Long Barf Poems

I used to slit my arms open like I was peeling fruit—careful, slow, watching the skin give way like wet paper. The box cutter blade was dull, sticky from God knows what—maybe dried glue, maybe...

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Dream state yields deep sleep personifications

Upon lying supine - eye shutter lids
into the land of Wynken, Blynken, and Nod,
where the sandman beckons and bids
dead to the webbed wide world,
yours truly immune to wakefulness 
despite being...

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Limricks prompted by a comment made by someone today

It's a fact, and no longer just a rumor
Some soup people barf at toilet humor
Have you sniffed your own butt 
It stinks so keep it shut
Pessimism must...

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Here, at The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, 

Poetrysoup is on the menu! 

And to save our sacred website, perhaps the world ...

We must entertain and enter vague conspicuous contests 
With a true...

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AIR TRAVEL

When travelling by air, the first thing that you do,
Is gather all your stuff and pack your bags,
And especially when you travel by plane,
Make sure they are all equipped with luggage tags.

We usually print...

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“Truth isn’t truth,”
that’s what some Cap’n Obvious toady recently said

He was pissy mad, when his angry tears wet the bed

Lieutenant Rudy Brown-Nose 
a has-been sniffing the swine caboose breeze:
Loco breath wafting 
between sulfuric methane, ...

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Winkin Blinkin And Nod, Sans...
Wonderful World Of Dreamland Furloughed!

Hours elapsed since I did sleep off
and feed my belly from the trough.

What...the...creaking screech re: sound
ding, (an unexpected  pro noun
sub bull mashup attributed 
to partial government...

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the apple tree greed 
the apple tree greed 

he has an apple a green apple 
he is the only person in this room 
with a green apple 
suppose suppose NOW 
he has MORE of those...

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Gloriously "FAKE" Early Boyhood

Yah, ma brew their,
     and American sister golden hair -
     afar and away
book as aye ken ream hem bar,
     yea...

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The jokes here about leaders show 
How uniformed we truly are.
Some supernatural......sinless, poets 
living up with the twinkling stars?

Are you kidding me??
What planet do you live on?
The great “unelected” white washed 
masses?

I see many whose...

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Maybe it is all in my head.
If that’s the case, I’d rather be dead.
Please let me know I’m not imagining it all.
I know what I hear when unspoken echos call.

But i know It’s much easier...

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8 mile Road

Date: Mon, Dec 21 2015 at 1:50 AM

I hear the train coming
An I'm chasing the train humming
I see the smoke puffing
I see the light in the dungeon
I see fight Tussling
I see might Hustling
I...

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The world is burning down in ashes
And up rises the horror; sailing in skies
From the charred corpses that lay down;
Marred and maimed,
Up rises the smoke of terror
Amidst the war cry !

Let me lie down
For all...

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Remember the children’s book,
“Alexander and the Terrible, 
Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day”? 
Well, yesterday was mine.
Started off okay, got up late,
Got our breakfasts, dressed, made the beds.
Cleaned the cat litter
And found that SweetiePie, 21...

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Brenda and Banron bounced slowly on his boat
as the brilliant sun sparkled brightly on the glistening water.
Big and burly he was the boy she sought after in her book.
She smiled bravely as his battered pole...

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[In UK English, Bath sounds like Barf not Baff, Laugh is Larf, not Laff etc. Apologies if the rhyme fails in other locales]



Don’t pull the plug out when you’re sitting in the bath
If you do...

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Hanging out at Santa Monica Pier,
wining in dixie cups, dancing in the sand.
Chants of drink…drink…drink.
I took no time to think…think…think.

I wake up with a cacophonous surf,
unlike the gentle roar of a seashell,
and my head pounds,...

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I can tolerate most any grub that is placed upon my plate,
Though I must be somewhat selective so as to control my weight!
I love a juicy New Yawk steak and taters with a slab of...

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BUT   ESPECIALLY   EAST   LANSING


Cell phone with a woodywoodpecker ringtone;
Russian style  of guitar-playing with strummed beats;
Regina-Saskatoon red-eye with “collapsible” seats;
Getting a ticket for 2 minutes in a Lansing no-parking...

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I still have a splinter from fall. 
From climbing a tree that was tall. 
Seeing mittens or a scarf. 
Makes me want to barf. 

When winter makes an appearance. 
It should make sense. 
I just...

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Social Grace-less Gladys is right in my face.
I am glad to be wearing a mask because she usually spits in my mouth
As she talks,
She has never given a bit of distance.
I am sure social distancing...

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Stomach growling
     harsh, 
                 scowling
at me to feed...

Emaciating myself
  toward Emancipation,

A hunger strike of...

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Tiny Tears dolls and tea sets remind me of my childhood.
My twin always wanted to play with them, for her own good.
Not a girly girl, I was resentful and wanted to be Peter Pan.
Not the...

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All the way from Ontario to Hollywood,
          was one of the greatest comedians to live.
On a small stage at Second City he stood,
   ...

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Man, it’s been four long dog years!
Forlorn doggone tears
of toil 
and trouble

It’s a flee collar fact,
this feels like forty years
of Sirius jaw smack:

Loss leader of the pack
has got a Cujo shifty,
barf shuffle

Spit pissing 
constant doggie...

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