The germs and the bugs and the viruses
Each of them fancied their chances
The microbes and pathogens all had a go
At giving me evil-eye glances
My bones they were aching, my temperature baking
And then there were chills that would see me a shaking
I thought I might rattle with pills I was taking
And if I dared speak then my larynx was quaking
But you know and I know that ‘man flu’ is worse
Than anything ladies might lay down in verse
I knew this was true as I took to my bed
While my wife with her ‘girl flu’ was clearing the shed
Her version of flu didn’t cause her to moan
When cleaning the kitchen, not one stifled groan
And even the vacuum, when she cleaned the floors
Did not make her wince, so she finished her chores
But I am a man and a fighter at heart
Against all bugs I’ll be the winner
I said to my wife you should have a lie down…
As soon as you’ve finished the dinner.
Well…
I’m better but hungry, I’m feeling half starved
In fact I could eat a large horse
I got bugs that gave me an appetite halved
But now they’ve got me a divorce
With Jeff Cliff I've not been on good terms
For he's told Health Workers I breed germs,
Inviting them over for the worms
One sees and minutes on end just squirms:
"You don't mind the stylish hair Rose perms
All her pigs dirty, also their sperms".
It's animosity towards Rose
For being now to J. Timothy close.
Heavy truck Jeff could run over me
And a crushed me toss into a seas,
My struggles with bad sharks for Jeff's glee;
Only then would his chained mind be free.
The toilet cleaner
A tough stains remover
A germs killer
An odour refreshener
A smart cleaner
Even the dirtiest place
Will shine again
But never for the curses from our mouths
But never for the devils in our hearts
But never for the guilty stains in our histories
And so urgently to be found
The super cleaner
And so urgently wanted
The super cleaner
The smell of freshness,
Bright, shining with cleanliness,
Germs don't stand a chance,
Constantly cleaning and washing,
Having a routine that you go through,
1-2-3 shutting the door,
Unable to leave till it's done,
Outside germs are all around,
Nothing is clean outside your four walls,
Your starting to panic,
You must get home,
Running...heart beating,
Opening your door 1-2-3 safe,
You suffer with OCD,
Some days are better than others,
Today is not a good day
Grotesque green grandpa and grandma goblins gratifying greasy gravies.
Gregariously greeting grateful guests who are going goat-herding in Greenland.
Glimpsing grievous grandchild who gobbles greasy gravies greedily,
Grandma and Grandpa gives Gabe, their gallivanting grandson a glimpse of
Grotesque germs giggling and gallivanting in grease. Gabe is good-natured
as he gobbles, and gasps at the germy gunky gravy.
Love and germs surround us,
United by the fact
That both remain invisible
Yet cause us to react.
We must accept their presence
And protect ourselves, although
They may hover unexpectedly
In ways we do not know.
We cannot let our guard down
So should stay on high alert
For though love may make us happy,
Sometimes, it, like germs, may hurt.
Dual Role
The factory was a dual role one
It was a great division of labour
And of resources making double the profit
On a Monday it made polonium
And on a Tuesday it made baby milk
And on a Wednesday it made anthrax
And on a Thursday it made flour
And on a Friday it made cyanide
And on a Saturday it made sugar
And on a Sunday it made strychnine
This was a factory of war and peace
It depended on the day
It was worked in three shifts
7 days a week
365 days a year
Feeding nation’s civilians
And poisoning the enemies
from Side of the Hill – Varied Poems... Nick Armbrister
Your love is so crippling
Every minute sniffling
From the germs crawling around
Inflicting me till I am down
And so weak I can't get through
One lonely day without you
Attacking me with looks and touches
Needing you almost as much as
We need air to breathe and live
There is nothing I won't give
Showing how you saved me from
The person that I would become
If fate didn't push me near
Your specialness to ease my fear
That I was destined to be
Alone and filled with misery
But your love germs put a stop
Allowing all my fears to pop
Disappearing in a flash
Helping my walls fall and crash
That blocked my hearts happy view
Now it's clear since I found you
Germs on Your Money
By Elton Camp
Who can know where your money has been
Was stuffed into shorts at a male stripper den
Or the prostitute stuffed it away safely hid
As the of Venereal Disease John she got rid
Oh, you say my money’s never been such places
But still, of germs and viruses it may have traces
Actually, of careful studies there have been few
And more are needed to know what is really true
In 1972, the AMA studied both coins and bills
Their findings could easily enough give chills
On 13 percent of coins, harmful germs were found
And 42 percent of bank notes also had them around
A University of California study is cause for care,
Finding Staphylococcus aureus and E. coli there
Making it even worse, pathogens such as these
Come from nasal mucus and from human feces
But to cause disease, even threats like those
Require that we scratch our eyes or our nose
Mother knew the best bet for us to stay well
“Always wash your hands,” is what she’d tell.