Long Caveman Poems

Font Din Black

so u real??? 
Warning! The following choppy, batty, 
dopey: elegy = flaky, goofy, history: iffy, 
jumpy, kooky: loopy, matty, nappy, nippy, 
sketchy material prone to find the reader 
dazed and bewildered, yet comfortably...

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New Year's Eve 2022

Yours truly riddled with social anxiety,
hence (billy me) he will idle away
December 31st, 2022 
sequestered (with the missus) 
hunkered down in his mancave
while madding crowd  
entertains reckons partition of time 
into...

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The monumental bane of OCD - obsessive compulsive disorder

As origin of Homo Sapien species surged ahead,
harboring nascent predominance
asper said primate reproductively bred,
(albeit via incremental fits and starts)
evolutionary forebears didst dread
Tom Tom Club former members
an American...

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New Year's Eve 2021

December thirty first
two thousand twenty one countdown
will transparently and seamlessly stream into
simultaneously linkedin January first
two thousand and twenty two,
whereby the Ball a geodesic sphere,
12 feet in diameter,
and weighing 11,875 pounds.

The aforementioned Ball...

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A pure Hawaiian of rare birth,
living a life somewhat carefree,
fed farm animals by this squirt,
sticks and stones were real toys indeed,
set trash ablaze, be on alert,
a barefoot country kid, that's me,
a runner on trails made...

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Jimmy Joe McSweeney is a long haired, bearded caveman, who lives in West Virginia…in the hills!
Tales abound from those who claim they’ve actually heard him howl…to finding gruesome remnants of his “kills.”

Some are down right...

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When they speak up and out about their feelings, 
about our children, stop, telling us to close our mouths and be quiet:
"Shut up" you say... I will never shut up! 

Until I am speaking a...

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How exciting; first appreciable (healthy) snowfall 2024...

within hinterlands of 
Perkiomen Valley Pennsylvania 
occurred January 6th promptly at noon.

Virgin whiteness blankets terrestrial realm
bajillion snowflakes tumble out of sky
atavistic fascination awakened
agog at ice crystals stinging each eye
while...

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Be not complacent 'bout dire global warming...

Thus spake Zarathustra 
necessitating donning layered clothing
in tandem, especially trumpeting   
being with wise mind and economical
exercising usage of fossil fuel 
completing most tasks 
involving driving automobile
courtesy designing...

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First appreciable (healthy) snowfall 2022 occurred January 28th

Virgin whiteness blankets terrestrial realm
bajillion snowflakes tumble out of sky
atavistic fascination awakened
agog at ice crystals stinging each eye
while I strike open mouthed stance
relishing tasting frozen water molecules.

No matter...

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Employment quest sought December 11th, 2021

Across cyberspace,
the following epistle
yours truly (me) doth lob
as the figurative pressure
tightens on the virtual knob,
I would moost certainly benefit
from a part time job
hence this rather goofy atypical reply
crafted (at initial
ten...

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Twenty first century civilization gone?... I askew.

Ah... what luxury to wax poetic 
as freedom to trumpet thoughts, 
ideas, emotions, et cetera will wane,
especially if president number forty five
courtesy wealth and/or stealth
dons the mantle as de...

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Twenty First Century Civilization Gone Askew...?

Methinks perchance man
     kind always vain
n'er did appertain
moral hike polar opposite
     from human being:
uncivil, unethical, unsocial, et cetera
    ...

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Two soldiers. One fancies himself a punk rocking soldier of fortune and the other, nicknamed hillbilly, because he lost his shoes, they plan a trip anarchist cookbookrecipe fear and loathingbeyond culture shock  We journey...

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Most would have you to truly believe, 
That I hated gOD, both you and them...Naive.
I don't have pure hatred towards him,
However I do have disdain, so I must parody his hymn.
No longer shall we conceive...

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Who are you?. And where are you from?. The document enquired
I was not in the mood for this for I was feeling tired
The first bit was quite easy, as I simply wrote my name
The second...

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I was waiting at the bus stop, for the number nine to take me uptown,
that’s when I saw her in the park, sitting crossed-legged on the ground.
The sun reflected in her golden hair, her lips...

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Battle of the Sexes 

A Collaboration Between: Pandita Sanchez and Eric L. Boddie 
Written on September 30, 2015


As beautiful and smart as you are, 
you always seem to take it too far. 
I know some...

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January 24th, 2023 Hair washing heralds huge happening

Hark….the herald angels sing, and twitter 
for mass communication 
mediums stop the presses 
when I, a regular schlemiel 
take shampoo to mine matted mass mop 
(no less than...

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Battle of the Sexes 
A Collaboration Between: Pandita Sanchez and Eric L. Boddie 

As beautiful and smart as you are, 
you always seem to take it too far. 
I know some of it is just;...

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There’s a party tonight so I bouffe up my hair
Pamper and powder my sweet derrière,
Arrive at the door, all done up to impress.....
Oh man, I forgot! Invite said “fancy dress”!

Pete and Sue are here, seems...

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I adopt dainty etiquette
when quenching thirst or dining
to buzzfeed growling beast
inside me tummy.

The missus requests obedience
raising both my little fingers in the air
upon taking beverage or repast to lips.

Additionally, she also requires I
(well healed husband...

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I burrow in silence locked in the depths of a grave.
I need no more guidance as I dwell in my hollow cave.

Unknown whispers…they creek and moan and I am left breathless 
trying to pick up...

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Anticlimactic mood after February 18th, 2021 snow storm subsided

I hate spoiler alert
regarding weather forecasters prediction,
especially when meteorologist
wannabe spouse doth blurt
out impending blizzard
which never materializes.

Yours truly humbled and enamored
when Mother Nature
singly and/or nsync with old man...

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LXII+ years old and he still carries a security blanket

Move over Linus
Van Pelt of Peanuts fame,
cuz yours truly
also psychologically lame
since prepubescence
mine noticeably long hair

delivered inner comfort,
yet found some classmates
calling me "hippy" by name
though other tormentors...

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