FISH AND FISHING
Eat fish and you’re fed for one meal says my wife;
But learn how to fish and you’re fed all your life.
But the taste of that fish
It’s not what I wish -
It’s meat and potatoes I want on my knife.
If I had to catch what I eat in the sea
With never a taste of a sausage or pea,
My meals would be sad
And my taste-buds not glad.
I’d rather have nothing at all but my tea.
The fish in the ocean need not fear me.
Just turnips and carrots and cabbage, you see,
And porkchops and veal
And burgers ; not eel,
Nor dolphin, nor codfish nor kedgeree.
........................................................
Written for John Freeman's Contest: Limericks About Fishing
I wanted to learn how to fish.
Daddy said he would grant my wish.
Handed me a worm
That started to squirm.
I'd rather get fish from a dish.
My dear husband whom I adore
Asked me to go fishing once more.
I tripped and fell in
A fisherman's sin.
Now we're buying fish from the store.
The fish were all biting that day,
Promised I'd stay out of his way.
He threw out the hook.
It snagged on my book.
Now I'm not a fish devotee.
April 25/11
For John's Fishing Limerick Contest
One summer day as hot as it can be.
We went fishing just us three.
I got my pole a hook and a weight.
Going fishing for me felt just great.
As I cast out my line a fish bit my hook.
Ohhh I got one in five min.that's all it took.
So I jerked real hard as I reeled it in.
That's when my wheelchair begun to spin.
I fell backwards as the fish flew through the air.
And that's when a big cow patty got in my hair.
We all laughed so hard we couldn't see straight.
Remember I saved the fish I caught for next years bait.
Teresa Skyles
This is a true story.
Entered in Destroyer Poet's"My funniest poem on soup"contest
Canoeing on the Tomoka River
A cool spring day with gulls leading in line
My male companion had never canoed
So the powerful paddling chore was mine
Heaving breathlessly I rowed us along
Attempting to transport us far upstream
It was then quite a shock came from the blue
A startling splash down my back made me scream
My friend jumped and nearly toppled the boat
I rose carefully and turned ‘round to find
A mullet jumped into my rented canoe
It twisted and flopped to escape its confines
This event preceded my fishing days
And I was happy when the fish flew out
This was the first fish that I’d ever caught
No reel, no hook, and bait I did without
Years later I bought a cabin cruiser
Because seafood is tops on my menu
Many days offshore with nary a bite
Maybe I should have purchased a canoe
*True story for Nikko's Twist and Shock contest
Did you hear the news today?
Pelican Can-Can is on his way
Looking for a new dish
Something made of fish
He is waiting for some luck
But with his web feet please don't call him a duck
I know you have some fish tales
Some gigantic as big as whales
So poets lets have some fun
Let the fish tales begin and have their run.
How big of a fish tale do you have?
See Iolanda's Blog
Here's a tale that you won't believe
It happened a long time ago
This story is true, believe it or not
Because I told you so
I was fishing and I got a bite
It was tugging at my pole
I can't tell you where this place is
Cause it's my favorite fishing hole
I grabbed my rod and gave a yank
And it almost pulled me in
It was big, I knew I was in trouble
I was waiting for the fun to begin
It put up a fight that lasted for hours
I was as tired as I could be
And when I got it in my boat
You won't believe what was looking at me
It was a girl with a fish's tail
A Mermaid, I think they're called
At first she didn't like me much
You could even say she was apalled
I knew something smelled fishy
And I'm not talking about the chick
I just knew this couldn't be real
It had to be some kinda trick
I was gonna take a picture
To show you that it's true
That Mermaid wouldn't let me
If I did she said we're thru
Anyway, to make a long story short
That fish girl is now my bride
And this ain't one of them fish tales
So you better not say I lied
"You're frightfully fat," said the fish to the frog,
"and yet you just sit there, a bump on a log."
Frog opened one eye, looked back at the fish,
"In stillness I'm granted my ultimate wish.
If I sit very still," he said with a shrug,
"I'm able to capture the best tasting bugs."
Said the frog, with a wink, "If you think I am lazy,
I'd answer, it's better than swimming like crazy!"
"Well," said the fish, "I can dart like a flash,
and sometimes jump high and make a big splash!"
"How thrilling," said the frog, with a nod and a yawn,
"but I can swim in the water AND hop on the lawn.
It's the best of both worlds," he said with a croak,
"now do go away like a good little bloke."
"Well, I'm glad that you're happy," his fish scales gleamed,
"Cause your face is the ugliest I've ever seen!"
And, with that, the fish swam quickly away,
and the old frog just smiled, for what could he say?
©Danielle White