Jesus Hilarious Poems

I have invented a nonce nonsense form: the "dabble dactyl." A dabble dactyl starts out like a double dactyl, but forgets the rules and changes...

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Xmas is here tonight
At midnight, what a night!
Let's write a bad poem about Christmas
Before the Midnight Mass
As we offer our best wishes to all on...

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Right, I want you to put all your negative thoughts into a bottle.
What sort of bottle.
Doesn’t matter what sort.
Vodka bottle do.
Jesus, yes.
Okay, I've run out...

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J  Jesus is good All the time!
O Over and over. Until life is over
K Kind jokes make Jesus smile, too
E Ever think of that?...

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I
I give thanks to The LORD six days a week. I forget which days I forget!

II
Little Jack Horner refused to sit in the corner: I...

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The Platypus: Double Limerick
by Michael R. Burch 

The platypus, myopic,
is ungainly, not erotic.
His feet for bed
are over-webbed,
and what of his proboscis?

The platypus, though, is eager
although...

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Face crack
Hands keep stave
And image turn horror
 Now separated from earth
Weeping around
Far away you are carried
By the ungrateful
And deceitful death
No breath, no voice nor feeling
In...

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In all my days here upon earth
from day one as I remember
I've stammered pre-school and beyond
and even joined its association member

But through all my time...

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Heading into Bethlehem ...
Three Wise Men, 
In search of a stable.

Heading out of Bethlehem ...
Three Wise Turkeys,
While they were - still able....

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Christmas came to the town of Asheville
Each one asked St. Nick for a treadmill
Instead, he gave them bikes
Treating them all like tikes
Then he told them...

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Looking back, one thing comes clean-glass clear
you were always there for me subduing every fear.

I tried to do my duty, be a husband strong and...

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Doggerel I or Nonsense Verse

A$$tronomical
by Michael R. Burch

Einstein, the frizzy-haired,
proved E equals MC squared.
Thus, all mass decreases
as activity ceases?
Not my mass, my a$$ declared!



Bible Libel
by...

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Spartan

Some men are born to play, 
and some… are not.
To them life is without common joy,
at least the kind others partake. 
But it is instead...

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Virtue is to have excellent morality;
An admirable quality or property.

Holy Angels are virtues of order.
Like, Samson, a man of excellent valor.

Virtue is to clothe oneself...

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