Long Buttock Poems

February 29th, 2024

Alternately titled: 111th leap year since 1582
the year Pope Gregory XIII world leader
(i.e. essentially paterfamilias among
Roman Catholic flock)
timely maneuvered around calendrical rock
and hard space implementing
viable system tracking years ad hoc
out of sync and...

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Please help yarn hexed door neighbor...

Yours truly pinned down by invisible 
vestiges of coronavirus and
getting attacked from angry plague 
of buttons, plus huge spools of yarn
grossly mistook me for human sock 
to seal and line...

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Wergle Flomp Good Humor 2023

The following constitutes a rather 
twisted as a pretzel SUBTITLE:

I dash with my jiggling boobs in an attempt to escape... 
being overrun by teddy bears and beanie babies
while carrying out heavy...

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PYPU what ya gonna do boyz
PYPU what ya gonna do boyz
PYPU what ya gonna do boyz
don't need to see your Fruit or your Looms
don't wanna see your buttocks in those..
Vincent Motega's don't wanna see your...

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A (growing) menagerie of stuffed animals And Beanie Babies

The following doth constitute
combination of fact and fiction
unfortunately not sentences
referencing overactive spousal glute
though sphincter roaring
could muscle us into ample loot
(after wife explodes open bank vault)
versus ass spire...

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he was not dumb 

but he struck his thumb

now he was dumb-struck

and screamed jolly good

his hand in plaster

and bad luck his master

he could not drive his truck


to bide his time

he drank some wine

set out to...

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which prime mate affectionately called buttock blaster
alimentary explosion ofttimes causes global disaster
upon such gaseous debacle run for your life ever faster!

Yours truly (humorously dry husband)
can definitively attest,
she (thee missus) nixed, ordained,
inured, espoused blessed
discrete frolicsome liaisons...

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The broken piggy bank
strewn into a bajillion little pieces

Unexpected largesse
yours truly patiently waits,
a metaphor of my dire financial straits
courtesy papa's unsuspecting muse
the missus, this wordsmith notates
unwittingly linkedin to his misfortune,
a situation he hates,
especially, an unavoidable...

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Her body glows like the sun,
She arouse my feelings and emotions
Each time I watches her pass by with
Her buttock clapping left and right,
She bathe my spirit with pure love
And imprisoned my heart in her bosom.

I...

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INCUBUS
Do not wake me when I sleep
To deaf my ears when the morning weep
For tonight I shall elope with him
My hero,the light of my dream
I will be where quietness do sing
With Incubus my romantic king

You've...

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Byword People (Came By Way)



Pitch black was the day after
the nightmare before
When the blue wails
washed upon the sunset shore
Dark journey’s end for the castoff children,
who were unspoken for

Idol eyes resting carelessly,
got sin windswept upon a...

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Marriage to alarmingly ballooning...

dramatically expanding spouse,
when adorning buttons 
pop off undersized blouse
which spurs yours truly to grouse,
and ruffle mine tail feathers 
while listening to Scheherazade.

Eats her weigh out of home and house
unsolicited feedback courtesy
quite doubtful,...

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Tick...Tock...Tick...Tock...

(Aye apologize for straying way
outside thee usual canon -
     a poetic souffle,
boot desperation
     finds me cent less,
     Thus i pray
for divine intercession, this...

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A CRY OF A WOMAN

Help me tell my mother that
My beads are fallen into pieces.
The waist beads which stands for
My pride and dignity is gone 
Into the hand of a stranger.
I am nothing now than...

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Evil combs from their waists morally
Like a song from dead throaty tune.
Machete of tempting guts, they spread
Nagging substances to the eyes of men,
This thistles taxed our brave minds.
Our blood a gulp of water to their...

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(alternately titled one me silly more till manufactured 
from go win addle American 
non refundable private parts) 

each set of twenty three chromosomes 
the basic biological building blocks
of life came out cervix 
when second hand...

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I have been made mad before
With my clothes on my hands
Shabbily treated by children in the street.
My hair shaggy and rough.
YOu could see me going through the hoote-nanny
Smiling to every one that comes
on my way...

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Marriage to alarmingly ballooning...
dramatically expanding spouse

Eats her weigh out of home and house
unsolicited feedback courtesy
yours truly, she does grouse
quite doubtful, she could pose
for playboy and/or penthouse
returning explicit volley
of trailing appellations lobbed

expletive laced epithets
directed at her...

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February 29th, 2020
alternately titled: 207th leap year since 1582

the year Pope Gregory XIII world leader
(i.e. essentially paterfamilias among
Roman Catholic flock)
timely maneuvered around calendrical rock
and hard space implementing
viable system tracking years ad hoc

out of sync and...

Read More

alternately titled: 207th leap year since 1582

the year Pope Gregory XIII world leader
(i.e. essentially paterfamilias among
Roman Catholic flock)
timely maneuvered around calendrical rock
and hard space implementing
viable system tracking years ad hoc

out of sync and lock
step by...

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Still, and again
“Ogongo” crept into my mouth
As I behold the two nocturnal creatures

We have waited endlessly
No longer in my Aunt’s place,
But we became unsolicited watchmen
At the streets gate entrance
It was an ungodly hour 
Darkness had...

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C'mon Gimme A Botox Smile!

'Pon bing asked by spouse, while she didst dock
and pooched herself abed 
handily at nine o'clock
to see "handsome" pedigree dentastix
dog face of yours truly, me no Kid Rock
yea just a chip...

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#Hashtag Me Too
#I like you
#me too
#me too woke
#me too just awaken from my sleep
#me too everything not normal it stinks
#me too It started in grade school, when I pulled your hair
#me too back then it...

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(Any resemblance between said title,
as told tummy by ya finch,
and commander in chief,...
not accidental, nor a cinch
buttock hum posed on behalf

of these bottom ming out
fifty states, plus Puerto Rico inch
ching, donning, and clamoring
desperately for fluffin...

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twas the bright idea of zee missus aye air
and dedicate this poem
(yes tis correct, if you bare
lee remember this mister

did formerly she push duck clear
addressed said spouse
"my little buttock blaster" en dear
ment - for obvious...

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