Long Calories Poems
Long Calories Poems. Below are the most popular long Calories by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Calories poems by poem length and keyword.
Word Play Lines
My main line muse stepped over a line –
My confuser got confused off line
Rhymes on strike, my pen went dry in a stiff hard line
Thesaurus got clean away flying through the pipeline.
I searched for foot lines on the moon in bluest of blue lines
Then looked around for yards and yards of a water line
At the park dropped a line running through a tag line
Then my hash line ran away again between the lines.
Drank some punch line, giggles burped – crossing the line
Found a lucky cooper penny on the green A line -
Crossed a plot line, story screamed like angry beelines
Out of line couldn’t find all the frayed drag line!
Dinner time, thick beef steaks on the firing line
Front and center, calories feeding me a story line
Smorgasbord of sights and smells lay it on the line
Honeyed, gooey just desserts lead me to some sweet lines.
Went to a bar almost bought all the current date-lines
Hollow words of neck lines – what a bunch of air-lines
Took the bus – had to duck – bruises on my headline
Tripped then fell - almost drown in the bottom line.
Gained some weight – oh, oh, no – now too snug my belt line
A little late –running tardy way behind the time line
Invitation RSVP to conga in the party line
Rows and rows of polka-dots, line up on the dotted line.
Muse returned from her day – fainted on the deadline
Had to duck, words run amuck in the mixed up chorus lines
Told me this was asinine feeding her a landline
Not too late! Get it straight! Balance on the fine line.
7-9-21
Contest: Word Play Poems with Play-On-Words
Sponsor: John Anderson
~~~ The 'Smoothies' Diet ~~~
I've discovered the joys of 'smoothies' as a diet
and if you're counting calories, you just might want to try it.
Start with milk and ice and water and whatever you may bring.
With mine, I add a little something ... just to give it zing.
To my strawberry smoothies a little Baja Rosa I add.
That extra touch of flavour is guaranteed to make you glad.
To a pineapple smoothie I find it needs a little something with kick
so a couple of ounces of tequila seems to do the trick.
Mocha latte smoothies are just instant coffee, milk and ice.
So add a little vanilla and some Baileys to make it nice.
Yes, this smoothies diet is great and its healthy to boot
and even if I don't lose any weight, ... I really don't give a hoot.
First off let's make it clear I ain't funny
And I don't start conversations out with bonjour
But there comes a time in every mans life
Where he needs a good Man-icure
When you hit the age of me on the same feet
It's time to give the old dogs a break
Empty out your calendar this will take all day for sure
And you don't want distractions in the way
Cause when the hair on your toes could keep an Eskimo clothed
And carpet his whole family's igloo
That's when you know it's time to call up your Bro's
And go visit an Asian or two
A pedicure for a man to remove the toe jam
Like they would weapons of mass destruction
But let's not call it a date cause that just sounds gay
Let's say outing or a manly luncheon
Like a kid in a candy store given chocolate galore
With no earthly thoughts of calories
Signed up for the 5 gold star plan soon to be a new man
Where you're bound to not recognize me
From hot wax to cream to all things in between
Why they even buffed my buff
From bottom to top they did the whole lot
And yes I liked it...thank you very much
As we went through the day the new me being made
Rolling me from dock to dock
Then came to the time we stopped short of a dime
When they wanted to give me a bikini WHAT?!?
That's where I drew the line there's just some things I find
That a Manly Man would never stand
We went back to the front, that's enough of this lunch!
THAT gold star wasn't in my plan
Would I do it again? All you gotta do is say when...
But next time round believe me
When it comes to the stars I'll stop at the 4
Which I believe is the boxer instead of bikini
September is aging with a cool beauty
and the Missouri seems to be hurrying the expedition
into a world of natural splendor that is impatient to strip our spirit to it's bare light,
in my silent moments of strategy I feel the birth pangs of winter in the air
and know that an emergency of shelter will soon be the crucible,
more days than not the river wind has aided the Corps of Discovery's adventure,
rarely have we had to pull Destiny along by ropes
and today I'm off the boat, hunting a fleet and mammoth goat
the pronghorned antelope, unlike the buffalo and deer herds
that have easily been in excess of 500, these shy creatures
move about in small groups, seemingly familial in manner,
a hide of short, soft white and brown hair
which stripes the throat, and vicious charcoal horns
that could impale a man in a single jolt, none of us has ever seen such an animal,
these damn goats bolt like bullets every time I creep near
they must be catching my scent for I am stealth and camouflaged,
they are so agile and swift, unafraid to speed through the most dangerous ravines,
getting back to camp with no hooves to show for my time
I see that John Sheilds has sacked a peculiar hare,
he calls it a jackrabbit, it is a monster rabbit no doubt
20 pounds dead and can leap like a rock across water, 20 foot spreads at full speed,
we all laugh and agree this place is becoming more of a jungle than a prarie,
any moment we may encounter apes and wherewolves,
its good to see Private Shanon chuckle well since returning
from being alone along the river for sixteen days nearly starved and maddened,
the fires be hot and the kettles be kickin with the right stuff
most of us are consuming 5, 000 calories per day including several pounds of meat each,
the mission is teaching the men's' bodies new extremes, the exertion is remarkable,
sunburn, blisters, rolled ankles, sprained wrists and backs, inadequate sleep,
mosquito bites, spider bites, ant bites, hours of tedious paddling and foraging,
no woman love, gaurd duties, chores, the stress of Indian encounters and ambush,
home sickness,
the only thing familiar to us is eachother,
sharing our sufferings, sharing our survival,
J.A.B.
It wouldn’t be considered gourmet food.
In fact, I’ve seen it eaten by a lout
who wore a baseball cap, and looking crude,
kept chewing it until he spat it out.
It hasn’t got the most delicious taste,
but cleverest of diet snacks I’ve tried,
its calories can’t be consumed in haste.
One cracks its shell to get the seed inside.
It’s high in protein, fiber, zinc and E
and sunshine’s D. . . I’m healthy as a bird!
And at the matinee, I have with me
a package (nacho flavored most preferred!)
And since my fingers always have a need
to feed my face, I love my sunny seed!
Note: Sorry this is not a really emotional one
All my addictions seem to be pleasure centered and not too harmful!
Just to show you how addicted I was to nacho flavored sunflower seeds,
when they were discontinued by the company, I went around to every
gas station and grocery store in the valley and bought up every package
of them. It cost me around $85 and the 75 bags lasted only a year! Now I
eat the large ranch flavored ones!
Be it known as convenience food, junk food or munchies;
whether spicy, melt-in-your-mouth soft, or crunchy,
food, inglorious food, seduces with ease
and ensnares with the emptiest of calories.
Disguised as a comfort food comes macaroni
with creamy Alfredo and kin, Fettucini,
To not be outdone, spaghetti entices
with large fattening meatballs and sauce rich in spices.
“Deep fried” knows our weakness for fat, which gives pleasure
and saturates fast foods, it seems, in great measure:
KFC (finger-licking), batter-fried fishes
and chicken fried steaks -high cholesterol dishes.
Even fruits will attack with enjoyment unhealthy
as tarts, pies or pastries. That apple is stealthy!
Veggies can also be treacherous things
in guise of corn fritters and gold onion rings.
Too much of a good thing is pizza (so cunning,
so meaty, so cheesy), which no one is shunning.
The taco, burrito, and big burger too
in great numbers descend on us. What can we do?
Those delectable luscious desserts that we eat
have only to sit there; we cannot retreat!
Candies and chocolate, our decadent sin,
sweetly defeat us. We simply give in.
Ice cream, a smooth foe, knows when we are blue.
On a cone or a spoon, it drips, waiting for you.
As a milkshake, a frosty, a sundae or float,
or between split bananas, it sure floats MY boat!
Buttered popcorn is one salty foe, and we love it!
The hot dog implores in our mouths that we shove it.
Baked bread, so alluring, entraps with its scent,
which wafts through the air as if heaven sent!
The standards of junk food -America’s pride -
crisp bacon and nachos, chips and foods fried,
invade our malls’ food courts and lurk high and low.
Their smells overwhelm us wherever we go!
We might try but we can’t make our junk food desist.
for only the health nuts can dare to resist.
In the war with inglorious food I adore,
I say, Bring it on! Here’s my plate; I want more.
For the The Synathroesmic Cat Contest Poetry contest of Suzanne Delaney
*So now you can all know why I try to get to the gym a lot. hahaha
Quiet and beautiful is the day,
where reflection adjoins -
with bustling children,-
adorned,- with bright,- happy colors and a sense of thankfulness, glory.
It is a stark reality, that must be approached
with Family, Community and the support
of self invited Black Birds and
"just in the neighborhood"- Blue Jays,
comic relief streaking squirrels,
Cats and Dogs on their best behavior,
rolling eyes at each other, like Brother and Sister,
"you can leave it to us, don't be a doubting Thomas,
we have this handled,
save for a containment twitch of tourettes or an acquisitioned snack."
It is a big day for them to chaperone and oversee,
this takes calories.
I witnessed a few quiet moments and reflective genuflective blinks from each in this gallery of motleys,
they know.
How proud the children are that you confided in them.
And your heart is captured here and until your dying day.
He Is, Risen
Making love is like a trip to the bakery
Sweet like pastry without the calories
Use spoons over forks and knives
It is like a ship with sails unfurled
Stretched out in the arms of love at sea
It is like nothing else on Earth not even butter
If you have never done it don't worry about others
You can always start with yourself and work up
But never use hammers or cameras in bed
It is easier than riding a bike or horse
A second course is right around the corner
But wear a helmet at night for protection
If you are horny wear a horn
It is best when performed on trampolines
Avoid mixed company and drinks
Contortionists know how to please
Remember, sex is more fun when not twisted
Love making is a truly probiotic experience
According to nutritionists it is delicious
Good for your health and digestive system
When making love use the right tools
It is the formula for success
Safe sex is the rule
You want shape?
Some imagined description of my curves and bumps
that twist and turn after breakfast and lunch crunch;
flat stomach, erect neck and back
aged slides away from the bodies track
and the six pack abs slither into jelly like flab
the culmination of a lifetime and all the carbs I had.
That slim and trim flexible torso once entwined
dancing free and happy in its time,
but the calories, the smokes and the wild drink
released the tethered body from its inevitable brink;
and now passing over the years that paid their dues
I slip into the form I never before knew.
The shape you once sought
is beleaguered by the life styles sought;
some frail and thin, secrets hidden well within,
others taught and muscular below the wrinkled chin;
most irregular and curled, strapped in their rolled furls
face the music of time, we are no longer boys and girls.
So if I could,
I would sketch the body shapes we have,
the apple, the pear, hourglass, rectangle and more
but sketching's not my thing,
just superbly satisfied I've had my fling.
For Shape contest 7/21/18
Grief is harsh and hard on the body and soul
Eating comfort food has packed on the pounds
Nutrition will be something that I focus on this year
Tears are cleansing, but they intrude at all times, I will try to be gentle with myself
Leaning into friends and family, who encourage me to be healthy
Easing my heavy heart by taking care of myself
God is with me every step of the way, and I continue to lean on him
Reading is hard for me, but I can listen. Listen to audiobooks, friends, and God's voice
Intake of fluids keeps me hydrated and a cup of hot tea is good for the soul
Exercise will help the stress of grief and burn the calories I stored up
Vivid colors, and sunshine in nature are a pick me up for a grieving heart
Intake of breath, when the world spins, will help you find your footing again
Never taking your mind off the goal of a life well lived and eternity in heaven
Giving to others who are hurting, helps to heal my shattered heart