Long Before lunch Poems
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Now, my story is not a fun one
Nor does it make much sense
For, at times, it’s quite confusing
But it goes a little like this:
I feel in love at a young age
When I was just fifteen
I didn’t listen to my friends’ advice;
My boyfriend, I continued to see.
He was cold and hateful towards me
And could always throw a good punch
We’d viciously fight before school
But he’d apologize before lunch.
I tried not to believe it
And just listen to my heart
But it landed me in a bad place
And here’s where my story really gets its start.
I though that I was ready for the commitment
Because we didn’t act as wild
But I was wrong to trust him
And soon, I was pregnant with his child.
I felt so alone and saddened
Like I had no other choice
I needed my future, needed my life
And so, this child, I chose to destroy.
I couldn’t take care of a baby
I knew that would never do
And I sat down and thought it out
And said, “What would Jesus do?”
I prayed about it all one night
And cried my eyes out too
I asked God to give me an answer
Tell me what to do.
I spent one night crying
And then the deciding was done
I made my choice, that was it,
My inner battle was won.
Nine months slowly crawled by
As I kept up with my grades
And whenever it just got too hard,
I feel to my knees and prayed.
At first, I wanted to give her up
She only reminded me of her father’s shoves
But the moment I looked in her baby blue eyes,
My eyes filled with love.
And that was twenty years ago
I am now thirty-six
With a beautiful young daughter
Who’s had her own problems I helped fix.
Though her life has never been easy
And money is always tight
To know that she’s happy and healthy
Lets me sleep with a smile at night.
I speak on behalf of women
All around the world
So that they believe they can find the strength
To take care of their little boys and girls.
‘So,’ I tell them in confidence,
‘If you need help, come to me
For I will never turn you away
Just trust in your strength and see.’
‘Though America will frown on you
And refuse your searching hand,
Just never give up and it’ll pay off
Because, really, girls, you were never bad.’
And when I’ve finished talking,
I turn to my daughter again
And think to myself, if I had a choice,
I’d make the same one again.
I wrote a great book, part memoir, part novel
Shopped it around, I ain’t too proud to grovel
Got kicked upstairs to a big publishing head
He invited me in, and here's what was said:
This screed you call Crack House of the 13 Gables
Is one long rant mixed with recycled fables
It wanders aimlessly, but never resolves
Characters pop out of nowhere, then simply dissolve
But the symbolism, sir, allow me to explain
The Victorian parlor represents pathos and pain
In the attic are mothballed broken dreams and betrayals
It's gonna shift your paradigm right off its rails
It’s a thousand-page odyssey into the surreal
The hedge maze is where all 14 sub-plots congeal
Enough! The only reason I called you in, punk
Is to meet the lunatic who scribbled this junk
So I slunk away, not a little dejected
Ain’t much fun being literarily rejected
Trudged back to my grueling, stale coffee grind
Working 15-hour days, going out of my mind
Then one day I met an old pal for some beers
Hadn't seen him in quite a few years
I told him about my rejection slip wrangle
He said buck up, you just need the right angle
I like reading novels, now don’t get me wrong
But writin' 'em, man, that just takes too damn long
And what a huge risk, 16 years you devoted
For no payday at all, just your ego imploded
There's no need to pen the next Moby Dick
Try something short, now that is the trick!
So, I thanked my friend for his most sage advice
And took it to heart without thinkin' thrice
And now I am back as a voice for the ages
Except I'm makin' my mark in far fewer pages
I write sound bites and maxims and pithy remarks
T-shirt slogans and jokes, I just do on a lark
I bang out poems and lyrics at the drop of a hat
Dash off 17 syllables in ten seconds flat
Haikus by the bunch
Cook up a batch before lunch
Put that in your pipe
____________________________
For Humor Contest
Sponsored by: Carol Eastman
It was about 10 am when Brick finally made it to his office
he was just about to sit down when his phone rang
"23rd Homicide " Brick this is Bill its about time you showed
I've been at work over an hour while you was sleeping
Must be nice to be a big shot and get to sleep in
Bill said I " you know what they say You hang with horses
you get saddle soars... Funny Brick very funny. ha ha ha
Hey what say you and I grab some lunch today and go over
this Samurai thing my treat, Hey now you Texans are pretty
well known for being tight with a buck but your on.
How about Louie's over on Tempest and 3rd I hear they make
a mean BBQ meal over there and I'll bring what I got and we'll
pa-ruse through it. Pa-ruse where did you come up with a word like that
pa-ruse...man your killing me. Well a man has to broadin his vocabulary
ya know, Brick stick with your Brooklyn accent will ya I'll see you at noon
OK Bill see you then,Oh by the way I don't think they have horse stalls
at Louie's so you may want to drive a squad It'll be easier for you
ha ha ha very funny, see you at noon. With that I gathered up as
much of the file as I had to take with me and headed out, I figured I
would stop at a couple places before lunch and check some things out.
I was just pullin out of the garage when the call came in, 1-william 13
1 William 13 go ahead, Brick we have another stiff under the Bywater bridge
sounds like our cutter is at it again, 1 William 13 Roger headin over now
Lieutenant " as soon as I got the call I called the station on the Radio and had
them patch me into the 31st and told Bill to meet me on scene now he gets first hand
to be cont.
I walked from the office with a newfound vigor;
it was around 2:15 PM and my guts were at ease.
I'd had a good night's sleep, a good morning's work,
and a brief but vigorous workout right before lunch.
I'd put in some work in the early afternoon,
but I wasn't too busy for a 13-minute stroll around the plaza.
High sixties. The tiniest hint of a breeze. Soft, warm sunshine.
A stomach filled but not overly so.
My muscles pleased to be mildly exerted
after knowing rougher wear.
A body rejoicing in self-improvement,
traveling backwards to a younger time
even while fantasizing over what it might become.
A mind content that it can navigate its tasks without trouble,
always ready to immerse itself
in the tiniest of beautiful truths
that the world constantly presents.
A soul that sees itself on the path to God,
trusting to a happy ending even while believing
there will be much pain before then.
A heart brimming with zealous fire,
so ready to give itself to another.
And my heart-soul gasped a little in a moment of realization,
as it has at times before.
What a perfect day it is.
You have given me so very much.
And these blissful days see me on the rise,
disciplining my mind,
strengthening my body,
learning better how to guard my soul,
and watching my impatient little heart
waiting for its turn at a dream.
Oh, how perfect!
To be caught up in the halcyon perfume of fairest winter-spring,
warm in the sun and cool in the shade.
To have much, but yet still have reasonable hope
that tomorrow might be sunnier, still.
6 February 2024
In quantum mechanics particles remain entangled
And connected over huge distances.
So that actions performed on one particle
Still affect the others in the web or wave.
Einstein called entanglement "Spooky at a distance"
Because he couldn't explain the fate of Schrödinger's cat.
In a strange twist of fate, scientists
Discovered a new phenomenon called 'rhyme'
Which was related to 'strangeness' of quarks.
Rhyme was the missing link between entropy and entanglement.
Rhyme was what kept particles entangled by strong reason.
But the law of entropy ensures that ordered entangled particles that rhyme
Must dissociate fast to maximum disorder, releasing huge amounts of energy.
The breakthrough came when NASA employed poets to entwine reason and rhyme
To create Rhyme Drive, a quantum ion drive engine beyond belief,
Which was capable of getting a spacecraft to Mars in 42 minutes flat.
Speed of light shattered by rhyme and reason, science and poetry enwrapped in strangeness.
So it was dawn at Cape Canaveral for launch of Rhyme 1 to Mars,
With gaggle of poets and scientists on board the first flight,
Ready to prime and prompt Rhyme Drive to cite and perform.
No need for sandwiches, as this touch and go return flight, would be back before lunch.
Hawking and Branson embraced, and cheered the lift off Rhyme 1
Waving a banner "Rhyme Warps Time, See You Soon"
I went to the store with a list on which my
wife had numbered 10 items. I bought
1 loaf of bread, 2 quarts of milk, 3 dozen eggs,
4....!!!!! (number 10 was a 10 lb bag of flour)
I tried to return a “free gift” once.
I bought one “forever stamp”, thinking
that was the only one I would ever need.
I asked once, if they had white wine at communion.
I carried a box of granola bars to work once when
on a diet. I ate 12 bars before lunch and never
lost an ounce.
I believed my doctor, when he said, “Charlie, I
don’t think it would hurt to check your prostate.”
Meaning that it would be a good idea. But he
was right. It didn’t hurt—after I passed out.
Once I didn’t pay attention to where I squatted in a
Cyprus knee swamp.
I tried to take a trigger fish off my hook by putting my
thumb in it’s mouth like a bass. He ate it like it was a bass.
I asked my wife to go on birth control. She had triplets.
She blamed it on me. Heck if It hadn’t been for me she
might have had a litter.
When I first got my cat I let it lick me on the face.
Then one day I saw what it licked when I wasn’t around.
© Jul 14 2010 For Joe's "Top Ten" contest
I smoke my whacky tobaccy quite regularly.
I smoke my whacky tobaccy along with my morning coffee
and just before lunch so I can bring on the munchies.
A day doesn't go by
without it being indulged by I.
A little whacky tobaccy.
I smoke it on the job. I smoke it at home.
I smoke it with others. I smoke it alone.
I smoke it whether or not I'm having a good or bad head.
I smoke it when I have trouble sleeping, just before going to bed.
I smoke it to deter me from smoking cigarettes.
Between those two smoking evils, whacky tobaccy is the less.
I smoke it everyday and every night.
I smoke it when I need to increase my appetite.
The only major thing bad about whacky tobaccy that I must admit
is that you can get arrested for using or possessing it.
I smoke it for pleasure, medicinally and also because it's a vice.
It still damages your health and that's never cool or nice,
but it's a health risk that rarely yours truly occasionally takes.
I smoke it when it's there, but if it's not, I take long breaks
and before you know it, it's a habit long gone that I don't even miss
until someone approaches me and asks, "Hey Dude, Ya want a hit off this?"
Invitation to a Valentine Bash
(Direction to the Venue)
I live on the Heartland Estate
across from the Elysian Fields,
At the corner of Lovers Lane
and Pure Passion Boulevard
in the town of Romeoville.
If you are taking a midnight train
Get down at the Juliet Junction;
Catch a bus to the Break-heart pass
and get off at the Harem Heights stop.
You'll reach my Pleasure Palace
before the break of day.
Flying of course is not advised
as it is impossible to dodge Cupid's arrows!
But if you are planning to drive,
Take the highway to Elysium.
You might have to stay
overnight at the Erotica Inn,
famous for sensual simulator kiosks.
After some luscious nibbling
at the Casanova Cafe,
You'll arrive before lunch
at my enchanting Chateau.
Bring your lust luggage,
Loads of love potion
and lots of charm.
Running amuck is strictly prohibited.
There will be plenty of time
to cuddle and coo
at the Pleasure Point hill,
Loll in a pool of honey and wine
and soak in the sensual glow
of a bohemian moon.
RSVP: A week shy of Valentine's Day
Or, please call 666-PASSION.
~12/25/16
for Mystic Rose contest
Frazzled more than dazzled by her new employer, Mrs. Fries.
This weird job she had taken was worse than her last four tries.
She could not believe they were progressively rude and unkind.
The plausibility of this possibility had never entered her mind.
The boss, an arrogant man, with a concrete crocodile smile.
Would have been surprised to know she had his number already.
His charming manner he could easily increase up and down by dial.
Name of Frederick Pomp Peaburger Junior; we called him Freddy.
He dialed up the dial, and pretended to be suave, debonair and quick.
In actuality, this moron was a Mama’s Boy, arrogant, irritating and slick.
Fries figured this pouting banana out before lunch that very first day.
He was okay seconds until his mouth and his mind got in his own way.
So, Mrs. Fries was on to another job hunt, I think this was seventy-two.
The company fill apart, because Daddy died, and junior was no glue.
The Mama’s boy’s pout got bigger and longer every single solitary day.
Mrs. Fries did not have to see it, for she was squirrelled safely away.
(Direction to the Venue)
I live on the Heartland Estate
Across from the Elysian Fields,
At the corner of Lovers Lane
and Pure Passion Boulevard
in the town of Romeoville.
If you are taking a midnight train
Get down at the Juliet Junction;
Catch a bus to the Breakheart pass
And get off at the Harem Heights stop.
You'll reach my Pleasure Palace
before the break of day.
Flying of course is not advised
As it is impossible to dodge
Cupid's arrows!
But if you are planning to drive,
Take the highway to Elysium.
You might have to stay
overnight at the Erotica Inn,
Famous for sensual stimulator Kiosks.
After some luscious nibblings
at the Casanova Cafe,
You'll arrive before lunch
at my enchanting Chateau.
Bring your lust luggage,
Loads of love potion and lots of charm.
Running amuck is strictly prohibited.
There will be plenty of time to cuddle
and coo at the Pleasure Point hill,
Loll in a pool of honey and wine,
And soak in the sensual glow
of a bohemian moon.
RSVP: A week shy of Valentine's Day
Or, please call 666-PASSION.