Like a raging river barreling toward an arid basin,
sediment collects inside a hardening heart.
Weighing heavy, eyelids flutter over drowning maculas;
all that can be seen are murky riptides.
Vision cuts out.
Frantically flaring arms desperately try to skim the surface,
dragged deeper into an unknown chasm.
Sub-zero temperatures shroud panicking flesh.
Prying eyes open, undiluted pitch darkness surrounds.
Gasping for oxygen, lungs inflame.
Excruciating pain catapults through weakening legs.
Safety is nowhere to be found.
Reaching into an intolerably tight pocket,
I feel for your disintegrating picture.
My savior became my impending doom.
Only evanescent memories remain
at the bottom of this watery grave.
Long for the tender tormenting touch of her slips, a vermillion vice of the abyssal depths that lay within the merest brush of her breath, a zephyr's caress that set aflame the parched arid landscapes of my wasteland as sighs hollow echoes whispered promises grew, the inferno of my longing raged, a maelstrom of need that threatened to consume all reason, all restraint in the swirling crimson vortex of those velvets, the boundaries of our recurrent reality grew tenuous, and the tyranny of the flesh held sway as the flexuous uncharted curves of your caress became the acid test of my resolve, dissolving the fragile, varnished veneer of self control, as the confinement of thy desires began to dissolve like gossamer under the scorching waxen sun of ardent, copious passion.
As we entwined, visceral privilege awoke, like hydras flourishing in some foresworn elixir, every casual respite yawned vacant, sucked into the vampiric vortices of intolerably testy discontent.
How provoking, this postponement of unbound reciprocity, tongue just grazing the tips of those plush velvet onyx lips, while catalyzing inveigling suspense
I’ll exit in quiet and angst-hastened steps
Over the sanded dust on that jinxing floor;
And with well-metered gait soon shoot out
Into a sea of blank faces beyond the door.
I own I must pity each unspeaking grain
Of sad earth asleep under my agile feet,
Unaware of those heavy strides of pain,
Resolute where tears and anxiety meet.
I nurse a weird thought that I’ll encounter
An intolerably inquisitive eye as I saunter
Past every low stretch of panicky ground,
Curious whereto my swift legs are bound.
It will be a hastily embarked on walk to far
Climes cast between two impossible walls:
Meanest Fate on dim life's left-handed end,
Luck posted on shinier side of such fracas.
At seven-thirty in the chilly morn’s breeze,
I’ll roam wherever Destiny’s winds please!
pt 2 of quaternion
sweltering
the unpaved streets
intolerably stifling
everyone
seeking cool air
sitting
enjoying the resite
from
the unusual heat
the past
called to mind
the inconvenience
the fear
to venture out
any capricious
movement
stifled
sucking breath
and perspiration
in torrents
tottering about
clothes fluttering
homewards making
under a clear sky
completing responsibilities
in the dry
desolate
landscape
till
it runs with rain
no one lives
in the house
abandoned
to seek the shade
until
the late evening
hours
this season
of long days
humid nights
the advanced in age
apt
to fall asleep
with
reflections
of an idle hour
Imprisoned within an anarchical circle,
In a misery of annoyance and mortification,
The blood in my eyes drops as my pen bleeds,
Almost indulging me in pleasing discursiveness.
Yet, a tangle of beautiful words uglily written.
A veritable spring-cleaning of the soul and environment I yearn,
It seemed intolerably tragic to behold,
Especially this day the decay in civility smells like a rotten egg,
Portraying a torture of the mind and sight in most exquisite kind,
Leaving me so ashamed.
Appalled in speechless disgust,
As if smitten by a sudden spasm,
A new trouble dawned on my thickening mental horizon,
Like a piteous aspect of woe,
But a true similitude of what befalls many men and women in this society.
The tumultuous rush of sensations in me is endless,
Tearing me apart like a twinge of embarrassment,
A vague and wistful melancholy yet to be known by all,
I pray for a total overhauling of religions and politics in the Giant of Africa,
Because I’m so ashamed…
Oh, blatant inequality between
a man and a woman! I could plainly glean
that from the little rendezvous we had
last night. I was intolerably bad
in how I behaved: a tongue-tied man,
unwilling to be content with less than
a pledge of paradise sealed by a kiss,
together uptight and excited with
your reticence, the glitter of your rings,
the strange configuration of the wings
behind your back... The crapulence, the crumbs
in lonely bed I curse when morning comes.
All kind of equities is just a fraud:
I dream about you, you dream me not.
What would you say
is the opposite of music therapy?
Oh, probably some way too loud
dissonant cacophany mess
of intolerably angry and frightening
bombastically hateful noise.
Why do you ask?
Just wondering if it's just me
who sees and hears sounds of war
against peace advocating music therapy
in some synergetic harmonic way.
Who would you think is the least multicultural musical
therapeutic personality
on the US nationalistic scene?
Oh my!
We have so many loud
self-promoting voices
preferably unsung
quite so publicly.
But, one who blare and twitter Trumpets
his anti-therapy voice
more than others
does come to painful mind
and oppressed heart.
Yes,
for me as well.
On the other hand,
a couple of dance and family health therapists
come to mind
on the more positive side
of healthy faith in music healing depth of tone
and hue
and liberating interdependent cry.
I hope we hear
healing antidotes,
less minor keys
more resonant resounds
of deep learning resilience
mid-term sooner
than full-term dissonance.
PALPABLE
imagine
the silence of
a plane
crash
if you were
deaf
imagine how
intolerably
loud a
rape
PALPABLE
absorbing hearts
transcending death
absorbing fears
enduring pain
TANGIBLE
in the newness of
another day
unwoven from
slumber
we glisten clean
start anew
FLAGRANT
we busy ourselves
with menial
chores and cause
then stare at
books noveleyed
CONSPICUOUS
© Kim van Breda—
I have trodden many a creature under foot
A few, unbeknownst
The bug has an intolerably short life span
And shorter yet, under foot
Do I traipse out of spite or cruel wonder?
No, it is just my disregard and shortsightedness
For I have been trampled upon,
From creatures smaller than me
They stir upon me, feelings of a bug
A distant rumbling of thunder
As I count the seconds after seeing the flash
There is a heavy weight upon me
Imagine what is stirred in a bug
My sin has made me
intolerably corrupt
deserving of death.
Jesus, you are God,
but you shared a sinner's fate
to remove its sting.
your resurrection
allows me to live through you,
in your righteousness.
I deserve your scorn,
yet your works, beyond my grasp,
are counted as mine.
How can we be saved?
-Confess our sin and believe,
trust in our savior.
You have drawn me in.
Your breath enters into me
making my heart beat.
You made me your son
with a full inheritance
that I don't deserve.
I want to sensually taste and devour those ruby lips
Mysterious, sultry, desirable and so impenetrable
Will this be my night of sheer ultimate ecstasy
Or a night lost in a cold frigid non giving heart
Will those lips open and rapturously possess all of me
Or shall they remain closed never within my reach
I so long to be lost in your wild fiery passionate kiss
But shall I be fulfilled or only intolerably tolerated
For years I have gazed at those lips in lustful want
Is this my moment of fulfillment or my Achilles heel?
The glacial slope is tall, a vast and perilous globe
It has been a whiteout for nearly three days now
We do all we can with our equipment to maintain our footing
The surface is so uncertain, but the summit is within reach
5 am, Thursday (?), We are awakened by an earthquake
An intolerably loud crack, perhaps a large chunk of opaque ice falling into the sea
Some sort of strange eclipse now, a great silver moon appears overhead
And now---now a wall of molten yellow magma approaches us!
I must stop writing and seek shelter, pray for us small men!
Thy love hath possessed me, and consumed mine every thought.
An inescapable prisoner; handed an irrevocable sentence of love.
Thy memory hath become my ever constant companion, my dearest friend.
My imagination carries mine heart to thee.
I have dreamt thee so close that I could almost hear the beat of thy heart.
How strong the illusion and how intolerably cruel when it vanishes in the night.
I languish in love and longing akin to pain.
I reach for thee in my dreams only for you to disappear on the whim of a touch.
Mine soul is disquieted in me; a raging storm of rapture and despair.
How long, shalt I mourn for thee? How long till I hold more than your memory?
Tis more than I can bear, but alas I will close mine eyes to sleep ,and once again
meet you there.
...winter.
Or its long gray days...no, intolerably long, ugly, gray days that seemingly never end.
And I'm not thinking about the even longer dark days that will inevitably arrive,
like some annoying relative showing up uninvited and unwelcome on your doorstep.
I'm definitely not thinking about the 25' of snow outside my front door
or days so cold that it hurts just to breathe.
Nor am I thinking about how miserable it is just looking out my window
or how brutal it would be to venture beyond the front door.
Meh...who am I kidding?
I can't think of anything else.
Please, someone just shoot me.
Self destruction amidst courage
I wound my ways through breath
finding nothing I hold dear
As if I have everything to fear
I desperately grope the answers
for questions there are none
giving my best for all that is to be done
This vain attempt for identity
controls perpetual pretence
Predictable reputation increases
that which is the sole defense
Omit me from all memory
Wipe me from reality
I have no desire for retaliation
No need for confrontation
I don't want truth from dishonesty
Because false passion there is intolerably
I just don't wish to be so
neglected.
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