God Awful Poems

Oh good - Aubade

I wake again, the sky still ash
Mostly soft, not quite the weight of lead
seen at five a.m; that god awful flash
of knowing there is nothing when dead

Here inside a room, trying to recall
if sleep or darkness shapes it all
Whiskey breath eats away my face
Oh good! Aubade… finally shows a trace

The afterlife sleeps in, it always does 
Woken up in the usual way
Another drink, a top-up buzz
Lifts my spirits, just above dismay

I fumble around with unopened post
Get dressed, eat flakes, feeling like toast
Hope and despair make a meagre pact:
That life bears fruit, and breakfast lacked

I breathe, then sniff, try steady a hand
light a smoke, or slap on a patch
Gesture defiance, attempt to stand
brave it out past the hallway latch

Go search, or not, for what comes after
opt in, opt out, call on the pastor
Who's high as a kite on altar wine,
“There's nothing” he sobs, “or do you bring a sign?”
His eyes light up, as I offer him a line
And you know! that day turned out just fine.

mind

his mind works strange,
not how its intended to work
his handwriting changes,
leaving him in a state of daze,
and often,
he is vacant in his own body
a small, useless shell
surrendering to the god-awful feeling of not being able to do anything,
inside of that shell,
lies a scared, little boy,
who likes to detach
but only when it hurts too bad
his mind is strange

Path of the brokenhearted at Christmas

(A lone voice whispers)

I can still remember
The sad day she said

She didn’t love me anymore

As she threw away my wedding ring in the pond and walked

Right outa our door
That was ten years ago or more

At Christmas 
In 2000 and four

I still see her on the streets
But no matter how fast my heart beats

I can still see and feel that lonely dark place

Where broken souls fly
When their hearts are truly broken

And inside
They always quietly cry

She’s asked me many times to take her back

She’ll love me more this time
This time it will be different

But all I see when I look her over

Is Jack

Running his hands through her hair and kissing
Her soft red lips

I maybe broken
Cut deep with a sharp blade forever
But will I go back to her

Never

I’ll just keep walking the path
The brokenhearted take

And maybe I’ll find someone truly special this year 
To love all of me and help

To take away this god awful ache

 (C)
Copyright John Duffy 



Foundation of the piece.

Christmas is not all joyful salutations for everyone.

Vanishing point

Feeling a little cross
I gave out to god
For piling different shapes 
upon my hod
To think, we never had 
any future plan 
So made one up
with the home insurance man 

Anyway, I'm covered 
for a sudden leak
But excess is high
and outlook pretty bleak 
With water damage 
undermining my eyes
Canopies atop
fail to keep me baptised 

In a world slowly spinning
time arcs from view
I lose my line of sight
as payment's accrue
My policy reneges
states I'm in arrears 
Offers me (a one off fix) 
then disappears 

Like most chancers in life
I accept the lump
My hod full of shapes
forming a concave hump
Light recedes slower 
through an inverted mind
Come take a look
I'm not the one praying blind 

Still, I could sit with Jesus 
and chat all day 
Til our questions 
compel each other away 
Faster than light speed
(dark energy) recedes
To voids so distant
god awful truth precedes

Vanishing points converge
as minds can't make sense 
Mine's light years away
nailed to a cosmic fence 
Insurance man tries 
to sell me empty space 
He's the devil
I bought it all just in case!

Where have you taken my husband

Where is my husband 
please tell me where 
he is where have you 
taken him I want to know 
everything about his 
last laugh his last breath 
is he still with us I begged 
just let me take care of 
you now there’s medical 
supplies stack bedding 
diapers oh why can’t I 
care for him you’ve 
moved him in such a 
fragile state where is he 
you tell me where he is 
let me take care of him 
it is his final hour for Christ 
sake how dare you just sit 
there wearing that smirk 
on your face he doesn’t 
have to go it alone is that 
really what you want for him 
knowing full well I’m here 
sent only by god open your 
heart allow him to get the 
care he needs sit here my 
dear he is no more you’re 
having a god awful dream 
that’s all the love of your 
life has now left this world 
rejoice with tears streaming 
down my cheeks I collapse 
oh father where have you 
taken him he replied oh my 
dear child such a great love 
here to behold my dearest 
beloved in your grief for you 
are not alone the Holy Spirit 
has taken him Home

Ghost Stories: COMPLETED

[Fiction Out West]


A mining town, among others, had been shut down the longest. Long before the mines closed, and all the towns followed. As the story goes; one night, a 10-year-old boy walks into a bar looking for his barmaid mom, and amid some bruhaha, he's accidentally shot dead. Enraged and unwilling to settle down, she's also shot dead by the same gunman--but her's was an act of murder. In his dark attire, he rides off and is never seen again. An odd thing occurred for ten years, there were gunfights, but no deaths since the boy and mom, and as they went on their way never to be seen again, plenty wondered but brushed it off as even-steven since there was peace after every incident--until they learned that they were 'god-awful' wrong. 



*The opener of My Ghost Stories in my Short Stories, "Originally TITLED: Surreality"

Brother Monster

(Trigger SA)

To think we are related feels like a crime,
Knowing all those god awful things but doing no time,
Makes me feel sick to my stomach,
That you belly ache laugh free of your sentence,
Relatively speaking you are my brother,
But in my eyes, 
Your truly nothing but a monster,
To you it's not age, or gender, as long as it fits your needs,
And has no control just fear and recoil under the covers,
Lawfully, Relatively you are my brother,
But every time I see you apart of me wants to put a bullet between your eyes,
You can't hurt anyone if your dead,
You can't control anyone if there's a bullet in your head,
To our mother,
You are my brother,
But to me I wish you were never born,
Because then,
I wouldn't have a brother Monster lurking in others beds,
And I wouldn't feel this sickness we call dread,
Your nothing but a monster,
 to me your no brother,
Just souless creature lurking under covers.

God Awful Logic

does the process of elimination ~ make much sense by inclusion 

or is mans reasoning clearly rearranged ~ by woman’s exclusion 

By
David Kavanagh 

hms

0087----Let Me Love You

A philly steak style ribeye
shved thin. stir fried with onion 
,garlic, and mushrooms.
Mixed with a mixture of
cream cheese, pareseam cheese
and smoked swiss.
Served on a spinach and swiss tart
with a raspberry and balsamic vinegar
salad. They smiled and
grinned.
I heard them humming
the song of deliciousness while
they dined. Highly ttractive
and so fine, she
smiled and grinned
until I built my nerves up
to ask for her name and number.
I rode my horse over to the stables
and left my truck at the Straphouse.
Since I was a member of the staff
I had certain tasks to complete 
before I could take a break.
I planned to spend my break with her
until this God Awful cloud came over head.
Thats when everything changed.
 I took her by the hand and we
looked for a radio to find
 out current conditions.
We asked Cysa the waiter
what was going on
he said a tornado watch
 had been placed
on the area. If one were to arrive 
we were advised to
go to the wine celler. So we
 just went there
and had our lunch. We had
Barbaqued Porkbelly
with Asain  Roasted plums
in a wine sauce. With fried rice
and a Casear salad.
it was so delicous.

A Creek Christmas Carol

[Away In A Manger - revisited]

Where Dave is the ranger
And Tom is the mayor
The saloon is open
And Milt gambles there

On high in the night sky
A star ’bove the church
The beacon of Soup Creek
To aid in the search

An old passing stranger
Had let it be heard
That a babe would be found
And his name was the word

Now, Mark was the sheriff
He closed the saloon
And Jenna, quite frankly
Wasn’t over the moon

She said find that baby
And find it real soon
My bar can’t be closed 
While this night has a moon

In the church they found him
And o what a fright
That poor baby’s young face
Was smeared with Marmite

But Tom said Stand clear men
That God-awful pong
We thought was yeast extract…
It seems we were wrong

Sudden Loss

10 years ago 
Tragedy came into play,
Unfortunately for our family 
You could no longer stay.

For you were truly special 
and must have been needed above,
To always watch over
the ones that you love. 

“He only takes the best” 
people would often say
Well he took the most beautiful
On that god awful day. 

Why he chose you then
I will never fully know, 
You had so much life in you
You just weren’t ready to go. 

But I have to believe 
That there was a reason why
You were taken so suddenly
Without the chance to say goodbye. 

As the wind whispers 
My name I hear you say
And when I feel upset
My tears you wipe away. 

I will never know the reason
Our lives had to change that day
All I truly know is
you’re never far away. 

For when I speak you listen
As we aren’t actually apart
Because my beautiful cousin
You will always be in my heart

Snapshot of My Life

I think my best years are clearly already behind me
That everyone persists in reminding me, it is glee.

I don’t think my traumatic childhood years were elective
That’s certainly true from my adulthood perspective.

I won't consider sharing those god-awful teenage years
They were replete with so much trauma, agony, and tears.

I remember best my first year in college, Berea
They, most of my buddies, went to Korea!

I loved being stationed in our newest state, Hawaii
The U.S.A.F. took me; I soon became a beach flea.

I returned to wild and wonderful West Virginia
The rest of my story there, some day, I shall continue.

I think life began when I met sweet Deborah, my wife,
That should suffice, I think, for a quickie look at my life! 

THIRD PLACE WINNER
Written August 15, 2022
submitted to "Dot Your i's and Cross your t's" poetry contest
sponsored by Hilo Poet
[14 lines of 14 syllables per line
checked with PS Syllable Counter]

Beachcomber Aroma

We live by the sea, just we two, you and me
It offers us all that we need
From our heads to our toes, you make all of our clothes
From sea grass and sometimes sea weed

If our ocean provides it, you will utilise it
I so like the way that you think
Our clothes made from stuff that you found on the beach
But your feet, well they surely do stink

Those earrings you made from a couple of cockles
That pendant you made from a shell
Your bikini top is a strap and two scallops
But your feet, they surely do smell

I keep us well fed from the sea and sea bed
While you keep us suited and booted
You’re my Wonder Woman it has to be said
But your feet, well they really are putrid

We sit on the shore and we like nothing more
Than watching the waders and dippers
But we can’t stay long, there’s a God-awful pong
For your slippers are made out of kippers

[For the uninitiated, kippers are butterflied, smoked herring.]

Fun

outskirt's landscape's
rude God awful
it's outlandish
in the garden
nonchalant
kinda crude 
did it go smooth
dry zone
crackle main central
in the meadow?

To a Former Friend

I am sorry I can no longer respect your hue
Since you have succumbed to Q-Anon
Parroting most stupid conspiracy theories
Since the Trump train you jumped on
And adopted a jaundiced view of our history
Believing The Donald's outrageous lies
Crediting to him outlandish deeds
And planting false social media seeds.

I wonder what is happening in your brain
Has it become hardened against the truth
Are you with insurrectionists who rioted
Since jumping on the crazy Trump train?
I wish there was no red line between us
For I remember those wonderful days
When we used to laugh over a few drinks
Alas, no more since you changed your views.

Perhaps, in coming days it will be different
And we can become friends once more
Our country, our culture, our society
Will be a better place, that's for sure,
In the meantime I'll remember you kindly
And wish for you the very best
But I cannot respect the road you've taken
That has gotten us into this god-awful mess.

written September 6, 2021

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