Grans Poems


Premium MemberGrandma Taught Me About Words


Grandma taught me about the importance of words
she was a wonderful storyteller
she loved telling a tale or two and loved her birds
so now, I am a poet taleteller
also gran taught me how to write my words down

When still a child she told me to just write
and then with steaming tea we would have a sit-down
I wrote of life's dagger and my sad plight
when gran died I wrote a three page tribute blessing
I wrote of what she meant to us, to me
as I penned my words I felt grans hand caressing
at the church a soft breeze made my notes flee
I stood still unsure and then her voice said just talk
so I did, it seems that I did not need the paper notes
I spoke my words as white pages drifted like a bird flock

Gliding like gauzy sheer veils around the church
and in that moment I knew the power of words
words sad that they could bring people to tears
beautiful words that can describe nature and birds
as we buried gran I thanked her for it all in a silent prayer
Categories: grans, words,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberIce Cream Gran 4 - Grans Day Off

Gran had had a busy night
And so I manned the van
I said if you want ice cream, Kids
This evening, I’m your man

All the children shouted out
It’s Gran we want to see
Because there’s not much cash about
She gives us ice creams free

I said that's just the kind of thing 
That Ice Cream Gran would do
So if she gives out free ice cream
I’ll do the same thing too

Those kids sure had an appetite
And many asked for two
A couple ordered three or four
And soon my stock was through

I drove the van around to Gran’s
Its chimes I couldn’t ring
For when she let me take the van
She said, ‘DON’T TOUCH A THING.’

I told her that the kids were grateful
For her charity
But when I told her what I meant
She simply glared at me 

And when she spoke she said to me
You know of you I’m fond
But those kids saw you coming
You were well and truly conned

In future I will serve the kids
And combat villains too
And telling of my exploits?
Well, I’ll leave THAT to you.
Categories: grans, grandmother, hero,
Form: Rhyme


Heavens Are a Blaze

GODS WITHDRAW FROM OUR WORLD
OF TAINTED VISION WINGS FROM MACHINES FAN FIRES MARCH DEAD SOLDERS FROM WARS LONG
PAST AND FUTURES WAITING TO BE BORN
METALLIC WINGS OF FALLEN ANGELS EXPAND FORTH TO HAIL CRYPTIC WORDS FROM EMPIRES OF FORGOTTEN WORLDS DEITIES AND DEMONS IGNITE ENGINES OF DOOM AN CONSPIRE HEAVENS TO BURN WITH WAR LOCKED IN A STRUGGLE FOR THE THRONE OF THE GRAND ARCHITECT A CREATOR OF ALL UTOPIA’S A FIRE WITH ITS SUMMONS NEWLY FOUND FURY AND ANCIENT ENEMIES ARE FOUND FORGED IN THE DIVINE PLANS OF DIVINITIES MIND LIVES FALL LIKE GRANS OF SAND WINGS OF MACHINES FAN DEMON'S PASSION AS LEGIONS OF MAN DIE IN MASSES AS WE COME TO PASS WROUGHT BY ARMORED SAINTS IN THIS ILL BEGOTTEN DAYS AS  HEAVENS ARE A BLAZE LUCIFER OPENS ITS EYES AND SPREADS IT MECHANICAL WINGS UNDER IS VISION LANDSCAPES DENOTE AND RADIATES HEAVENS BURN AT WAR WITH THE HOLY HOST AS A LIGHTBRINGER BOSTS AS HEAVENS ARE A BLAZE!
Categories: grans, adventure, allegory, allusion, analogy,
Form: Free verse

Premium MemberBetter Luck Next Time

Sylvester was about to abduct Tweety
But Gran pinched his cheeks and called him sweety.
She put him on her lap, he reluctantly purred
While he kept his beady eyes on that yellow bird.
He leapt from her lap as she started to snooze.
"Now's my moment! How could I lose?"
But he disrupted Grans sleep when his face hit the mat.
Tweety exclaimed, "I saw a naughty cat!"


Written 31st August 2021
Categories: grans, funny,
Form: Couplet

Premium MemberWuji :: Quietude

Through the open gate
I see them go by
young girls to old grans
yin to balance yang

yet to be
	encompased
		by wuji

Written: November 2019
Categories: grans, symbolism, universe,
Form: Free verse


Sleepwalker On the Beach

Sleep walker on the beach.

Its happened again on holiday at Clacton-on-Sea, with my family. Somehow I managed to sleepwalk from my bunkbed that I was sharing with my brother and find myself in a strangers bedroom, in the hotel.

I was walking along the beach with my kid brother looking for shells, when I saw a razor bill, I bent down to pick it up, and that's the last thing I remember.

I feel  a hand on my shoulder shaking me, and a voice saying " wake-up wake-up". I'm looking into a face like my grans although its not her. She's wearing a bright pink dressing gown, has rollers in her hair, and a hair net. "who are you young lad ?" She smiles a toothless smile.

I rub my tired eyes and try to focus on her wrinkled face, "I'm Peter, I have been dreaming". I think to myself oh no, its happened again I have been sleepwalking, I see an old man asleep in the double bed, I must have tried to get into bed with them, joke! 


I tell her my dream, she smiles gently and says" lets go and find your family".
Oh no my lot are going to rib me something awful over this.
Categories: grans, vacation,
Form: Free verse

Nhs Birthday

Flashing lights, and men in green.
Rescue a man from a crash scene.
Angels greet him at the hospital doors
he must look like a victim of some great war.
X rays taken wounds are dressed
All his ailments are put to rest
No insurance premiums or bills to pay
The good old nhs as saved the day
Mums in labour, grans in wards
Paupers or members of the house of lords
Matters not your place of birth
Your reputation or monetary worth
The nhs is for us all 
So, its great big Happy birthday 
From us all.
Categories: grans, birthday,
Form: Free verse

H,O,H

Hard of Hearing.

I went to visit Gran
to brighten up her day.
But that crazy batty women
never hears a word I say.

She moans and groans of aches and pains
and how her bunions hurt, then she'll ask,
"Who is it? Is that you my darling Bert?"
"No, I'll say, it's Sunny, Grandson number two.
I thought I'd pay a visit and spend the day with you.

I've put the kettle on Gran, I'll make a pot of tea."
Then she shouts.
"There are Hob-nobs in the cake tin enough for you and me.
Fetch them in please Keith put them on the floral tray.
Now where's my bloody teeth, I had them earlier today."

"It's Sunny Gran, I tell her. I'm not Keith and I'm not Bert
but there's your bloody teeth Gran in the pocket of you skirt."
I don't mind Grans muddled mind the fact she forgets my name
she can call me what she likes I love her just the same.

Now my Gran is hard of hearing
and batty half the time.
But you know I wouldn't swap her
cause Gran is Gran.
She's the best because she's mine.
Categories: grans, funny love, grandmother,
Form: Rhyme

The Hardest Door To Open

The hardest door to open

The hardest door to open is the door outside my gym
I think you know the one I mean, the door that lets you in
I meant to go there many times and start my life anew
But breaking down that barrier is very hard to do

Well finally I got there and I opened up that door
And I asked if they could help me lose a stone or two or more
And they made it clear that losing weight and toning up is fine
But you have to do it slowly losing one pound at a time

I was glad I went along that day to Healthy Lady Gym
The members are all sizes down from extra large to thin
Plus members of all ages there with daughters mums and grans
All ages shapes and sizes is the spectrum that they span

They greeted me with open arms and made me feel at home
And kept me focused pound by pound to help me lose a stone
Plus losing several inches off my arms and hips and thighs
Has made me change my wardrobe as I’m now a smaller size

So thanks to all my brand new friends the members and the staff
Who pick me up and cheer me on with banter and a laugh
I’m slimmer and more confident and have a permanent grin
Cos the easiest door to open now is the one outside my gym
Categories: grans, change, community, depression, health,
Form: Limerick

Memories of the Travellers

The gypsies’ caravans,
Not welcome in our town,
Had parked and settled down,
Appeared to have no plans,
Were shouted at by grans,
Disliked for their renown.

They called them tramps and thieves,
Not having an address,
And said they’d leave a mess;
I thought they’d read tea leaves,
Wear clothes with fancy sleeves -
Was wrong I must confess.

They left the site a dump;
And people got the hump.

22 April, for Lisa’s Gypsies, tramps and thieves contest
Using the HexSonnetta, a form created by Andrea
Categories: grans, people,
Form: Rhyme

The Great Aussie Picnic

The Mozzies are biting, we forgot the Aeroguard
The ants, all the bickies are about to bombard
The twins are fightin’ and actin’ real mean
This family picnic, it’s a real bloody scene
The baby’s cryin’ ‘cause he bashed both ‘is knees
The flies in the marg, and the dogs got the cheese
Grans gone walkabout lookin’ for the lav
Cripes, there’s a Kookaburra, poopin’ on the pav!
Young Curly’s so famished, he’s eatin’ mud pies
And bluey’s being chased by some peckin’ magpies
Dav’s bashin’ his missus and actin’ like a lout
She forgot the plonk and the beers run out
Old gramps at the barbie burnin’ the snags
Dad’s really cussin’ ‘cause Mum’s snitched his fags
Now the tuckers ready as the rain in buckets pours
Streuth! Another get together in the great outdoors!
Categories: grans, funny,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberBowling Prowess

B_ Boy grans too old to bowl gone is prowess
O_ Old grandma can't compete for agedness
W_ Wow! look at her go great accomplishment
L_  Look! great her walk is an advancement
I_  Interesting woman way past her prime
N_ Now she would flip the hour glass of time
G_ Grans has prowess for her aged perfect score

Just a wild story for fun
Couplets sort of....
Categories: grans, funny, old, old,
Form: Couplet
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