Dad Humor Poems

If only you knew the struggles I have had,
many were very sad.
My kind and loving dad,
knew I was never bad.
I should have kept a notepad,
about...

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This happened last Fall, during Thanksgiving break.

Lisa and I were at the MET (The Metropolitan Museum of Art), with her family, at an exhibit of...

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An HP Production

[Quiet on the set--roll'em]

KEY: Cast: P)Pip, B)Bob, R)Reinier, A/M)Anna/Madam

P)Evil, not rats, live on, start squeaking,
B)Noose fill lips, spill life soon, start swinging,
R)Sorry, something...

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Tim was the new judge in Deadwood Flat
Not really qualified, just a rancher at that
He first case was of the outlaw, Horace Slade
Caught red handed...

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In a house, half-mad, with mother and dad,
And a labyrinth he couldn’t escape -  
He trudged the maze, with a string ball, so sad.
The...

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Our friend Mr. Ed was a talking horse.
We remember him with tears of remorse, 
But, children, please try not to be so sad.  ...

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Do you know what it feels like when your dad leaves to go get the milk and comes back with a gun and some vengeance?
No?...

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The designer loved watermelon more than the homeowner ever had.
I am not going to pay for it the homeowner told her builder dad.
But the designer...

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"Tom, Tom the piper's son
Stole a pig and away he run.
The pig was eat,
And Tom was beat,
And Tom went crying down the street."

Now, this rhyme,
For...

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“22½ euros for a Martini,” Peter remarked, when he first scanned the menu.
“It’s not like we aren’t going to get them,” I said, “we’re not...

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.

                  There'z 
     ...

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They carried on in secret,
pretending not to care,
then organised the wedding,
not one of the family were there,
mum cried in the kitchen,
the news was hard to...

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As a kid I had three bunnies,
they were free I paid no moneys.
It was Easter time,
I had won them and they were all mine.
I had...

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Aqua blue sled
Thumpity thump thump thump
Children laugh with glee

Thank heavens for air conditioning 
Bumpity bump bump bump
Wheeeee!

Mom mirrors masterpiece The Scream
Declares, “This shall not be...

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My older bro watered half of the garden, in the back and front,
cause the weatherman said there'll be 50% chance of rain today.

Our Monopoly gameboard...

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