Long Berk Poems
Long Berk Poems. Below are the most popular long Berk by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Berk poems by poem length and keyword.
Sam is a novice gardener who stamps on all ants
He doesn't like them near or crawling on his plants
Their Queen was angry and wanted revenge
For the ones that had fallen she wanted to avenge.
They planned to get inside and under Sam's clothes
Cover his whole body from his head to his toes
The queen gave her order for her ants to attack
Every inch of his body, every orifice and crack.
There were flying ant squadrons in groups of twelve
Soldiers in lines and a lone scout out by himself.
The others were preparing for a mass swamping
While Sam continued with his clomping and stomping.
They entered inside both trouser leg realms
These little feisty red insects, these hardcore rebels
From somewhere inside it was smelly and breezy
And their night vision eyes made navigation more easy.
Sam's legs were hairy and wiry, like a hot tangled jungle
With volcano like spots and some weird looking fungal.
They battled there way through, this united strong army
While Sam was going mad and looked rather barmy.
They bit, they chewed, they spat and tickled
Sam smacking himself as he wriggled and wiggled
At all times they were all on high red alert.
To avoid being splattered by this mad dancing berk.
These tiny ninja assassins crawled under his shirt
His four limbs wildly failing; he went completely berserk
Flying ants swooping and diving to created a distraction
Sam's reaction to their actions gave them great satisfaction.
He jumped, he hopped, he twice did the splits
They bit here and there, including his small naughty bits
His limbs in and out; the ants hokey pokey
Limbs moving so fast they felt hot and smelt smokey.
Sam screamed "I am sorry please leave me alone
My garden is yours and every ants home
I didn't know aphids left you a sugary sweet treat"
I surrender, I give up, I admit my defeat."
Harmony and peace, balance restored
Nothing is mightier than a little ants sword
Sam's body now healed, no more ants in his pants
But beware if you ever harm a red or black ant.
04.06.24
Don’t see it lady May….
Dark demon from the nether world,
From into-outer space was hurled,
And came by Dumbo jet,
He came to prey on lady May,
An older shiela, ninety say,
Who liked dem toy boys just a bit,
But lost her glasses in a fit,
While Counting her blessings hey,
Aint love grand? Ooray,
Devonshire had seen his like,
While poncing through the mist, all night,
A second son, down under come,
The bastard son of the prince of fun,
Got sent down-under, right? {australia}
That he was just a parasite,
Her head it entered, never might,
In passionate decay, sweet delight,
Procrastination day,
Would never come her way,
So Blinded by the light,
Ecstatically so blocked with blight,
Sweetie pie ON her parasite
Her prince she had to pay,
Tad grumpy sometimes may,
2 Some poetry recite,
Sir Rhupert of the browning twist,
Bad Poetry, he sort-of missed,
But he was a tad ok,
FOR A POMMY BERK, I say, {prisoner of mother england}
An never past, dis-may,
Dem pommys talk this way,
The point I’ve poorly mist?
As for the pontificating fits,
Rabbiting on, subtle mindless gits,
Galahs and sand-goanna nongs,
In Japanese phallic ding ding thongs,
Who had the mango ****ttts, {manure}
Playing chess for sanity say?
Be careful boy you’ll slippp,
Will madness win the day,
And tremors start to hit,
Ok,
The parasite spoke up with scorn,
Like royalty I’m so high born,
Bow down to me sweet little worm,
Us Parasites hold sway,
And so I seemed to say?
“Begone thou foulest dip-stick twit,
The misel-toe does shon-kily sit, {con man part}
On a healthy tree today “ :}
But do we really have to pay?
4 Attention’s, draught a bit? :}
Don
a ponce was a pimp for the ladies of the night ,
and if you were poncing about like a pimp it was orright,
suspected pimps were poncy too right
to get my poncifocation trite...
--
I moved up on the outside to pass Bold Eclipse
when this poncy young jockey bloke puckered his lips.
Well I kicked well away and I picked up the pace
and a divot of turf hit him smack in the face.
With the straight just ahead it was now time to move
and Thong Classic sensed too he had something to prove.
When I went for the whip the horse lengthened his stride
and I knew I was in for one hell of a ride.
From the stands the crowd screamed and were going berserk
while McArthur cried, "Ride, pinkie ride you great berk."
Then I stood in the stirrups, applying the whip,
but a length from the finish ... I felt my foot slip.
As I crashed to the ground I lay writhing in pain
when a voice from the dark cried, "You're flamin' insane!"
To my horror I saw from my back on the floor
my poor wife on the bed looking terribly sore.
She'd a cord in her mouth from my old dressing gown
and was bowed in the back lying tummy side down.
She had marks on her thigh from the welts from my belt
while the screams I had heard were from pain she had felt.
It took months to live down what took place on that night
and to stave off divorce proved a flamin’ tough fight.
I'm blacklisted from races and all TABs
and I sleep with darn hobbles strapped round both me knees.
Conversing with Neil McArthur at Bobby Millers Wake, we all realized we were there to
celebrate Bobby's life, so one could not help but indulge in the larrikin spirit he was
so famous for. Know for his comical verses, Neil has a thing about thongs and many
titles in his books and albums contain a thong theme. He also loves the horses and he
has shares in one. We were rather amused to find one of the starters in the Melbourne
Cup was Thong Classic. The rest is poetic licence.
Birdsong wakens me at the crack of dawn
I try hard to get back to sleep until the early morn
Heading for the bathroom I ‘tinkle’ on the loo
On rousing I think its something that most people do!
Straight off to the kitchen and I turn the kettle on
I hear the button ‘click’ then make a cup of tea for one
The toaster pops up and I spread jam on the toasted bread
I always have some breakfast so I can face the day ahead
The radio greets me with news, some happy and some bad
Tragic events across the globe make me oh so very sad
I run the bath and relax then splash in the soapy bubbles
Wash away my cares and de-stress from my life troubles
Then after I get dressed I slam shut the front door
I’m off to supervise exams; it’s a job that I adore
My car engine purrs softly during my trip to work
I sing along to the radio, I sound a complete berk!
Into the exam room hall we creep and get it all prepared
Soon student’s sit in silence – some of them look so scared!
I dash off to the grocery store; tills bleep as they are really busy
The music in the shop is so loud it makes me feel quite dizzy
Soon I am home again and its time to prepare our tea
Steaks sizzling in the pan for my husband and me
I clatter around the kitchen busily clearing up the mess
Carelessly drop a plate on the floor, it shatters I confess
After tea I hear my husband loudly snoring away!!
These are a few sounds I have heard during my day
Sounds of the Day Contest Sponsored by Nayda Ivette Negron
06~18~16
My tech of nology is some what limited
Even when I try to get things printed
But to transfer pictures is testing me
Failed to connect keeps harrassing me
Tech of nology is a crazy puzzle
Has tied my mind into its muzzle
To think of a plan of what that might be
I decide to make a nice cup of tea
But impatient am I or a fool I may be
I begin to embark my challenging journey
The memory card will not work
And bluetooth is making me feel like a berk
Do I confess and give up now?
Or carry on with my prowl?
I take a deep breath and count to ten
I will win this and transfer them
I remove the card to check it's ok
Then put it back in, but the wrong way
So here I am with this new struggle
Stuck it is, oh I'm in a muddle
A needle, a toothpick I did apply
The tweezers I know, I will give them a try
My choices of tools I was desperate you see
To win back my card my phone kept from me
As I pulled and tugged as hard as can be
It shoots straight out into my cup of cold tea
Fingers dives in and fumbles around
To my relief the card quickly found
A blow on the card and a gentle shake
Come on card give me a break
Placed on towel paper to dry
A warm blow from the hairdryer next I try
More thoughtful this time I insert the card
But no it's still just a bit to hard
I cuss at myself for being so silly
Win I will, I'm a determined Milly
Finally inserted I am ready to go
I press the buttons but alas it's a no
No pictures was found they are lost in the sea
By the mug of my cold cup of tea
An old man sat thinking
Oh what shall I do
I really could do
With a woman or two!
The younger the better
Or three in a bed
Why are these thoughts
Going round in my head
But his looks were not pleasant
His age clearly showed
He looked like a frog
Or more so a toad!
So he came up with a devious plan
To make ladies think
That he was a young man
He joined Match.com
With a profile that said
I'm tall, dark and handsome
And damned good in bed
I'm just six feet tall
With piercing blue eyes
And in case you are wondering
It's a respectable size!
I own a nice house
I'm solvent and funny
I drive a Rolls Royce
And I have tons of money
And if you are game
For pleasure and fun
Please do get in touch
I just could be the one
He then sorted through photos
Of himself years gone by
With no wrinkles and handsome
Looking smart, suit and tie
Then he posted his profile
With his hopes raised sky high
But he looked in the mirror
And saw with a sigh
A beer belly, false teeth
Specs, walking stick
Looked down and oh
He could not see his dick!
I can get some viagra
A dot on the card
Apparently works wonders
For making things hard!
But there was a huge problem
He thought whilst he sighed
One look at me and
She will know that I lied
What's the solution
We will meet in the dark
Late at night with no moon
At the local park
But he knew damned well
That it would never work
And went to bed feeling
Like such a prize berk!
Pathological liars lie to hide behind the lie,
terrified of their honest truth becoming realized
which they hide in their fragile mind kept captive 'til they die
as they seek attention through misdirection mastered over time
repeatedly repeating start believing their own words
as people slowly start to see dishonesty absurd
and if you point out what's occurring things only get worse
as they defend with hostile nerve sticking to what they've served
as lies back lies that back the lies they say you misunderstood
then they will explain that already explained as though it adds true worth
clearly they aren't backing down and think your brain don't work
so you decide to let it go, and with that so, they believe their good
this is when delusion spawns an elevated perch
next they lie without effort and thoughts are barely searched
they think they've got a natural skill that others can't assert
as everyone else looks at them thinking "what a total berk"
they think never admitting the lie means they are never lying
and therefore nothing can be proved so they stick to denying
oh my god their logic's lost somewhere or it is skiving
just be bloody honest mate, respect for you is dying
of course they think they've done it well so they wont pay attention,
absolutely barking mad living in a demented dimension
Smashed up against the wall it
Shat ter ed
in
to
tin
y
pi ec es.
My m
i
n d
is splintered broken,
never to be put back together again
S as in
P as in pratt
L as in love and lust
A as in ashes
T as in tampon, tarnished, tainted, titty titillation, Tshirt dishing up all the dirt until it hurt cassie, cassandra, cossetted ,cosy crap – yes that is exactly what I want to say cassie, cassandra, bert, burk, berk, twerp.
Today is all about words
seehowtheyflow.
Lately they have been very elusive, evading, hiding in the archives on my mind.
I reach in as they rush to the back squashing up tightly against the backwall fearful of being caught.
Once said they are exposed,
out there.
I can tell they are present, I know they have been here before, but for now they hide in the shadows of the mental cerebral crypt. Pretending not to exist but their footprints are cemented in my memory
distant though they may be.
Images, concepts, incidents, instances – a moment shared, a moment in time all translated into words.
Memory, remember, memorise, recall, compos mentis
brain cells once young, fresh, active, bright, receptive, recollection sharp, vivid - now slow grey sluggish closed old
dying.
I cry all night thinking about me and my concern.
How could you not know , that my soul is about to burn.
Thanks is not a word that is compatible.
Gimme a chance , i will prove my self capable.
You told me , chance is not always got; we should go in search of.
I should create my own; dusting the talents i hide thereof.
I am not gonna pester you anymore by asking,
but if I don't , how will i know in which way in lacking?
I will suffer now and work hard all day,
so that I could live a life in my own way.
Now that I m getting more clear about my life,
I m strong enough to face it than letting my nerve run through the knife.
I know you have so much of responsibilities and people to take care.
Forget me! I will take care of mine , it's a dare.
I was thinking people for future and lived life for the present,
but you made me think about life now for a future that would be pleasant.
One day everyone might leave us and go and we would be all alone.
But now if I have a grip, i might not suffer that time and mourn.
Don't think your bothering me and interfering in my work.
If not you , then who ? Around you I am a berk!
- GAYATHRI RHAMAKRISHNA
I told you that it will never work
I'm not willing to loose everything you berk
Eventually, someone will tell our loved ones
Then all we had will be destroyed and we’ll be undone
How could you say I’m seeing others, I’m alone
Come ant time to the house, I’m always at home
I have no one else, how could you accuse me
It is you I want and to see
I can’t leave him no matter what
Don’t make me out to be some kind of tart
By the way at the time your son was nasty to mine
I couldn’t ignore it, it was not fine
Meeting with kids will only draw unwanted attention
And I don’t want you or me to loose everything you mentioned
I do love you but no longer say so
Because we cannot be together and this you know
Please don’t do anything to spoil it
We are friends and that’s our secret treat
I don’t want to give anyone the impression that something went on
We got together and to them they might see it all wrong
I know we are friends but we can never meet
Whether in the open or being discrete
Questions were asked about what we do together before
I can’t handle the inquisition anymore
So sorry this has to be the end
Remember, I will always be your loving good friend
Goodbye….