Long Beastie Poems

Long Beastie Poems. Below are the most popular long Beastie by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Beastie poems by poem length and keyword.


Ignoble Harness Gummed Facebook Ethics

dubious churning benevolent altruism

this anonymous beastie boy boilerplate endeavors: 

(instagramming literary maven) questing user yawps 

critically griping knowing personal tidbits xeroxed blithely, 

freely jeopardized nuggets (revealed vital), zealously doled 

heftily linkedin private treasure trove, (Xfiles breached 

flagrant junction mandating righteous validating zero 

divulgence heaves lamentable ploy, tellingly xing bald 

felonious figurative joyriding, nonchalantly revealing 

valuable (Ziegfeld bomb crackling) debacle, heralding 

litigious proven, X-rated, basic foolhardy (Laurel) jack

knifed, networked, rapaciously villainous, zealously dubious, 

horrendously lowball practices, thru (Cambridge Analytica) 

xy zealots, asininely execrable, intolerantly malignant, 

quintessentially ugly, yawningly dastardly, horrendously 

lamentable, pathetically treasonous, xtra blameworthy, 

fiendishly jawboning, mindlessly paradigm quaking, 

unethical yahoo careless gross injustice jangling kow

towing, pleasing the Xmen, banefully Facebook friggin 

jerky maliciously narcissistically opprobrious predacious 

quisling underhandedly yo-yoing cello glomming kik off

preachiness spar!


Premium Member And Along Came a Spider

A spider was climbing my walls,
The size of it truly appalls,
I’m certain it’s a lass,
With a kardashian a ss,
I couldn’t spy male spider balls!

I shouted for my hubby to come,
He gasped  at that huge spiders bum,
But my old Henry hoover,
Just couldn’t remover her,
I’m screaming Help I want my mum!

My p ussy cat eyed up the spider,
She wanted this beastie insider her,
Huge spider is walking,
Cat’s  expert at stalking,
She corners it by my  step strider

As Tiddles is superb at pouncing,
That spider got a severe trouncing,
And now it is dead,
What more can be said,
The death of spider I’m announcing

For Julie thanks for the inspiration.  bb xx

09/02/11/
Form: Limerick

Waiting For Good Dough

No matter yours truly
(potential rising star -
analogous to ascending yeast)
bred for easy street
life of po' witless
mendicant nimbly,

pointlessly, and rhythmically
shuffles (think tramp)
along his poetic little feet
garden variety beastie boy
aimlessly, fortuitously, halfheartedly,
and mindlessly follows

one after another backstreet
revisiting, reminiscing, and relegating
lofty mollycoddled station bittersweet
birthright fame and fortune
teasingly did greet

finding twenty first century hobo
shack hulled with poverty
(think dirt poor),
I shoe cannot defeat,
which accursed fate socked yours truly,

where one after another failure did beat
once unassailable esprit de corps
near ready and willing to meet
exalted, fabled, gilded... seat
but woeful naiveté tricked with deceit

mine childlike innocence dripping effete
characteristics easily swindled for Pete
sakes since... young manhood, now wizened
old looking schnorrer marveling,
imagining, envisioning aggregating riches

coaxing, forming, hatching...
liaisons particularly romantically discrete
lavishing untold money during heat
of passion oblivious,
how ingénues with sweet
enticingly, ineluctably, luridly, beckoned

eventually no exit and other ploys
playfully blindsiding me with
one after another promiscuous tweet
barricades no exit wrought
with razor wire and concrete.

I Ham Quill Tee For Gobbledygook

I ham quill tee for gobbledygook...
and ruffling tail feathers!

An innocent miss steak kin...
once former main lion den cha hoard servant,
resident iz cow herd vegetarian boar
hoof faux whatever reason iz explore

ring bing foo fighting beastie boy, who doth
newt practice, what he preaches your
truly battens down chicken
coop hatches so... call me galore
re: us hypocritic,
this honest to dog omnivore – more

accurate said buzzfeeding primate -
*****sapiens, he whelk hams
adieu after quick bonjour
hears ear splitting eeyore
deaf finning chore
tills unable to ignore

admits transgression,
now wonder wherefore
whether art thou still
game to reed my adore
hub bull poetry
understandable if ye deplore

such atrocious, egregious, opprobrious...,
violating ethical core
puss regarding straying
against dietary herbivore
rudimentary eel lamb ants
(chocolate covered my dear Watson)

boot fault in the starfish...por
favor mice elf can
oxe plain twittering like plover
with reasonable rhyme for sure
don't get doggy dimples in bunch
cause to skewer me but... but before...

sending killing squad to slaughter -
this puppy, aye kindly honour
my wish and don
me noggin with pompadour
as fetching drag queen
torpedo sized bosom

squirting parti-color
milk as self defense mechanism
averting casus belli thus
amidst melee I abhor
find self on horns of dilemma
life story of this poor

cooked goose flambé
caught between rock and trapdoor
special cannibal delight
where madding crowd
chants "send him back"
accursed unconscionable roar

ring anger, but lurch for eats,
an impulsive reflex courtesy extempore
rain nee yes unforgivable poor
craven impulse to up peas hunger
uncontrollably craving regarding carnivore

pang additionally not further injure
ring innocent animal plus more
to this fishy tail than
meats the Wawa birdseye.
Form: Rhyme

Lxii Years Old and He Still Carries a Security Blanket

LXII+ years old and he still carries a security blanket

Move over Linus
Van Pelt of Peanuts fame,
cuz yours truly
also psychologically lame
since prepubescence
mine noticeably long hair

delivered inner comfort,
yet found some classmates
calling me "hippy" by name
though other tormentors among them
hurled expletive laced offensive insults
even ethnic slurs much less tame.

Absolute zero
anti-bullying laws prevailed ahoy
when reasonably rhyming poet
just a little beastie boy
"mean kids" hurtful tactics

they did deploy,
though one bookish lad named Donald Hoy,
he rode the same bus as me,
and most likely practiced magic ploy
to ward off nemesis.

Impossible mission
to detangle mane reason why
I experienced omnipotent
hair reed bond neither thy
father, mother nor therapist

could understand or qualify
outsize (obsessive/compulsive)
significance well nigh
much more (hyperbolically writing)
blatantly mystifying and unsettling

versus comprehending meaning
regarding the bridge on the River Kwai,
whereat these long strands
emanating from scalp, I
imagined them extending
out into space into no fly
zone, and if adored locks threatened
with someone brandishing scissors
one puny lad would cry.

Parents did not berate,
when early within mein kampf,
no matter my mother did execrate
obsessive compulsive thoughts did instigate
long necked pencil geek son
did unwittingly irritate
analogous to Samson

(though Delilah not my mate),
I imbue power courtesy each golden lock
atop me addled sub tracked pate,
where fifty plus shades of gray matter
houses ticky tacky psyche substrate,
which doth bubble, gurgle and percolate.

Only upon taking me last breath of air
viz, when grim reaper delivers death,
I will unroll welcome me
Scottish Harris tweed mat without fanfare
(for this common man),
and just maybe allow, enable, and provide
thee opportunity for scissors

to lop off longish straggly hair
subsequently repurposed into a
security blanket ideally suited
to create creature comfort within lair
for garden variety and generic caveman,
who truth be told lives very near
yours truly in Schwenksville.
Form: Rhyme


The Carnivore Within

The Carnivore Within...

Meaty morsels besiege
this vegetarian advocate
yet, the atavistic Jainist within me decries,
egg hen hies his, and lamb hence
carnivorous ache that won't abate
case in point being on the horns

hoof ah dill ham ma, neither willing,
nor ready to abdicate
nagging, succumbing, and writhing,
asper Pavlov's dog salivation,
Ike hen not obliterate
every now and again curr raven

hunger for game, though aye abominate
hone beak able unethical abuse
delivered sans electric ham not prod,
nor pleased, when yours truly doe eth abrogate
his staunch conviction against
merciless maltreatment of animals

which doth exhaust and accelerate
environmental degradation, and realized
moo mints agoo, a temptation did accentuate
bull dozing tenuous die hard longing,
how quickly temptation,
recidivism, and predilection to accommodate,

and appease feeling mouth watering za eel
for ma ham mulls hamstrung taste, I did acclimate
and acquire ineradicable taste primal beastie boys
relished after the hunt squatting by flick ring fire
with other village people 
tearing killed deer - if accurate,

nonetheless a grievance 
(akin to heresy) as a traitor
Joe against fundamental aversion to reactivate
cow hard lee self betrayal caving against tenets
regarding aversion to the very business
of slaughter (houses), and I eve hen advocate
against gluten free NON GMO free ranging

creatures, who can experience pain
and suffering, some display affectionate
behaviour, plus without doubt agitate
without success to savor natural longevity,
perhaps becoming family pet,
whose tender loving (vittle) care will not alienate

said domesticated innocent 
porpoise full chums
hoof found a caring home, articulate
ting compassion, tha hare fore,
a conscientious baldpate

or hirsute organic caretaker,
would neigh ver deer stirrup the roost
ruffle any tail feathers, only celebrate
affection, and mane lee horse around!

Incorrigible Recalcitrant Doppelganger Mine

Incorrigible Recalcitrant - Doppelganger (mine)

Ala Goofus and Gallant 
highlights my diametrically 
divergent alter egos
always the reserved 
obedient docile boy
afeared to stray outside narrow

circumscribed comfort zone
figuratively tethered
extremely short leash
choked me like yoked oxen,
albeit non red dually bullish
under bated breath

otherwise submissive
internalizing fury and rage
relentlessly lambasted
daily school bus ride
analogous highway to hell,
thus envisioned monstrous physique
linkedin to superpowers...

whereby giant beastie boy
within scrawny nerd
visiting jocular comeuppance
bopping "jocks" on their beanies
with rotten tangerines
(Tom Lehrer would be proud)

knocking senseless nasty brutes
gleefully pummeling rapscallions
casually, heroically avenging
purging immediate threat
while smugly jauntily
relishing carefree blessed awesome

fistpumping air joyous ride
duplicating bad ass daring
do dexterously doubling
(wishful) dream come true
one prior pipsqueak - yours truly
punishing pestiferous classmates,

who sadistically doled
out daily dose,
non USDA approved
cavalier fierce injustice
taken aback when mine knuckles
compress hoodlums opprobrious

wicked yakking (actually silenced)
fountainhead spewing toxins
exuberantly effusively ebulliently
cleaning principle ringleader's clocks
at long last
traumatizing measure for measure

antagonistic arch nemesis
inflicting insufferable torment
once passively quaffed ruffians threats,
now all's well that ends well,

no matter yours truly expelled
forever pleasantly humming
merrily merrily, merrily,
merrily, imagined life
tis but a dream.

Impossible Mission To Identify Mine Heretically Rooted Hair Issue

Worrisome male pattern baldness
never recedes from forefront of mine noggin.

Though loss of hair
NOT characteristic within genes,
nor hearty chromosomes,
nevertheless, anxiety prevails,
that yours truly will witness bald pate.

Additionally his mood directly
linkedin with plethora of irrational notions,
whereby such groundless, mindless, rootless...
senseless thoughts underlie and sway moody blues
of super tramping fo fighting beastie boy.

After richly lathering and
thoroughly massaging aging scalp
constituting head property one very familiar
long haired pencil necked geek,
I subsequently rinse out shampoo
and proceed to shake out matted hair
back and forth to and fro
(think whiplash) goes sodden crown
even thee missus coon sitters me a freak.

In the mane, I seek to emulate a puff (fee) daddy,
(albeit with spindleshanks for legs),
the laughing stock of mankind,
no more muscular since being a wee little laddie.

Euphoria and joie de vivre harkened
likened to when angels sing
nsync with me, a yankee doodle dandy
IF freshly washed golden locks
fluff up like cotton candy
other disgruntlement arises
spurring yours truly to drown sorrows
courtesy one hundred proof brandy.

Mad At Self For Dozing Off While Meditating

(alternately titled: venerated
uber transcendent state haint give me no lyft)

Ultimate mission (ofttimes possible)
closed eyed insight courtesy meditation
ideally buoys state of consciousness
to naturally induced doze zen realm
disgruntlement arises if yours truly
unaware headstrong winds overtake helm

I invariably drift into light sleep
hours later jostle awake
(analogously experience self named
compressed Rip Van Winkle syndrome)
just smidgen fifty plus shades
gray grizzle coating chin

clumsily amble toward nearest sink
splash cold water across face
apply towel - daub cheeks
various sundry mucus loosened
thick globs phlegm
subsequently, significantly, satisfactorily

expel smallish secretion
out nostrils (pressing
one damned nostril closed
expelling repeating process
other nostril cleared) Semitic nose
clean as a whistle

don glasses to espy time
digitally printed white
within rectangular panel
courtesy electricity illuminating
Verizon set top box
reckon eyes clockface reads

what the ƒ*©* in dog's name...
of Sam Hill, Judas Priest, Matthew Scott...
dadgummit yikes, the time
way past bewitching hour
relaxation cast sleeping spell,
I awoke with a start

'curse saliva drooling and curdling
chin see? ole beastie boy body (mine)
aging baby boomer codger
don't be fooled by
boyish good looks (mine)
nevertheless feral, corporeal

being somewhat refreshed
particularly quaffing
CALIFIA COLD BREW MOCHA
to smooth edges jagged grogginess
thus set self able, eager,
ready, and willing to dash off

aforementioned poem at expense
handily deferred (furloughed) 
exercise ma moose hills with
two fifteen pound dumbbells
least till complete literary task
which syrup rise ending snuck up
from outer limits of twilight zone.

Formidable flourishing fiends

Formidable flourishing fiends...

harangue since landing 
yours truly immersed 
in a dream-like 
fiercesome state of war,  
not quite a dream 
can be described 
as a "hypnagogic state" 
while virtually in Singapore,

where Katy Perry 
namesake of a lion doth roar
noise amplified courtesy dissonance 
while nine inch nails synthesize 
scraping across chalk board
evoking discordant soundcloud 
foo fighting beastie boys 
comprising a quatuor.

Socked away within
cerebral nooks and crannies
house mailer daemons
inconveniencing yours truly
i.e. an Indus das scribe
hub bull mendicant
bullying jimmying,
jump starting, joy riding
junket at breakneck speed
disregarding dangerous signposts

warning reckless (heedless) highjackers
speeding stolen heavily
sedated body (mine)
slap happily, obliviously,
jauntily (devil may
care attitude) careering
across rubble strewn
bombed out stone age terrain
gunning engine like
there's no tomorrow

zipping past crumpled
suspended abridged abutment
jarring sole abducted,
bound and gagged one tramp (me)
hurling over edge of cliff
temporarily free of gravity,
(albeit an infinitesimal eye blink)
between life and death
rapidly descending in accordance
with laws of physics,

when suddenly motion stops
as if thee Earth stood still
freezing all life forms
held as if invisibly tethered,
when ghostly debut appearance
courtesy Rod Serling
rattles of his trademark narration
"...fifth dimension beyond
that which is known to man.

...This is the dimension of imagination."
I resort to aforementioned loose analogy
to approximate mental state of limbo,
asper...this man falling to Earth
minus parachute on par
with crash test dummy
an absent firmament
to feel securely grounded
held stock still,

when moments before plunging
pitched head over heels...
only to find this mortal,
either entering or exiting
somnambulant state
only groggily awaking
out of deep sleep
falling out of bed
singing hup bout poor lovely bones.

Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace