels knew…
There on that cross, where it all seemed lost,
He said “it is finished” – as the real story was just beginning.
He had the final word, and that word shall be heard…
Throughout eternity, as the angels sing and sing…
Praising the King of Kings,
Praising the One who died to see…
The story go on for you and me,
The story that will provide the greatest victory!
As the angels just sing and sing,
And heaven remembers the day
The man on the cross didn’t pray
For the angels to take His pain away!
Instead, He stayed and saved –
Giving our souls a new light, a new day!
And, the angels just sing and sing,
As we praise the King of Kings!
she stood on an empty bucket with a tight noose around her neck
when doubts crept in through a hole in the bottom of the rusty vat
naked she was twisted torn with defeat tattooed into a punctured heart
vacant echoes of darkness played a symphony in search a broken record
on desiccated skin she had painted all regrets in bright orange crayons
scratched it over with charcoal and waited for final accords of freedom
a mistuned guitar offered Nirvana but an accordion drew out suspense
screechy fiddles bowed to the drum beat calling for tranquil surrender
slit wrists oozed sorrowed blood on transition to redemption and closure
the kitchen smelled of gas as her match stick legs gathered last strength
she had not eaten for weeks and trusted liquor had been her only companion
if only she could overcome apathy and inhibition to pitch up her courage
but her arteries refused to relinquish blood for fatigue to settle for broke
the vessel stood rock solid on shaky grounds of a tiled kitchen floor and
she wondered whether the rope was a rubbery pendulum waiting to snap
and therefore she hesitated at the threshold between paradise and hell
well she pondered I’ve got that one out of the system I might as well live
off my list now I know how it feels like to hand over the conductor’s baton
if my inner audience hesitates to cast the final curtain the show must go on
when she refrained from muting an orchestra she faded for silence to grow
she almost tripped the fuse but severed the cord and rewired her feelings
to align with the desperate reason that life on the edge was better than death
13th November 2020
I walk
I walked the earth
with dark and heavy steps
I walked the earth in search of something
I walked the earth until my feet turned black.
There were times of great plenty
there were times of great need
there were times when the spirit withered
I confused what I wanted with what was needed.
I walk
I walked the earth
in an eternal, desperate circle.
Where nothing was seen nor heard
except for the shadow of a lonely step
and the scream of a flightless bird.
At times the walk was profound
at times it was quite mundane
at times I walked in a cleansing drought
at times I walked in a parched-out rain.
I once walked in the ego of darkness.
I once walked the path of self-deception.
Something always brought me back into the light
Into the realm of grace and divine perfection.
I walked
I walked this earth.
I’m at the bar in Havasu
I thought I was through with you…
Guess I wasn’t after all
Lonely and wishing I could cuddle you wild
Sorry that I have been down and about
I miss you tremendously no doubt
I know I sound desperate
I need to quit it...just a bit…
Maybe, baby,
You and I are meant to be; well, possibly
It could happen, you see?
Maybe, baby,
You and I could be free
I want to set you free from captivity
Companion, I must be crazy…
How you held me last night…
Took away my midnight fright
How you fulfilled my needs…
You shared with me your adoration seeds
I bred you with my authentic words of love
I have been entranced by bluebirds from above
Brainwashed by the MK Ultra lullabies…
Brainwashed by society’s downfallen lies
Unbrainwash me, my love…
My bittersweet darling of mine
Unbrainwash me, for I rove
Towards the end of times’ sign
Tainted by the torment of this difficult life
Fainted at His sight and lived through strife
Painted a picture of you and I in rainbow delight
I love you like a saint loves His scriptures tonight
Sorry if I sound desperate all day and night
I guess meeting you was fate – our date felt right
It was meant to be, but being with me
Sounds great – it’s never too late to be free
Feeling the hate when I should be in love…
You handed me roses with prickly thorns
Thoughtlessly, I bled for the sake of love…
You could be an angel with devil horns
I suppose we were compatible in some way
Sorry if I sound desperate all night and day
Fading faith force-fed me with dreadfulness
You maintained faith within my soul of sadness
Murder my madness and mesmerize me with mere merriment
Memorized your forgiving face in the spacious, marvelous sky, I can’t deny
Sentiments sweetly shimmer anew with no hint of resentment
Immobilized by impairment of my heart’s hopefulness that won’t ever dry
Enduring in these hardships the best I can on this Earth
Endearment encourages me to engage in elevating mirth
Eternal exuberance embarks upon my engulfed mind of mysterious melody
My isolation is melting away like ice in the fire, a divine sunshine of serenity
I have been so desperately, so genuinely,
Looking for someone to be with sincerely
Well, I’m heading home now and baby, please know
That maybe we are a flawless match, a fabulous show
Dear Father of love that frees
Love that colors the heart in hues
Of wonderful blessings, inspirations
So brilliant they shine through
The spirit with tenderness, affection
Praise of the One who brought me
Through the storms, across the seas
Past the worry, fear and anxiety
Dear Father of my heart and hope
Still the darkness that works to
Frighten me into a place of despair
Fill me with your light, your joy
The miracle of a peace so perfect
It pours out kindness through me
Shining gentleness over my thoughts
Reminding me why I can always hope
Through the sorrows and tears
There is always His love living here
Within my soul when I can surely know
Love this alive is bound to survive
The tests of time, the haunting, the strife
Dear Father of my spirit, send your light
To breathe tenderness through my thoughts
Lift my dreams so that I can continue to hope
Whisper prayers from my yearnings and dreams
Reminding me that love is always here with me
Beckoning to my spirit to believe in His truth
The music of a heart who knows this is real
This beautiful faith that awaits the day
When I can silence every worry with a smile
Revealing the glory God sends to His child
Dear Father of my insight and imagination
Reflect all the glory that You still send
Despite my doubts and fears, my worries
You remind me that I can do anything
With You there beside me, guiding me
Inspiring me to be the person You meant
For me to be from the beginning, even
When I was still sinning and still in need of
Salvation from the darkness that haunted
My hopes and dreams, my ideas and beliefs
Even when I didn’t know the joy of this light
You knew that I was Yours and that I would arise
From the shadows that darkened my faith
And left me feeling like I was so desperate
Dear Father of my life – my hope and insight
Please don’t ever leave me without your grace
Raining down joy across my heart and soul
Filling me with kindness, serenity and wonder
Feelings that were inspired by the love You
Poured out over my life, freeing me from strife!
Dear Father, God, my Savior and Creator –
Thank You for Your salvation – You are amazing!
As the night descends
And darkness is all I see
The tears I cry keep falling
Until the morning sets me free
I never knew that lonely
Could bring me so much pain
I never knew that lonely
Could drive me so insane
How many tears must fall
How many dreams must end
How long will I keep loving you
How long can I pretend
How long until I believe it’s over
How long until I move on
How long until I fall out of love
Until I accept you are gone
I never knew that lonely
Could bring such desperate need
I never knew that lonely
Could make my poor heart bleed
Please don’t try explaining
It wouldn’t change a thing
For when you said goodbye
You took off your wedding ring
You say maybe tomorrow
But I know deep down inside
There is no going back to you
Too many times you lied
Every time another dream
Is washed into the sea
I die another day
And lose another piece of me
So take the memories with you
And every broken part
For loving you once filled my world
But tore apart my heart
And though the nights feel endless now
One truth will set me free
The day that I stop loving you
I’ll find the rest of me...
Last nite my world suddenly tilted
Love was stolen choked wilted
As I live and breathe my heart was cracked
I didn't push the hurt away instead it attacked.
He had awoken those emotions I thought were dead and gone.
I had been numb for so long.
His mind missing never will it return..
His soul forever burns
His crime this time
He broke my heart and took my rhyme
Wilted dead inside forever
Happiness belongs to me never
Crushed desperate to be able to breathe
He was my air all that I need
He played his game and played it well
In ignorance three times I fell.
Each time a little shorter distance before I hit
The last time juices didn't even cool before he split
My soul blackened and charred
My emotions cold brittle and on guard
Love gone, taken, broken in disregard.
Left lying, wasted, weak heart beat signifing the end
Why did he have to pretend
Bitter cold, im left alone once again
Death doesn't come but I will never live within
Watching old newsreels sadness washes over me
Highstepping horses, gentle eyes transformed in fear
valiantly charging under men that could not yield
Amid the noise of cannons, over the death-filled battle-field ,
sides flecked with foam, so far from home,
somehow they know how desperate is this final charge
hoofbeats pounding, hearts bursting, falling in their stride
Now the faded image shows a glory past and gone
Yet we must remember them and how their courage shone
Lest we forget the horses, or the majesty of them
In solemn re-enactment we must remember them
And grant a special place in paradise where they can roam.
Written for the Australian war horses that went overseas
and never returned
Some Paradise Where Horses Go Poetry Contest
Michelle Faulkner
Placed 4th.
The weary Shepherd of a benighted flock
has been cast into outer darkness;
languishing in a purgatory
of his own making.
And those flock of sheep are now
running amok, plaintively bleating "baa! baa!"
into the abyss. Trying but failing to regroup;
chin-stroking about who they're now supposed to be
Oh, what to do! They can't seem to figure out
what to do with themselves anymore, pathetically
desperate enough to go down the primrose path of
self-destruction with the false prophet that once LED them.
Now they're crestfallen about the glory they once knew.
Instead of throwing off the yoke of servitude,
they've chosen to come under it, like old times.
Exhibit A: of the whole bunch, the most dyed-in-the-wool
sheep made a trip to Florida, headed down
his old Shepherd's abode, genuflecting before him;
on his hands and knees, pleading
to be led, like old times.
*example for contest*
Date written: 01/30/2021