Funny House Poems | Examples
These Funny House poems are examples of House poems about Funny. These are the best examples of House Funny poems written by international poets.
I'm searching for an electric kettle.
But all I can find to plug in
In my overnight cottage lodgings
Is a bedside lamp.
And while its 40 watts emits a ration of heat.
It would never in a month of dreary Sundays.
Boil water to make a Cappucciono
Think I'll just settle for a Stella instead.
Contest: Cartoon Character Clerihew
Judged: 8/17/2025 6:29:00 AM
Sponsored by: Tania Kitchin
Placement: First
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Walt Disney's Mickey Mouse
Still struts through each media house,
With hose stretched tighter than his grin,
And yellow shoes too big for his thin shin.
Carton Character Clerihew
12.8.25
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse
wanted to buy a fancy estate house
went scurrying to a corporation bank
found it full of greedy glitzy hanks !
I'm retired and live in a small, mobile home,
about 5600 miles from the outskirts of Rome,
about 7200 miles from the waters of the Ganges,
and about 5100 miles from Machu Picchu, in the peaks of the Andes.
It's a nice, cozy little home,
where every day, I try to write at least one new spanking poem -- oops!
one spanking new poem.
Let assume the stars
galaxying and the sun
is for instance
shine to earth
and stay for a while and bounce?,
a star for a planet
somehow is a sun
like the sun that is going through?
or for each monster, a friend, a villanelle
like the sun to the earth or north
or like Jupiter or Mercury or Mars?.
Let assume something is the world
and glass
like funny yet fret.
Two dazzling dainty darlings,
Delightful flowers on a tree,
Fancy pretence funny role-play,
Sing alluring songs, no worry!
Favourite choice playing house,
Invite friends to flavoured tea,
Decorative cups and pots as well,
Welcoming hosts, amazing to see!
Decked gracefully, embellished hair,
Blushing cheeks, gorgeous smile,
Angelic beauty of innocence,
Oh my, what a captivating style!
Picture 2
They gathered outside- I'm alone,
and at my back window, I groan!
I think- what is this
my hubby will miss?
Then, quickly I reach for my phone!
"We're being invaded, my dear!
Please quickly come home, for I fear
these huge long-necked beasts
are looking for feasts!
Whatever they are- is unclear!”
“I counted at least twenty-one
now looking for food where there's none!
It seemed a bad sign
when their eyes met mine!
The door's locked- so I need not run!"
Some photos I send him to please;
He views them, then texts me with ease-
"Please, honey calm down!
No need for a frown!
Your so-called wild beasts are Turkeys!”
Confusing, as I just recalled
my Thanksgiving Turkeys were bald;
came right from the store
piled up with lots more!
Not “beasts”- but OUR “feasts” - I'm appalled!
A door we meet and expect curtain
“Door, where the Heavens is your Captain?”
Doors should not corners be cutting,
Out the secrets in a room jutting…
When your door parades not a curtain
The once hidden in your room certain:
A door that is at all times The Jammed
A door at all times needlessly slammed…
And I say: The very idea dammed:
Who of The Sane has into rooms rammed?
Precious to us men the outside air
In the court sealing it off not fair
Behind a curtain one counts money
And one or two things do plain funny.
Curtain: The still vital to Drama
Final curtain ends actor’s grammar.
Try to picture one who repents.
It's like one who oneself repaints
Ten liters of paint is lot of money
Try to price it: It's not funny.
While good and bad paint cost a lot
What God just wants is "What we've got."
For those who finally repent
Your big house lost to a tent;
You return all the money lent:
Not just like that, voice of a gent,
For each new sin your fine robes rent,
Your guilty head readily bent.
Welcome to The S Laughter house
And lots of fun and games
Where everyone participates
To show that they are game
We’re well known as the funny place
Where beef, I mean cows go
Just get in line behind a friend
And please enjoy the show
We’ll unload your bags right away
So you can watch an act
And at the end when all’s wrapped up
You will be fully packed
See we’re so busy every day
It seems like a stampede
Of happy patrons, we will slay
Until becoming feed
What I really meant by that is
Until becoming freed
That’s the kind of laughs we get at
S Laughter House indeed
We also serve food all day long
Outside on the paddock
Which is beyond that dusty yard
Like that for prime livestock
We know our guests have a good time
Since they stay forever
Due to the fact we’re such cut ups
Which is our endeavor
Tell your family and your friends
Plus those that oink and bleat
For we’ll find plenty of room for
All those we like to meat
Last night my friend visited a haunted house
Not brave enough to join him, I felt like a louse,
I stayed home and watched a funny comedy
While fleeing a goblin, he sprained his knee.
I ate snacks, drank sodas, and gained a pound
He said zombies and ghosts were all around,
He made his way through man-eating plants
Had I been there, I would have sh*t my pants!
I told him I would’ve died from a heart attack,
He tried to take pictures, but it was pitch black,
I did not care to see puddles of oozing slime
I told him I’d look at his pictures another time.
Written October 16, 2022
Will you ever come back to me?
Will your walls protect me henceforth?
Can I even dream of you in the wakeful hours of night?
Can I even store your image in my tearful eyes?
Are you just bricks and concrete?
Are you not love?
Are you just a house for sale?
Are you not love?
Are you just a big black gate?
Are you not love?
Are you just a market material?
Are you not love?
Who if not me, can feel peace under your roof?
Who if not me, can love the cracks on your terrace walls?
Who if not me, can pamper you with soil and water?
Who if not me, can adorn you with plants and bird houses?
When you fall into someone's hand,
Who will see the midnight stars along with you?
Who will play hide and seek behind your pillars?
Who will trust and share all their secrets with you?
Who will enhance your look with lights and garlands on festivals?
You know the answer is "No one"
But you didn't speak a word
when they came to snatch you from me
But why?
I wish you had a voice.
Funny though,
What could I do having a voice!!
I let you go
I lost you.
I lost me.
Harmless guest
Underneath Zoom chair
Some small creature fleeing in confusion
Ah ha, a brown lizard, harmless four-legged guest
Hiding and scared, aren’t you?
So am I
Please do not visit me in bed tonight
Mi-casa-su-casa
prey on insects and spiders all you want
and Thank you
for house cleaning service
Mi-casa-su-casa
Enjoy this big playground
hanging out in small covered spaces
under any couches, chairs, desks, bookshelves, or tables in the house
Closets, vents, baseboards, cushions, and potted plants
unlimited places to hide
One early morning
A two-legged guest picks up his underpants
Surprise!
A four-legged guest skydive dropping onto the ground
fleeing in amusement
bats in the attic
spiders on the floor
nobody stops to see me no more
bugs in the kitchen
termites in the wall
wont be long till the old house fall
radon no worry
pollution no care
wind blows through cleans out the air
possum on the ground
raccoon in the tree
their all in the house sleeping with me
gas line broke
it won't be long
till the end of the house end of the song
There's more to keeping house,
Than washing dishes, sweeping floors.
You must wipe away the dirt,
From window sills and doors.
Picking up and straightening,
For certain is a must,
But if you want it to be clean,
It's wash and scrub and dust.
Because you ran the vacuum,
You think you've done a chore,
But did you wash the window panes?
Did you mop the floor?
The cupboard doors need wiping down,
Else they get greasy, tacky.
The hood above the stove as well,
The counter tops are nasty.
Then there's dusting to be done,
And don't forget the bathroom.
Tub and toilet, bathroom sink,
Deodorize the room.
Now if you think your work is done,
The bedrooms need a cleaning,
So everything smells fresh and clean,
As you lay a-dreaming.
Tomorrow is another day,
Just like the one before.
You did all this just yesterday,
But it must have grown some more.