Long Chaps Poems

Yours truly would never be confused for a gourmand, nevertheless I could enjoy experiencing taste testing select food samples if offered an opportunity of attending a fancy feast viz smörgåsbord, whereby oral indulgence would arouse,...

Read More

Food glorious food

Asia generic guy gastronomy (and how gourmet foods eat destructively clearly beyond any) excess enthusiasm, the necessity to feed and clothe this lean mean exercising machine gunning corporeal essence christened Matthew Scott Harris...

Read More

‘She’s on again - the annual campin’ trip regatta,
and we’ve got ourselves together for our plans to Wonnangatta. 
The high country; you can’t beat it for the peace and quiet
unless of course some plans get...

Read More

When I was just a teenage lad, and growing up out west
I never wore a cowboy hat or fancy leather vests,
never put on cowboy boots or western shirts with snaps,
never wore tooled leather belts, much...

Read More

Dot Blogs she was a buxom lass and hefty heifer too
who married Bobby Eugene Blows when she was twenty- two.
They lived upon a dairy farm alongside Boggy Creek
and milked  a hundred fresian cows …...

Read More

On reflection, I find myself within these walls for having played the game of mans false testimony, I chose to take the blame. I asked a great teacher, one of so many, to share with...

Read More

Why We Don’t Visit Jane Anymore

By Elton Camp

We haven’t seen Jane in a year
Her house is fairly close to here
It is getting harder to find a ruse
Her invitations to politely refuse

She tells to us over...

Read More

My dear little boy, I’ve a question, you see
Just what in this world do you want to be?

Mommy, I would like to be,
A little boy high on the sea. 	

In a pirate ship with adventures...

Read More

The hustle and bustle as I get ready to ride     My leather chaps at my side   The announcer telling stories about my ride     About the only bull that no one can ride    Yeah...

Read More

we saw nothing
but elbows
and heard the fist pounding 
the skin.
their long black and brown
leather coats hide what they
were doing
the cries of the men
on the ground
could be heard all the way
at my room
when I got their
the...

Read More

RIP is what they wrote above me,
But that hasn't put an end to this thing.
The bugger's still up there happily,
Prancing and dancing,
And I can't get any sleep!

If I could get out of this box of...

Read More

I dress the way I do on stage
To transport you to another age
Where wild women of the west
Proved they stood among the best
They rode boot to boot along side the men
Riding broncs to hell &...

Read More

Take nothing for granted, little kids,
It was library day for our kids,
Lateral epic lit. for the kids,
The kids' librarian was off her tits,
Reading new wave epic lit.,
Such as "Paddington got Pissed,"
Then there was a new...

Read More

He grew one of them bushy mustaches
like Sam Elliot wears under his nose
Bought him some fancy duds from Cabela's
sure looked spiffy in his Buckaroo clothes

Alligator skin boots and silver spurs
thought he looked like all them...

Read More

He’s judged and condemned to take the saddle, yet, still fighting
without surrender, while we slip the bit between his jaws.
This, and ducking feet in dubble time while lashing
the gear to his back, dodging lightning while...

Read More

12/26/21


Time I make a splash
Got to fulfill important tasks
Can't rely on hiding behind masks
It won't always be what you asked

Staying intact or full of bug splats
Broken and cracked windshield glass

The wings of bats
Continuing to flap
Before...

Read More

On a dark Friday night, creature crawling 
The darkness silenced, frogs in swamps shuts 
Croaking and the hissing create muted at once
To perceive the whistlers whistling in turns 
PaMushika-shika, To board home, Combies

After being dropped...

Read More

Sly had him no love for Christmas,
It was just another day—
When the devout celebrated
And weak-willed cowpokes did pray.

Old Sly, he weren’t all that bad—
No, by gosh, he sure was not—
He never did shoot him a...

Read More

Through the heavy hand of solemn quest

Chosen vestibules in relentless jest
Onto the corporate head through exploits support
Just a question of fools spoiling all the rules
Phat cats with blue hats in silver snaps

Chaps

Power of manipulation trying...

Read More

Of Ghosts and Fiends in Twilight, Cont.


The battle was joined and I was the victor
But no spoils were I to partake of just yet
The daemon commander was still in my way
His face glowing red with...

Read More

I can't handle pretenders.
Something someone is not.
No 'spect for a paper gangster.
Living a fake life until caught.

A lawyer watching Son's of Anarchy.
Blue jeans with vest, will be looking phat.
Uber delivers him to a Harley shop,
wearing...

Read More

“Let ‘em loose,” came his bellowing yell,
“I got 3,000 head I gotta to sell,
Goin' 1,000 miles in weather that's hell,
You're all gonna sweat and all gonna smell”-

The boss’s eyes on ten cowboys did lay,
With disdain...

Read More

My heart was pumping hard that day I faced the maddening crowd, 
Despite the spinning in my head I stood there mighty proud. 
Though racked with pain my reddened hand acknowledged them a wave 
And...

Read More

President's Day is approaching so I thought I would further your education,
By revealing useless trivia about some of the dudes who've served our nation.

President Washington actually had to borrow money to get to his inauguration.
He...

Read More

Look Nigel, Boris and Dave are all climbing out of the cave
No longer keen to be an MP - they’d rather freak-out at a rave!
The Commons have driven them sickly
So they’re clearing their desks rather...

Read More