Ikea Poems - Poems about Ikea

An aardvark walked into IKEA Why he did that I have no idea Ignoring their calls To try the meatballs He searched for some ants out the rear He does ‘civilised’ when he’s able So found a flat pack dining table He’d built one - not ever In inclement weather And thus it was rather unstable You don’t see aardvarks wearing wellies While stuffing ants into...

Continue reading...

Do you ever think about film characters in the realms of reality? Think about someone like Grima Wormtounge making Saruman a pot of tea? What about the eye of Sauron trying to find someone to play monopoly or Frodo, giving the ring to Gollum so he can go just home for tea? Ever think about the characters with...

Continue reading...

by Bob Moore ©2018 I don’t like Ikea, the place is like a maze if my wife was not with me, I’d be lost in there for days following the arrows, as you go from place to place people must have hours to spare, as they stroll at a funeral pace. they all walk at 3 abreast, leave no room...

Continue reading...

It came with 10 pages of instructions It came with all its own tools But it had its own agenda To make me out to be a fool I laid the parts out carefully They covered my floor from wall to wall I sat and looked bewildered at the task before me I had no idea where to start at all But then...

Continue reading...

My muse had a good idea, Let's flood the world with Ikea! Dysfunctional kits, there and here, For guns and bombs, No one would care, They would be assembling Ikea, Each kit, four missing bits, Wrong pictures to give them the blip, Globally occupied with dysfunctional Ikea, Now isn't this a good idea, Peace on Earth brought by Ikea?...

Continue reading...

So, this is death by Bunnings, This is so not funny, So much for a store of hardware, Then it's on to death by Ikea, What am I doing here? This is really true fear, Esoteric death by Ikea, I've got absolutely no idea, I've come home with a kit, Comprising a zillion bits, Some of it's missing, it's Giving me the blip, How to assemble...

Continue reading...