Get Your Premium Membership

Wishful Thinking

An old man sat thinking
Oh what shall I do
I really could do
With a woman or two!
The younger the better
Or three in a bed
Why are these thoughts
Going round in my head
But his looks were not pleasant
His age clearly showed
He looked like a frog
Or more so a toad!
So he came up with a devious plan
To make ladies think
That he was a young man
He joined
With a profile that said
I'm tall, dark and handsome
And damned good in bed
I'm just six feet tall
With piercing blue eyes
And in case you are wondering
It's a respectable size!
I own a nice house
I'm solvent and funny
I drive a Rolls Royce
And I have tons of money
And if you are game 
For pleasure and fun
Please do get in touch
I just could be the one
He then sorted through photos
Of himself years gone by
With no wrinkles and handsome
Looking smart, suit and tie
Then he posted his profile
With his hopes raised sky high
But he looked in the mirror 
And saw with a sigh
A beer belly, false teeth
Specs, walking stick
Looked down and oh 
He could not see his dick!
I can get some viagra
A dot on the card
Apparently works wonders
For making things hard!
But there was a huge problem
He thought whilst he sighed
One look at me and
She will know that I lied
What's the solution
We will meet in the dark
Late at night with no moon
At the local park
But he knew damned well
That it would never work
And went to bed feeling
Like such a prize berk!

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018

Post Comments
Please Login to post a comment
Date: 12/20/2018 2:33:00 PM
Hello Linda Hwett, this person was very honest with himself. That was goo he realized this fact. A poem well done. Have a nice day my friend. Nice to meet you. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Login to Reply
Date: 12/19/2018 5:55:00 PM
Liked your write Linda. By the time a man gets to greener pastures, he can't climb the fence. Guess "berk" is slang for a Spanish word meaning "pendejo"
Login to Reply
Date: 12/19/2018 5:33:00 PM
a hard act to follow
Login to Reply
Date: 11/20/2018 4:20:00 PM
Makes me so glad I have never tried internet dating lol have had friends with experiences almost as bad as this lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Login to Reply
Hewett Avatar
Linda Hewett
Date: 11/20/2018 4:24:00 PM
Yes, I have heard horror stories which inspired this, I have just read about abc which i have been posting my poems as and they are not, silly me x