Long Crude oil Poems
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Written: June 04, 2026, for a contest sponsored by Brian Strand
*****************
Crude oil squats between my ribs
as a codependent nebula
asking if we can “talk around our relationship.”
It purrs, leaks, and files an HR complaint
with the Department of Internal Oceans
for “hostile hydration practices.”
It vibrates in my chest
like a supertanker with performance anxiety
and no access to therapy.
The apple in my hand declares a recession mid-bite,
Its seeds unionize,
the core files for bankruptcy,
and the stem starts a podcast about “resilience.”
I chew once,
And suddenly I’m liable
for three galaxies' worth of debt
and one very crestfallen auditor threat.
While the fridge appears geopolitical,
The milk launches a coup, cynical.
The yogurt is sanctioned for “fermenting unrest.”
and the butter — Napoleon of refrigeration —
amasses troops behind the pickles.
While margarine runs for office — for nickels,
on a platform of “No More Warmth.”
When I walk, the floorboards groan
under global markets
and interest rates that adjust themselves —
Whenever I breathe.
They creak like ancient gods
who regret outsourcing creation
to primates with credit cards.
My shadow unionizes,
demands cosmic hazard pay
and a dental plan,
then takes unauthorized smoke breaks
in a separate galaxy.
Every heartbeat slaps like a tanker hull
wondering why anyone trusted apes
with fire, feelings,
or anything that comes in a bottle.
And still — the Strait wears my skin,
the world wears my worry like a borrowed coat —
And I wear the whole mess
two sizes too small,
like a thrift-store spacesuit
missing its helmet.
So I laugh.
Because if I don’t,
the milk wins —
and the apple
will schedule another meeting —
That should’ve been an email.
This is where black breaks open into bright bleeding feeling
as souls suffer the fire of flesh to enter arena Earth screaming
searching the ether for Adam and Eve's answer to forbidden fever
while angels wear snake skins of war to remember the carnage of this theater
and demons adorn their horns with the rose thorns of newborns,
in the blue garden of aging Eden every breath has a burn, every flame forewarns
denuding knowledge of it's pretenses, unveiling appetites and their prices,
we begin to realize that the Great Mother is a killer as well as a provider for our vices
feeding us the fruits of fortune along with the fate of decay
building our bones, branding the brain, electrifying, crucifying and rectifying our clay,
she communicates, educates and fascinates with looks of lightning and sandy kisses
the Mistress of Lucifer and Christ, she supplies the wood, nails and rain for our wishes,
civilizations rage, rumble and crumble in the judgment of her storms
there's mud and rock for every foot of fury, a cave and castle for all who defy the norms,
in her imperial urn she will cremate your eyes in flames of crude oil
baptise hearts in pools of rose water filtered through eons of soul soil,
her gravity will grind you to the ground where grief grafts prayers from tears,
in the sanskrit of sunrises she will summon songs that give your love ears,
this cradle and cataclysm of her erratic elements is where hearts are born and buried,
Earth, a womb and tomb of ancient bloom, oasis in eternal space where life is carried -
J.A.B.
Whatever God you believe in, he must be crazy,
Everywhere in the world there seems to be turmoil;
It seems to me that the Gods have gotten lazy.
In Canada, we have issues with our crude oil,
In the U.S. there are deadly tornadoes, storms;
Everywhere in the world there seems to be- turmoil.
The world nowadays is just full of prickly thorns,
The Gods must be crazy to allow all this to be;
In the U.S - there are deadly tornadoes, storms.
Shooting, stabbing, terrorist! Oh, can you not see,
Refugees of horrible wars are flooding countries;
The Gods must be crazy- to allow all this to be.
Coalition forces attack far off cities,
Global Warming- Canadian balmy winters;
Refugees! Of horrible wars are flooding countries;
Coalition forces- attack, far off cities,
Whatever God you believe in, he must be crazy;
Global Warming, Canadian balmy winters,
It seems to me that the Gods have gotten, lazy.
___________________________
December 25, 2015
Terzanelle
For the contest, The Gods Must be Crazy, sponsor, John Lawless
Fifth Place
With him was a jar of blessing,
Assembled before him were different maiden for their own portion.
Nigeria: A dark maiden went forward,
And on she he poured half of the dreg:
Crude oil, Cocoa, rubber, timber,
limestone, gold, silver, diamond,
ore, Iron, Coal and numerous others.
Then America: A long-nosed colleen agitated:
'Tuteur, to Nigeria have you've poured half of the dreg.
Japan: 'It is but few to us is left'.
Britain: 'Should we by power strife on the remains? '
Asia: '154 countries, to have a drip of the remaining ointment?
And then he said to the maidens:
The wind blown retired to listen.
'I'll pour on you remains but little,
Go get the little used.
And of the dark maiden who's given so many a virtue,
Let's see, what she'll use them to do'.
And then he vacate the meeting.
And now he's still looking.
Nigeria, what have you used them to do?
18: 01: 26: 19: 43
The snow fell lightly facing Tehran the stars all seemed to glow over the Capsien Sea from a heated Indian Ocean beholder of the Black Sea we hadn't battled cold like this an yet a deeply covered warmth seemed to cradle us beneath the blanket of whiteness from the snow capped mountains I bathed within the darkness beckoning Turkish chants Kurdish findings began to swell as we approached Turzikistan border my mind emptied over the darkened rush a canvas of clarity balanced virtue wondering when the vessel will raise over uncharted waters I craved Almaty wholesome wonder of Silk Road while I even began to notice hope springing from a fountain of lush memories gathered so beneath me glaring the fondness of it all as we sank in silence flashing lights embraced the craft as the Voss shore moved closer the clocks from the Kremlin chimed my thoughts totally on the consecration of Mary mother of God balanced over the middle east watching lucifer gloat over crude oil untimely measures grew more needed as righteousness burned very slowly on the ice masters of faint hues pulled hidden treasure from hidden nooks faucets burst with crystal clear waters while tar and oil sprang up from beneath covered wells lessons sang loudly with greed no one noticed the hungry the unclothed nor the sick in need
Written 3-23 2024 by Mrs Yolanda Joy Nicholsen
Our lamb has finally flashed his mane.
Crashing through the Bush.
Into the Armageddon plane.
Tail twitching, slashing fangs.
He's going to liberate a people shrouded in our blood.
Clean up those weapons of mass destruction.
Make an oasis out of glass, an oasis theology.
That open palm has turned into a fist...on a dime...on a dollar.
Over the top of a barrel of sweet crude oil.
To prove you're not a ***** like those tea partiers think you are.
You're the lion president, feeding our enemies.
While our children go hungry.
It's been a long, hot summer.
Did you know our schools don't have air conditioning?
But I'm getting off topic....
Fruitless war
your biggest blunder...to date
leaky intelligence
trigger finger
eagle-eyed bombs
charring children
lamb to lion
on a dime
on a dollar.
Over the soul of a barrel of bittersweet crude...
Now I'm probably censored for speaking against your wishes.
I could give a $hit.
Let the truth clear your opaque transparencies...
The pinkies are laughing hysterically.
Tea party, anybody?
The first of Earth's life support systems
to go
was crude oil
Then natural-spiritual gas
Then easily accessible commercial-grade
and scale
coal.
Then wood
for crude construction.
Then electric grid energy
MiddleEastern
then Western
then Eastern colonizing infrastructures
pathologically cascaded
down
into local-cooperative democracy scale.
While internally cooperative infrastructures
of active love
beauty and grace of
and gratitude for
PositivEnergy Democracy
expanded exponentially,
driven by both Positive cooperative investments
and Negative loss divestments
of WinNow to LoseLater
long-term self disempowering deficit,
rather than WinWin co-redeeming,
options.
Then clean drinking water
pathologically cascaded
away from where it was needed
and toward where seaside communities
entire coast lines
were redrawn,
and boundary issues
of dry nations
and barren refugee states
faded away
from multi-mediated view.
While internally WinWin
cooperative infrastructures
swept revolutionarily in,
like a grateful sacred tsunami,
economic and political cascade,
social and psychological and historical reweaving,
theological and ecological co-regenerative,
reaching toward livable climate needs
within
as without
For health
as abundant multicultural EarthWealth
With Permaculture Design
ego-ecotherapeutic ZeroZone centering practices,
Psychological PositiveEnergy ReStorations,
GoldenRule Therapeutic Justice,
NonViolent, local through global, Peace
WinLose LeftBrain Either/Or
Nature/Spirit dualistic fundamentalism
cascading toward WinWin Both/And eco/theological gratitude,
Positive LeftRight ProLife GreenEnergy STEAM Systems,
gratitude for trust and beauty attitudes.
BadNews closed doors chosen first
are GoodNews open doors
cooperatively chosen WinWin last
yet healthy best.
Born on a spring cyclone from Kansas' stormy rain,
awoken now in low growl, slowly reversing.,
down a low ramp, like a movie star rehearsing,
at new shore in sunshine with an exotic name.
Just like a kid in love all over again..
learning her games in many a winding curve,
perhaps proof enough I haven't lost my nerve,
shyly look back at such a refined rear end.
Lola isn't very patient or forgiving,
one who oversteers her with attitude,
puts her in a dangerous sashaying mood..
to cut short a man's simple days in living.
Let me tell ya what's so precious,
she purrs, just like a kitten..
tear'g through each firm shift given,
in silky thrusting gear meshes.
Oh, it's a fact.., she's known other men's hands
hit such dizzying heights on their track,
though promising never to look back,
my careful repair strokes her will demands.
Safe from boredom all my loving hands touch,
ev'ry square inch of Monaco White body showing,
hot turbocharged exhaust pipes ready and glowing,
hearts pounding in high revving double clutch.
Lola thrives on top tier 91 octane's heady drink,
sipping imperial ounces at each injection,
she's never known any salad days in rejection,
smooth cylinder walls bathed in sweetest crude oil and zinc.
Have you guessed at her qualifying past?
heart like a wheel.., all alone in a class..
smart dressed in Kevlar reinforced fiberglas
Hethel's english dream finally mine at last.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets
And little man, little Lola wants you
Make up your mind to have
No regrets
Recline yourself, resign yourself,
you're through"
* Whatever Lola Wants by Richard Adler and Jerry Ross for the 1955 musical play Damn Yankees
SHE'S MY CHOICE AND MY CROSS.
You told me beauty is merely skin deep
Wasn't that the reason I wooed her in the first place
Said it doesn't cook afang soup
I've not forgotten my way to mama put
You said she doesn't respect my mother
Excuse me don't make that sound like murder
Forget graduate Tinuke
I prefer beautiful unschooled Amanda
Even though she can't prepare amala
You said she's not intelligent
She does what I like and she's so efficient
Who said she's not sound
Have you heard her bedroom sound
She is not of classy source
But she's sassy and I dey enjoy her ponmo sauce
That she is mentally scanty is mere rumour
Even if she is, I enjoy the momentary humour
Who even needs that educated feminist
I have had enough troubles with chemistry
She can't speak fluently in the crowd
You need to see her in bed so succulent and loud
If you say she's crude and lousy
Excuse me sister , crude oil get value pass kerosene
Say my wife no go school
But she sabi hold spoon
Asking who will help my kids with their assignment
How that one take be your concernment
When we have kids we'll make arrangement
You dey tell me say I no get sense
Sister, you no dey see well go wear your contact lens
You claim she's using juju on me
But I'm enjoying the fufu she gives to me
You claim she's full of violence
You're wrong she doesn't just like pretence
Though she slapped me once in the open
It was because I burnt the food in the oven
That won't make our love to be broken
Now she's fat and won't hit the gym
It's OK Yoruba men don't like them slim
She's daft and can't stand a mental debate
Who even likes a wife that argues
If she ties wrapper round her chest
She doesn't want men to covet
If she was born of parents of colourful poverty
I've acquired the asset and the liability
Right now she's my sole property
Say all you want about her
She's my choice and my cross
(FM CONCEPTUAL ???)
What are these ancient creatures?
Which once dominated the earth
Left a mark which we will never forget
They came and saw during the Triassic era
And they continued their reign all through the Jurassic era
Before we starting spending pounds or dollars or Lira
230 million years ago
They dealt with the mammals of their time
With just one blow
And devoured other reptiles as well
Nice and slow
They ruled the seas and oceans almost completely
And they hunted for preys on land quite discreetly
Pterodactyls controlled the skies before the coming of jets and drones
And they communicated with their peers without the need of cellular phones
They lived through the ages for more than a hundred million years
And were the masters of lions and even big brown bears
Before the coming of *****sapiens
They roamed the sands
And conquered other animals in many distant lands
With its blade like teeth and an enormous jaw
Tyrannosaurus Rex was the largest carnivore they ever saw
But my favourite was the herbivore, Triceratops
He could repel an attack by the T- Rex until it stops
And had two horns on its fore head like the sign Taurus
With huge talons on its feet that looks like gladius
And the dumbest was the plant eating Brachiosaurus
With its long neck which made it look simply ludicrous
The dinosaurs prospered and flourished
And they were all over the place
They were man’s predecessors
And ushered in the human race
By design the dinosaur was no bird or reptile
But it may have comprise of the two
Because its spine stood erectile
Always looking for something to bite or chew
One day an asteroid came crashing down
And wiped them out
All the dinosaurs who used to live in our town
The proof of their reign
Lies deep in the soil
While their fossils remains
Their flesh became crude oil