Long Cleaning lady Poems
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Jack Ellison wasn't from Nantucket
I read prose that his cleaning lady had a nice bucket
But he vowed to look in silence quite as a mouse
For fear of sleeping in the perpetual doghouse
PD, appears and disappears like whoodini
I have seen the poems where she's a meanie
She also wrote about trading seeds for a donkey
She could have just as easily traded seeds for her monkey
Thephilosopher, what a silly nick indeed
He would trade if he only had a seed
A good monkey he could certainly use
Or would the ass he choose?
I would write about a Star I once knew
But from sight has she flew
Entering contest after contest without fail
A questionable close here could lead to hell
Wayland Bunch mentioned afore
He often rambles and can bore
His idea of humor often misconstrued
If he were a famous writer he'd be sued
There is a poet here named gigno
What is up with him though
Commenting with three exclamations
Does he think they equal explanations?
The Gaijin, clerihew after clerihew he did write
He gave up being Haijin, mostly out of spite
Who wants to write only three lines of poetry, he mopes
Haikus are for dopes (haha, that one should draw some attention)
He's called NietzscheThePhilosipher on Mocospace
Beware moco is a dirty dirty place
He went there often just to chat
But found out that perversion was the welcome mat
The boy from Texas wasn't scared though
He heard much worse, although he says it aint so
One time or two he wrote a clerihew
Becareful lest the next clerihew be about you
He read Jack's quatrains almost everday
They were medicine to the soul he would say
Maybe vodka to the inhibitions explains it best
If not, he'll just drink the vodka and forget the rest
I think I should mention Linda once more
I won't even write what you think, I don't need the war
I live by peace for all, that's the key
What happens if this last line contains piece and monkey (hahahaha)
I glance at my favorite ring.
The one I wear every day now.
The large pear shaped blue topaz is gone.
The opal band looks bereft without it.
I think of all the groceries I have sacked in the last four hours.
Wishing I had not cleaned the storeroom too now.
Want me to help you look? My manager asks.
I am a check-out girl who also had to clean a freezer today.
It could be in six dozen places, all of them in this store.
Or at home, under a couch, or swept up in a vacuum bag.
This is the day the cleaning lady comes and she only vacuums.
I blink back tears. It could have gone home with a customer.
My beautiful blue topaz will be thrown away by someone
Who might not even see it. Maybe it is in a paper bag crease.
Believe it or not someone has found it and brings it back to the store.
Here it is now, safe and sound, at the jewelers, getting new prongs.
People are basically not only good, but sometimes great.
The quest for eternity (Jeff Bezos)
He awoke under the bed; it had been his birthday
and had drunk champagne and eaten Danish pastry
He stretched, feeling stiff, walked to the kitchen, opened
the fridge took out cheese, tomatoes, butter and
A bottle of beer, which thirstily drank.
The cleaning lady had been everything was in order
but wondered where guests had gone and when they left
The house was quiet, not a sound from the street
looking out, he saw cars stopped, some with open doors
like they had been abandoned in haste, must be something
important going on, he thought, walked into the bathroom
had a shower and shaved.
In a bakery/café, he had a sandwich and coffee, which he had
to make himself since no one was around
It dawned on him people had left for a reason unknown
and everything, cars, cigarettes and beer, was free and only
For him to enjoy.
A Rolls Royce that had belonged to the mayor stood in the street
as he had never driven an expensive car before he started
The car, what smooth ride, he thought, but where are the people?
At the plaza, he saw a dog that looked like the one he had
many years ago, called the cur’s name, but it growled at him
and ran away, frightened of him.
At an expensive restaurant walked into the kitchen, made
a good meal, and drank fine wine without worrying about paying.
The dog came in, to all friendly now understanding it had
to stick with this person to be fed.
Months went by, he had everything, but he had nothing there
no change, days were the same, he lost interest
in himself stopped shaving and bathing and wore the same pants
and shirt every day as time was endless no point doing anything
Life had lost its meaning; he had to take the matter into his own hands
took the lift up to the top of the building and jumped, but he descended
slowly and softly landed, he broke down and sobbed
He was doomed to live forever as a punishment for his wishes to
Be a master of life and death.
Back under the bed, he went to sleep an eternity away, but the dog
stood outside the bedroom crying, who is to feed it now?
Erin was our young cleaning lady
Came in to clean our abode
Welcomed dear Erin in every fortnight
For her regular cleaning episode
Sweet Erin confessed her love for me
More love than her real Poppa
That was really quite difficult to hear
Never really knew her saga
Once asked if I could adopt sweet Erin
She agreed, with no hesitation
So sweet to know she loves me that much
But so sad to hear this revelation
Her Mommy and Daddy were separated
Many years before we met
Apparently he was never a good Daddy
Erin harbours the anger yet!
Such a sweetie, my dear dear Erin
Loved her to bits and more
A daughter I wished I had always had
She makes this Poppa's heart soar
Educating Rachel
Now, let us try this again to write a document
With one letter marching nicely in front of the other
Like adding instead of using numbers to give the written
words prettiness, even if the theme is about unnatural sex.
The fact is that there is a diesel smell at the bus terminal
At six in the morning, when the cleaning lady starts her
low-paid work has nothing to do with anything, had they
They're going to university, they could sit in fine offices
and go to the hairdresser at nine, a woman who can just
read and write, luckily for the ladies, she skipped school.
The driver of the bus enters farts loudly, and that is ok
But I could have shown some respect. It is odd to think
If all women had higher education and looked up to the blue
sky, who should make my dinner?
A sweet young thing comes to our humble abode
Once every month without fail
Sure ain't your average cleaner type person
She zooms through the place like a gale
A neighbour once noticed she had a cute li'l bum
I told him I wholeheartedly concur
We both could wind up with marital problems
Accused of being a couple of voyeurs
Once we thought of adopting this young sweetie
But her hubby would never agree
We had to settle for her once a month visits
Such a shame between you and me
It seems I might have lost my train of thought
My engine almost left the station
To get back to the fabulous job that she does
Sure appreciate her monthly visitation
© Jack Ellison 2013
the writer
Now let us try this again to write a document
With one letter marching nicely in front of the other
Like adding instead of using numbers to give the written
words prettiness, even if the theme is about unnatural sex.
The fact is the diesel smell at the bus terminal
Six o`clock in the morning, when the cleaning lady starts her
low-paid work has nothing to do with anything had they
here going to university, they could sit in fine offices
and go to the hairdresser at nine, a woman who can just
read and write, luckily for the ladies, she skipped school.
The driver of the bus enters farts loudly, and that is ok
But I could have shown some respect. It is odd to think
if all women had higher education and looked up to the blue
sky, who should make my dinner?
The woman who comes and clean the house
once a week, has a voice like a foghorn, she speaks with
a Gypsy accent I have to guess what she says,
anyway she ignores me when I say: no need to water the plants
there will be rain tomorrow; well, it is morrow now.
Now rain has fallen seraph-like clouds drift about as they should
have a day off and decide to have a lazy day.
The sun is up to modest now in October, tries to make up for
the summer when it forced me indoors for two months.
The cleaner has tremendous energy, up at dawn and works all day,
my wife has given her a lot of clothes which she and her
husband, a used car dealer, sells at the market on Sundays
When hearing her voice – and don`t I hear- she brightens up my day
like sunlight on a grumpy day, and I think she`s blessed.
Hello!
Yes, I got your number from my sister.
She got it from the bulletin board at the “Stop, Shop and Save-a-lot”
I’m calling about the ad for “cleaning lady needed”
I have a couple of questions.
How many bathrooms are in the home?
I have a problem holding water. I don’t mean like, in a bucket!
I mean holding my water. When I have to go, I need a bathroom close by.
But, don’t worry, if I make wet, I’ll clean it up good, and you’d never know it.
On my last job, there were three facilities and that worked out great, except for the time
the grandbaby stuffed a tomato in the upstairs toilet and the water overflowed.
It leaked all the way down to the first floor; I felt it dripping on my head.
Boy, I cleaned that up fast, didn’t want them to blame it on me!
What’s that you say?
You didn’t post an ad to the board?
Well, could you put me through the family who did?
And hurry - I gotta go!
Thank you
Dedicated to my favorite cleaning lady, Evelyn!!!
Me
ACCEPTANCE SPEECH
I would like to thank all my readers and fans for supporting me and making this award I received so meaningful. I would like to thank PoetySoup and the poetic academy for all their accolades. I wish to thank my ex wives, my numerous children, and all the flowers I have planted over the years. I realize I am great, and I realize I am making poetry great again, and as much of a burden as this is for me to carry, I do so with honor. I wish to thank Pizza Hut and MacDonald's, as well as my personal friend the Kernel Saunders for the buckets of support he have given me.
I would love to thank my editors, my agent, my illustrators, my cleaning lady and also my very talented chef. Much deep appreciation also for my chauffeur and butler Keith. I am in gratitude also to my dentist for which without her talent of the mouth, I would not be smiling now. I would like to also thank all my village, and also the company that supplies all my cafe lattes, they filter so well, is so very much appreciated.
Finally, I must also thank my travel agent, my plumber and twelve stone masons for all their rock solid support.
God bless you all