Animal Hilarious Poems

James and Peter
Found a messed up cat litter
Close by at Peter's

A cat is amiss
The litter smells of cat's piss
The missus remiss

The miss is too slow
To...

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Like, Yogi and Boo-Boo out on the trail. 
With heads in the clouds it’s easy to smell 
food; even that on the ground. 
Three porridges...

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I'm baked
I'm baked
One toke is all it taked....

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Chickens clucking, pecking paths in the dust
Cow bawling for the calf who loves her bust
Turkeys gobbling, heads nodding 
Cats purring, dogs applauding
Farmers heeding, flapping hands...

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A Sly Skunk’s Non’scents’ 

If you remember correctly, one night, I came upon Steve.
‘Twas a normal day that led to such a befuddling eve.
For, Steve...

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My husband is torn.
He wants a clean house.
But he loves our big puppy.
The chewingest dog in the whole dang town.

He says I guess I should...

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In the early dawn, the loud barking of my dog
Woke me up;
I arose and went to the door leading out onto
The veranda;
I adjusted the blinds...

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We came from

modernity for

teach beings

underdeveloped,

we found that

totally unhappy

are these retards

aliens

race scum

human... these

that segregated in

colonies where everything

happens equal to

 the ancient days...

live impure,

dirty,

accumulating garbage...

live persecuted

by bacteria,

infected...

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There once was a man named Chuck
Who waddled just like a duck

When they asked, “are you fine”?
He replied, “It’s the wine”

That made him look very...

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Grape Dog
‘Like a grape?’
There was a dog that ate grapes
The dog was happy eating them
For they tasted so sweet
Especially the black ones
So wonderfully yummy

They were...

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Looking back, one thing comes clean-glass clear
you were always there for me subduing every fear.

I tried to do my duty, be a husband strong and...

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NOTE: This limerick posted 10/31/2020 in 
Alexis Y.’s PEE YEW Collaboration
Take a look at the collaboration on her page! It's hilarious!

I once was peed on...

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Let me put your parenting skills
Under the microscope, my thrills!  

You share your food with the young
You eat, regurgitate for the fledging

What childcare, what...

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Drink to the rain falling down
Drink to the tears of a clown
Drink to get drunk
Drunk as a skunk
Drinks on the skunk, he's buyin' a round!

Has...

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IT’S A MAD WORLD In a Lancashire Accent.

I went to the Confectioners today, there was a long queue outside, a metre apart, and it had...

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