Long Cripes Poems

I got a phone call from a mate of mine I hadn't seen for years,
and I could tell by his quivered voice that he was close to tears
so I asked Ken what is wrong then...

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all the stuff going on that motel was heating up but the locksmith didn't speak
Irish too well & besides he got drunk & robbed the wrong merry-go-round anyway...
Sigh
Banal as it might seem, it's not how...

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Oh cripes I’ve gotta tell yer of a horror ride I had,
	That beat any bronc or bull I’ve rode, and I must say I’m glad,
	I’ll never have to ride like that, again to hold me...

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I was working up Loch Valley logging for a local mill;
camping in a make-shift hut I built half way up a struggling hill.
I worked till lunchtime every Friday, then came in from the scrub,
spending Friday...

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I’m mourning over my old mate Bill; the old codger’s no longer alive.
Yes, the old ‘bugger’s given up smoking and stumps are at eighty-five.
No more gambling and joking or swearing; he finished his long drinking...

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Dad had threatened for some time, to reclaim the land behind the shed,
where rubbish over many years, had stockpiled but now instead
of being easy to be shifted, blackberries, docks and thistles grow,
entwining history of ours…...

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Dad had threatened for some time to reclaim the land behind the shed,
where rubbish over many years, had stockpiled but now instead
of being easy to be shifted; blackberries, docks and thistles grow,
entwining history of ours...

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We were making a tour across Europe
Stopped late down in Chalon-sur-Saône
Checked into the youth hostel after lights out
So I walked up the halls on my own.
My father spoke with the attendant
He was the one who...

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Samantha gave her Daddy a disdainful look
He’s been out again with that ripper old chook
He’s been acting all gaga, the silly old fool
Isn’t it disgusting the way that men drool
Well maybe the oldies, ain’t’ got...

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Fair dinkum mate I feel like a Tassie Tiger
And I’m not bullin’ you, and a real galah as well
How come this bloody sheila to such charms succumbs
I’m telling you me heart is racing and I...

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It's in a turtle soup shop where I'm employed
It's my duty to cook vomit-inducing soup turtle
which no decent human palate could stand;
a horrid job and a salary which is even worse,
an insult to my brilliant...

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The Mozzies are biting, we forgot the Aeroguard
The ants, all the bickies are about to bombard
The twins are fightin’ and actin’ real mean
This family picnic, it’s a real bloody scene
The baby’s cryin’ ‘cause he bashed...

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GOIN’ NOWHERE FAST

At any rate
the traffic…
…”God, get that finger out of there”
….”cripes, she wiped it on the seat”
stalled….
…..”She’s puttin’ on eye make-up”
…”she could put her eye out”
stopped…
…..”He’s watchin’ a freakin’ movie”
idled….
…..”The dog’s on his lap”
What!!...
…..”some...

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