Baby Limerick Poems

Good News

Though they thought they were in command,
God’s timing is perfectly grand.
Expectant with seven,
there’s chuckles in heaven,
“And you thought that this was unplanned?”

BURPS

Miriam Millicent Mannerheim-Merps
Loved calling her two younger brothers, twerps
After she had her first child
Both were very sweet and mild
But when baby nursed, they crooned her

Limericks X

Limericks X

This is a more serious limerick:

The Abandoned Child’s Complaint
by Michael R. Burch

I hoped you might have loved me,
but you pushed me out to sea

Midwife Crisis

I’m summoned to a baby shower
The mum to be’s flustered and dour
As her waters just broke
In front of shocked folk
Her baby arrived in an hour

UNICORN

Out On A Limb

A tall tree I did climb,
on a bet of a dime.
Baby Bear said it was funny,
it was not for the big money.
The limb broke what

a young boy once

a young boy once lived in a zoo
round him such a hullabaloo
to earn his full daily keep
he looked after all the sheep
shovelling up their mounds

Naming First Born

A young couple next door just had a new girl,
They looked at me for ideas so I gave it a whirl.
Since she’s a gem,
I’d name

Bunch of limericks and other funny tricks I

"Okay, tell me, who's gonna be next?"
said the writer of the too-long text.
"No, please, not me," said the lean noun.
"Cut that fat verb there, two

Animal limericks and non-limericks

This morning, my yard was hopping
with squirrels and rabbits busily shopping
for pine needles, berries, and cones,
perfumes, oils, and sweet colognes,
to entice partners for this evening's

He’s Back

At last a leader to get us back on track
who carries a big stick and a big whack.
  What was all a sad joke

BAWDY LIMERICK

I’m laughing at Ex boss, Tess Tickle
Once so anti marriage – how fickle
Dick Pickle she’d marry
Though she calls him Larry
Now married she’s Tess Tickle-Pickle

On baby

Limerick

There once was a man who played in a band
But his trumpet was old, secondhand
He went into a store
To look at some more
But came out

That Annoying Neighbor

That Annoying Neighbor

Why do babies fear their shadow 
What of the dark stalker do they know 
With tearful eyes 
Their voice cries 
For clouds to

Santa's coming down my chimney

Santa's coming down my chimney.
Maybe with a toy truck for Jimmy.
A doll for baby Bea,
A grand piano for me,
And a makeup kit for Sydney!