In the Garden
There are giant rabbits,
in the garden we just planted.
I know because I have seen them.
None are carrying a watch you see,
but that does not mean,
you should not believe me.
They ate the beans and the corn,
they ate the tomatoes and the radishes...
but they left the carrots alone?
You might ask why???
My guess in colored blind mania.
My carrots this year are white,
and purple and gold.
There were none to be orange at all,
not until the fall.
Strange seeds you see,
came to me,
and I planted them right up.
They were ordered to entertain,
educate, amuse and confuse the vermin.
Alas,
They were none of the above,
they landed like a dove,
and headed back to their homes,
loaded for bear...
and all of next winter.
I tell you...
there are rabbits in the garden...
Britches' Idioms
Composed: by Miracle Man
1/27/2021
“Britches” is now just a has been, an “ol’ used to be,”
though “he’s loaded for bear” he remains carefree.
He’s faster than “a chicken on a Cheeto” at finger lickin,
life is tough, but “like a dead horse, he ain’t kickin.”
Once “tough as whet leather” he’s now top drawer,
but still tells “how the cow ate the cabbage” and more.
“From trimming tail feathers” he’s become somewhat scarred,
but like a cheap gun, “he shoots quick and kicks hard.”
“He’s as brave as the first man to eat an oyster” they say,
and “Britches” still believes, “that every dog has it’s day.”
“He was so busy you’d think he was twins” in his youth,
now “he has senior moments” being “long in the tooth.”
It’s been “A coon’s age” since life has been fun,
won’t be much longer until life’s “done and done.”
This vexing pencil in turgid fingers I gracelessly hold
Sorcerer's lead conjures up casuistic captions, fools' gold
My peripatetic purple pen winks at my commands
Dancing to a distant drummer on sun-scorched parchment sands
A cunning keyboard mocks me, in cast-iron briefcase locked
Contrarian bent, loaded for bear, at my Muse pointed and cocked
What with erasers missing and forever low on toner ink
It's a wonder the poetic process has not driven me to drink!
I get a call and baby's out fishing
ADT says there's something fishy
I told the girl that I'm on my way
this is not what I needed to end my day
no windows broken, no doors unlocked
I creep in, take the Taurus from the box
I check the whole house by myself
all looks good, just like it was left
I answer the door, it is the cops
I said I'm armed and I'm not in shock
I'm putting it down cause I see his car
he's just there to protect me from harm
I check every closet, ever single nook
I'm making sure that there is no crooks
ready to shoot, loaded for bear
hollow points loaded to protect my lair
all is good, there isn't any perp
I pour some wine after I take another look
climb in the spa, it's been a long day
I'm not going to put the Taurus away!!!
This is a true story!
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