Porky Pig and Dairy Cow-Moon
did up X-mas at the local saloon
Where Olive Oil and Pepe le pew
had already downed more than a few
Porky Pig and Cow-Moon
joined in by singing a tune...
But when they courted disaster
by all getting plastered
They were tossed out on their keisters
~ and didn’t get sober ‘til almost Easter
The heebie-jeebies came by to play.
I promptly shooed them straight away.
Come on they said as they jiggled and jived.
But my long-awaited guest had just arrived.
Hey! What is happening? She asked with pure happy.
It’s the heebie-jeebies, kind of fun and sappy.
I recognize them now! She said as she began to dance.
We have them back home in England, Spain and France.
We danced down the sidewalk, onto the round moon.
We boogied so hard, my chest began to quake and swoon.
Heebie-jeebies said “Hey, folks, let’s go to Saturn!”
We shimmy shook; a pretty sweet dancing pattern.
Another dancer asked, “Are we limited to one universe now?”
Heebie-jeebies said “Come. You’ll think this is a wow!”
We jiggled our keisters all the way to another galaxy.
This is how dynamically persuasive Heebie-Jeebies can be!
The hills are getting slippery in Seattle
News blares “Snowmageddon stay inside!”
People lined up galore at their favorite grocery store
Stalking up on snow gear and supplies
Its pandemonium all around
There’s no one to be found
The whole city shuts down
OMG its snow!
And sidewalks filled with slush
To our feet we’re yelling “Mush!”
But it doesn’t help us much
As down we go
The cars with 4 wheel drive
Spinning out in a nosedive
are just trying to survive
this whiteout rodeo
School gets canceled for the day
The parents yell “No Way!”
But the kids all sing “Hooray!”
“We love the snow!”
And they all fill up the streets
Hurling snowballs made of sleet
making snowman by the fleet
getting soaked from head to toe
The hills are getting slippery in Seattle
The cars are playing pinball by the lot
People tripping, slipping, falling on their keisters
From the 2 inches of snow that we got
There abided an old dude in Dunkirk
Who was a deacon in the parish kirk
He cast his lecherous eyes
On ladies' keisters and thighs
He was renowned about town for this quirk
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
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Honorable Mention Deborah Guzzi's "There Once Was A Man From Dunkirk" Contest
January 2011