Get Your Premium Membership

Deprived of your love

Poet's Notes
(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Sara Jama.


Written on April 27th, 2025 for Anoucheka Gangabissoon's Deprived of your love.... Poetry Contest.
Like a raging river barreling toward an arid basin, sediment collects inside a hardening heart. Weighing heavy, eyelids flutter over drowning maculas; all that can be seen are murky riptides. Vision cuts out. Frantically flaring arms desperately try to skim the surface, dragged deeper into an unknown chasm. Sub-zero temperatures shroud panicking flesh. Prying eyes open, undiluted pitch darkness surrounds. Gasping for oxygen, lungs inflame. Excruciating pain catapults through weakening legs. Safety is nowhere to be found. Reaching into an intolerably tight pocket, I feel for your disintegrating picture. My savior became my impending doom. Only evanescent memories remain at the bottom of this watery grave.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2025




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 6/7/2025 2:56:00 PM
Emotional and powerful! Congratulations! Xo
Login to Reply
Jama Avatar
Sara Jama
Date: 6/14/2025 6:14:00 AM
Thank you so much.
Date: 4/27/2025 10:58:00 AM
If these are the symptoms (an aging person) of a deprived love, then one may take heed of your thoughts and not fall hard at all. Hopeless is love, very sad, Sara Jama. Fave line is "Only evanescent memories remain" It's who we become, i just read the prompt this is a great entry ~wishing you love that lasts
Login to Reply
Jama Avatar
Sara Jama
Date: 4/27/2025 11:58:00 AM
Thank you for the kind words. It's just fiction. I have a very vivid imagination. Fortunately I'm happily married.

Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry