My All Time Top Ten Bloopers
I went to the store with a list on which my
wife had numbered 10 items. I bought
1 loaf of bread, 2 quarts of milk, 3 dozen eggs,
4....!!!!! (number 10 was a 10 lb bag of flour)
I tried to return a “free gift” once.
I bought one “forever stamp”, thinking
that was the only one I would ever need.
I asked once, if they had white wine at communion.
I carried a box of granola bars to work once when
on a diet. I ate 12 bars before lunch and never
lost an ounce.
I believed my doctor, when he said, “Charlie, I
don’t think it would hurt to check your prostate.”
Meaning that it would be a good idea. But he
was right. It didn’t hurt—after I passed out.
Once I didn’t pay attention to where I squatted in a
Cyprus knee swamp.
I tried to take a trigger fish off my hook by putting my
thumb in it’s mouth like a bass. He ate it like it was a bass.
I asked my wife to go on birth control. She had triplets.
She blamed it on me. Heck if It hadn’t been for me she
might have had a litter.
When I first got my cat I let it lick me on the face.
Then one day I saw what it licked when I wasn’t around.
© Jul 14 2010 For Joe's "Top Ten" contest
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